Hey All, I know the general advice regarding domestic violence. Call Police, Get her to a shelter, get her away from him. But unfortunately she is stuck and unable/unwilling to leave. My friend and her parents are living in a hotel, the mom is doing housekeeping to cover the cost of their room. This garbage human that is beating my friend is also a long term resident of this hotel as well. He also claims to be Wiccan. He also claims to do hexes and curses and moonlights as a vampire. He’s a joke but he’s also the son of a local Motorcycle Club “president”. He’s bad people, with a lot of connections to other bad people. I was thinking of doing a return to sender type of spell directed at him, and a protection spell for her and maybe some sort of binding spell on him…I’ve never had a community of witches before so I’ve just kinda been winging it the past 20 years, does anyone have any suggestions of rituals/spells I can do to help keep her safe??? Please guys, I cant watch another woman be treated this way after losing my sister to suicide in 2018 due to her boyfriend abusing her, this would just devastate me
Start with the protection spells. Keep showing your friend that she is worthy of love and nurturing. Her safety right now is the top priority and hopefully Karma (or the police) will do its job with the aggressor.
Toxic relationships usually break down self-confidence. Try to help her regain her confidence so she can see it for herself.
You can offer her a spell bag with herbs for self-confidence and strength , for example: Cedar, cloves, thyme Also crystals such as Bloodstone, Tiger’s eye, Clear Quartz.
If after you and your friend have done the protection work, a return to sender spell can help in reversing on-going attacks.
Also, this spell might help:
I am so sorry to hear about your friend- but even in such a horrific situation, she is lucky to have you on her side!
Francisco is absolutely right about protecting her emotionally as well as physically. If you have the option, try to take her away on fun excursions or dates. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy- maybe going for a walk or visiting a cafe. Sometimes a bit of physical distance helps to clear the mind and helps someone to see new possibilities.
I am hoping and praying that better times are coming her way. Blessings to you and her, Kara!
I just wanted to comment and say that she is fortunate to have you and I hope she is safe soon.
Make sure to also take care of yourself too. <3
That’s horrible!! I’m so sorry!! Your friend is lucky to have you!!! I suggest what the others suggested. Those spells word wonders. Just keep checking on her. Let her know that she’s not alone!!! There is a way out. I’ll pray for her. I’m sending positive and protective vibes!!!
Tell her - Get out! Get out now!
Do the spells, yes. But make sure she’s s out of immediate danger.
Please be safe!
I’m so sorry that your friend is experiencing this but I’m glad they have you there for whatever support they need. I definitely second everything that has already been said. Protection spells for those affected, a binding for the abuser, and of course, any mundane things that you already mentioned (police, etc.)
I hope everything works out and that you are able help them get to a safe place.
I’m so sorry to hear that your friend is having such a horrible experience with someone who s supposed to care for her All of the above spells will help and also being there for her even when you think she is making the wrong choice You sound like an amazing friend and she is lucky to have you I have experienced DV personally and I can tell you now that they usually never change Blessed Be
The below suggestions are great so I’m gonna give you some mundane advice.
Get her the Aspire App on her phone! It looks like a regular news app so if he checks out her phone he won’t notice anything different, but it has a help button so if things are getting out of hand she can tap it three times and a recorded message is sent to whoever she wants it to go to.
It’ll also start recording so if she ever does decide to file charges she’ll have some proof. There’s also a help section that will give her resources like a list of things she should have if and when she does leave.
I hope the above spells help though, I really do. Goddess bless, I’ll be thinking of her.
hey guys, thank you all for the suggestions. I’ve done a protection spell for her and a banishing spell directed at him. He’s out of town for “work” for now but its like she is obsessed with this dude. She and I have both survived DV in our old relationships, I thought that I could help her mentally because I have experience with these things and also with people who have borderline personality disorder(which she has as well) but its starting to seem like she wants to stay where she is; on drugs, off meds, in a “joker and harley quinn” type relationship…I’m like girl that shi… aint cute, we’re grown ups now. Luckily her kids aren’t with her currently, and because her mom’s so kind to everyone in that hotel, everyone keeps an eye out for her. My only problem with being there for her, I am also a recovering addict and I can’t sacrifice my own sobriety for her well being. Thank you all so much for these awesome spell suggestions, I’ve used a few already and will be using the rest soon!! Thanks again, yall are the best!
Glad he’s out for work! Hopefully he’ll stay that way. Take care of yourself though, you can’t help her if you’re drowning! I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Kara, you have some tough but immediate decisions to make. It sounds like your friend is an enabler and a chronic victim.
I don’t know if this will help but it is pertinent to your friends situation. It’s a little Christian, but Christianity is not evil. I’m not a Christian but respect the fact that the ‘church’ and parishioners can be a great support system. Church, Synagogue, or Coven, you are never alone. I promise.
Stop participating in arguments. Abusers seek any reaction they can get (positive or negative) because they crave attention and control over the emotions of others. When you stop engaging in arguments, you protect yourself from copying his sin, and deny him the sinful pleasure of knowing he has power over you.
Require accountability. In Matthew 18, Jesus lays out the steps to confronting sin amongst believers. Get the assistance of your church in addressing your husband’s behavior. Not all pastors and counselors are versed in handling incidents of domestic violence so we’ve created a post with domestic violence resources for churches to help guide your conversation with them.
Allow consequences to play out Most often, experience is the best teacher- and that includes consequences. Resolve to stop making excuses to cover up his outbursts. Break the silence about what’s occurring in your home . You don’t need to all out defame his character, but those around you need to know the truth about what he’s doing so you both can get help. Allowing consequences to play out isn’t punishment, it’s tough love.
Stop “fixing” behaviors. Do not make therapy appointments for him. Do not create a list of books or websites he should read. Do not coddle him when he starts missing appointments with your pastor because he’s “doing better.” He needs to develop a plan and he needs to do the work. No excuses. And there needs to be long term established changed in his individual behavior (at least a year) before any work on reconciling the relationship should be considered. In the meantime, instead of focusing on him, turn that love and compassion towards yourself.
Put the responsibility for the abuse where it belongs. And that’s on the abuser himself. His family of origin is not responsible. The person who traumatized him as a child is not responsible. You are not responsible. These are lies that keep your husband locked in denial- and in Satan’s grasp. Change the narrative you tell yourself and others. He will only be free when he comes to know the victory he has in Christ, and receives the power to change through the Holy Spirit.
Lastly Sweetie, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You have been loving and supportive to your friend and relate to the addiction ‘Walked a mile in her shoes.’
Kara I will light a candle and send you encouragement and resolve.
Blessed be, Sister kin.
Thank you for this. I don’t consider myself a christian but I grew up in a so called Christian family, and have therefore seen so many beautiful things come from that faith. It truly upsets me when people try to make it into a weapon. My friend is a Christian though and I hope she finds this as helpful and insightful as I have. Its funny to me the site you got that from has agape in their url, it’s one of my favorite words. Im planning to get all the different greek words for love tattooed on me and wanted to start with agape. Its just sad for me to know that all the time I spent trying to help her value herself seems to have done nothing for her. But like you said, you can’t help someone who doesnt really want help.
Oh lord Kara, do you know how romantic the Greeks were!
Let’s put it this way, can you say illustrated woman. Tattoos are addictive…really!
They’re like chocolate, You have to ask yourself, do I want it or do I need it.
Still, it could be absolutely exquisite.
Good luck and warm blessings