I love everyone in my spells8 family. Now that I’ve had my COVID test as of 8:30AM & I have to stay home, my surgery has gotten really, real. My anxiety is just getting higher with each couple of hours that goes by. That being said, I was trying to keep myself busy this morning, and was getting things I’ll need in my room for 24 hours after surgery before I can do anything, and I thought, I needed to really check in because I’ve been a little distant. My mental health changes and this weather change has been no good for me no matter how much I tell myself I’m doing good. I just really want this over with. I was hoping for an earlier time, but its mid-afternoon. Which isn’t so bad because Peanut starts school in the morning, but no food or drink after midnight tonight. I can have a sip of water to take my medicine.
While gathering things for my room, I realized that my surgery is on Mabon. I have decorated where my altar is & my living room. I have a Mabon tea to drink when I get home. Then, I have a silver Tibetan Buddhist Rose ring. My mom gave me that ring years ago. I had no idea what it was! Im so happy. I could be wrong but I think this means I’m making the right tough decision to end this relationship.
I promise to update when I’m home either Monday evening or no later than Tuesday morning. I’m sorry I’ve been distant, my anxiety about this decision & my surgery has taken it’s toll on me.