Fear of commitment trying to find myself

So I have a question … I was adopted at 3 months, i had a nice mother and father and a good life. but is there something in my life or past life that keeps me fearful of commitment? or never feeling like I fit in? that I can mediate to or have a deity for


@wishiestarz r u asking for a meditation? Im confused on what u are asking for?


yes some form of meditation to help these feelings that I need to release. To become more open to myself.


@wishiestarz i know there are lots of guided meditations on YouTube that have helped me in the past. But a specific one for your needs im sorry i dont have one. But someone else might be able to assist once they see your message.


I think what it sounds like is:

You’re asking about ancestral or something from your genetic line that happened in the past that maybe needs to be corrected or let go so you can continue to move forward? Do you know anything about your genetic parents or where they came from?

If you do, that help point you in the right direction of what it is that needs correcting or to be let go of or beliefs that may need to be tramsformed.

Ancestral Karma Clearing: Release Negative Build Up from DNA Family will kind of do a general clean up, unless there is something specific that you have become aware of that needs to be changed or healed.

Others may have more insight for you too or other meditations. :hugs:


Along with everything that everyone has already said, one thing that I recommend is therapy. Now I know that doesn’t sound very witchy but hear me out – one practice that many people in spiritual communities say everyone should do (and I have thoughts on that anyway) is shadow work. This, at its core, is a psychological practice to uncover and integrate the parts of our shadow self that interferes with our waking life.

You may want to explore shadow work and see if you can uncover anything in your shadow that’s holding you back. One example could be your fear of commitment comes from your experience being adopted. Or maybe you had an experience as a child, no matter how small, that leads you to being afraid to commit to someone or something. It’s also very possible that your fear stems from a deeper issue, too. Or it could be completely surface level! The only person that’s going to know this is you and your therapist if you have access to one.

Here are some links for shadow work that might help you get started!

Somnia Tarot Unboxing & Flipthrough PLUS A New Shadow Work Tarot Spread [CC] - YouTube
What is SHADOW WORK || Psychology or Spirituality? And why YOU should be doing it || Podcast Live - YouTube
Conversations with Self || A Guided Meditation WITH JOURNAL PROMPTS - YouTube
What’s in the Darkness? || Shadow Work Tarot Spread + Free Printable! – 'Round the Cauldron
Shadow Work – Embrace the Darkness to Become Whole – 'Round the Cauldron
Shadow work and how to begin
Shadow Work for Fighting "Toxic Positivity"

Please note: I’m not a doctor or mental health provider, so please take my advice with a grain of salt and do what’s best for yourself.


Hi @wishiestarz - I want to stress what @MeganB and @Siofra_Strega stated about 1) do shadow work with the help of a therapist (I also recommend journaling); 2) doing a karmic release ritual.

In addition to and complementary to these, now (SAMHAIN season) is a perfect time to tap into your ancestors and spirit guides if you haven’t already and create a bond with them and ask for their guidance, blessing and any information that could help you in your quest. There are many discussions going on about this right now, but if there is something hidden from you that has happened in your past/ past life, you will begin the journey of discovery there.

Blessed be! :brown_heart:


This seems to be the time of year when shadow work is brought up in rituals & moon workings & general workings. This also happens to be when I had started mine… however, I agree with @jan_TheGreenWitch & @MeganB that to do so with help or access to a therapist…

Being a psychological practice I was aware of and once I started & looked at the different journal prompts that I was working on: Shadow Self Challenge - The Eclectic Green Witchery I got to a place where I needed to have some kind of assistance or help to work through those things & now I still have a journal & it really does help me with letting go & processing & releasing certain things.

I will stress that access or with the help of a therapist is key for me… once I actually really started answering the questions presented very honestly to events that led up to that point… a lot of things came up that needed to be processed & everyone is going to do that differently. If there is something there that is an issue a therapist & journal is going to help you more than you may realize or think on the surface.

Now I have a journal with a few pages of journal prompts that I try to go through each time I journal and we (my therapist or psychiatrist & I) have come up with that work for me to get through these things.

I also want to say that I am not licensed for anything in the medical field or mental health, but this is what has worked for me & because of it, we have been able to pinpoint specific things & treatments for me that work & my shadow work now looks a little different than what the community at large is used to, it’s tweaked to work for myself & the best outcome in a way.

I would tread lightly if you don’t have access to a therapist or don’t think that you would want to go that route. I say that because you may start the shadow work & then it’s kind of a… Can open, worms everywhere… situation.