I had a somewhat heated talk with my 18-year-old about helping around the house. He decided that I was arguing to argue. I wasn’t yelling; I stated facts in a sterner voice than my regular & I flatly said; I am sick of not having help maintaining the house. I feel like it’s his age, instant gratification, answer for everything… so my last sentence was, “I won’t say another word.” I finished picking up the kitchen and just went to my room with my laptop. I could hear him play his music loudly, so meditation was out then. I decided after about a half-hour to go down to our beach. I sat there watching the water, listening to the whipping wind that would pick up sand and every so often, and toss it my way. I watched two little ones play with their Dad in the water, and a couple was enjoying their time in the water while a few others sat on the beach. They were reading, listening to music, resting their eyes. I asked the world, What did I do to deserve such ungratefulness? Why is it so tough for me to get any help from him? I did a headspace meditation on the beach because I am still learning. I then walked to the edge of the water and put my feet in for a few seconds and decided to head back to my house. Upon entering my home, he was folding the laundry from the couch with his music on, I said nothing and went to my room to work on my family tree. I heard my husband come home, and when I entered the living room. The whole pile of laundry was folded, and he had just finished matching socks. I guess we needed to be separated for a little bit. The negativity that I had felt in the house was gone, and it had become more pleasant. I brought in the barrel, wiped down the bathroom, I made a cup of tea and retreated to my room. We could talk in short sentences. We needed time apart. I don’t know what he is thinking or what happens next, but I am happy that somehow, he got the message. Just a little help is all I asked for, and he gave it to me. I thanked him a couple of times. Now I wait to see what happens next in our changing relationship.
Is it just the age? Is it something that he needs to go through? My 11 year old helps me out whenever she is at the house, minus her room. I feel like he wants so much so fast to change for him and that he thinks he knows it all about the world. Do I just let him go and figure it out? I don’t even know if I did the right thing. But it feels like going to the beach to talk to nature was what we both needed to get through this afternoon. I noticed how the wind was moving the water and the sand, could the full moon and impending stormy weather be unusually affecting both of us? We are usually very close and talk without it being close to an argument.