Good morning to my new witchy coven family!
I have gotten to chat with a few of you and I think I’m sort of addicted to this forum, now.
I am a stay at home mama in Dallas, TX. I’ve lived here since 2015 but we are hoping to make a move to TN soon because that’s where all my family is and I MISS THEM SO MUCH (I come from a family of 8 and my siblings and I are close).
Anyway, as I’m typing this out I’m beginning to realize that this post may be very rambly. I’m sorry about that.
While I am completely throwing myself into my young practice and loving every moment learning from and growing with you all in the Craft, one of the reasons I’ve loved this forum so much is because of the connection with each of you brilliant, loving souls! I have felt very isolated for a few years and don’t have many friends or nearby family I can safely open up to. But I feel safe spilling here, if that is okay.
Guys… I need some light today.
I’ve mentioned that my husband is a COVID long hauler and he hasn’t been well. He is the one who works while I’m home with the littles (6 and 2). We are looking for a rental in the area ASAP. We’ve lived with my in-laws for over two years and the environment is toxic for me. Not only are there incredibly strong clashing personalities in the house, but I need the freedom to express myself at home. (I’m practicing in secret and just trying to find the alone time and space to do so, I need light and art, to sing loud, let my kids go crazy, all of it.)
This sounds so so selfish, but I’m going to say it. I’m struggling with my husband’s health. I’m worried about him and desperately want to help him get well. But I also struggle with feelings of resentment because he’s in bed whenever he’s home, he’s missing days of work, and… I’m scared he’ll get fired. I’m angry he can’t be a more present husband and father, and I feel alone. I’m afraid that he won’t get well and I will need to go to work and figure out how to care for the kids. It feels like we’ll never have our own home or be back in TN.
And then I’m flooded with guilt for thinking this way. I should be strong for him. I should be telling him it’ll all be alright, that I’ve got his back, and he’s going to get well.
I don’t really know what I’m asking for or WHY I’m saying all of this. Lol I need a therapist.
I thank you all from the depths of my being for your instant support and light in my life. Many of you are dealing with health issues, losses of loved ones, and your own day to day worries. I see you and I’m here for you. I want to bless you all as you’ve already blessed me.
If anyone has tips, advice, spells for healing and abundance, connection, anxiety relief - anything that you may feel led to share… please share it.
Sorry this is so lengthy and personal and needy!!!
Blessed be, my friends.