Hello @Cosmic_Curiosity , I am sorry for your losses. I will add in my cents too for that is worth.
I too have had experiences with loved ones after death. I believe there are different planes of existence. I believe there can be reincarnation, that the soul makes the choice or is at least part of the choice/agreement with others we have reincarnated with before. If we don’t reincarnate here then we have moved on to different planes of existences and maybe come back ‘later’ to reincarnate. For me, reincarnation doesn’t invalidate my experiences with my loved ones who have passed. I don’t believe reincarnation happens instantly. Time is an illusion anyways, like @MeganB was mentioning.
I haven’t spent much time thinking about the afterlife in the past 15 years though as I have children and I want to be alive for them for many more years to come. I will likely come back to this topic as I age.
I left the church, in a large part, because of the dogma. I, personally, would choose to ignore someone if they told me I couldn’t be Wiccan if I didn’t believe in reincarnation or that it was an absolute must. (I am a bit of a rebel when it comes to strong exclusionary beliefs) And if it was a huge thing then I would simply be me, a witch, or even just a human with a soul on a journey who currently is loving exploring magick and the extra sensory things life has to offer.
I am happy for you that you had these experiences with your loved ones 
. May they be held as treasures in your heart.
but it’s a good question!