Lengthy Introduction

Hello all, My name is Mona and I am ready for my life to take a positive, permanent change. I used to be a ray of sarcastic sunshine but my Sunshine is gone and I can’t get away from the dark and I am desperate now as I don’t trust anyone out here to help me. I have been betrayed by those I should have been able to trust.
I apologize for the length here-
I have 5 kids, but 2 don’t talk to me, one of whom tells people I’m dead. The one I used to be very close to has changed towards me thanks to the machinations of whatever it is that made them suddenly turn on me part of it being the Devil/manchild I stupidly married thanks in no part to my mother. The other 2 live with me still and while one shows no signs of wanting to lead a productive life, the youngest one has proven himself to be the smartest and most manipulative but I also think he’s got gifts too that I would like to help him realize and use for good.
Since 2019, actually maybe since 2017 but 2019 was when my life officially imploded. I was forced out of a job, I was going through a terrible separation that caused a significant amount of PTSD and added to my anxiety, My kids turned on me and I unfortunately acquired a roommate to help me pay bills and that has turned into a situation that I do not like at all. My beliefs and thought processes have gone through some changes, some beneficial, the rest detrimental which is why I am here.

I believe I am broken, or I got pushed too close to the edge, where I now stand with my arms flailing wildly trying to right myself, I don’t want to fall in if I haven’t already.
I believe this is where I need to be and I believe I have a mission assigned to me by the higher powers or maybe I’m just consumed by the anger, betrayal and confusion of everything I’ve seen since my eyes started seeing the world for what it really has become.
The trauma from 2019 seems to have kick-started something in me, I seem to have opened a supernatural pathway and I am looking for validation, connections, like a non judgemental mentor or confidant to help me find direction, clear my chaotic head so I can fully see and utilize my gifts and to help me figure out why I feel cursed and help me stop this slow Spiral in the wrong direction.
I’m here because I don’t trust anyone in my circle, especially my roommate who has pretty much driven everyone away, I need help making her go away from me too but I don’t want to incur anymore bad juju so to speak. In fact, I’m starting to think she’s become a major part of the issue now.
I can’t get away from whatever it is that’s keeping me down and I would really appreciate some help to identify what’s going on and help to banish it from me. I feel like I’m stuck in a continuous loop of bad juju.
One last thing-while I believe in a higher power, I no longer believe in a God and I have come to believe religion is the real evil in this world. I don’t want to insult anyone.

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Hi @mona! I’m Amethyst from Southern West Virginia. Welcome to the forum! :infinite_roots:

Wow. That was a lot to unpack. I think you needed to say that, and I’m glad we could be the forum you picked to support you. Through magic, you can learn to stand up for yourself, police your own boundaries and face your shadow. It’s difficult work, but you can do it!

Now I am not one for relationship advice, and I’ve never had children so I don’t feel comfortable giving you advice about that either, but I have had a mind that turned on me. Personally, while I would aim you at the general courses usually, I think you could use the Meditation Course the most, calm your mind and hopefully that will help you face the rest of your life.

And to go with that, I would also suggest counseling. Or at least a trip to a doctor and let them know how you feel. You don’t know me all that well, but there was a time when I wished a semi-truck would hit me on the way to work. I wouldn’t be the loveable, weirdo person I am today without meds to help calm my mind.

It also sounds like you need to believe in yourself, and we can help you do that. If you ever need to talk, just talk and usually, someone will pop up with advice or at least an I’m Thinking of You or Sending You Good Vibes.

You can make your life better, and you’ve done the first step. Congratulations, you’re doing good already!

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Welcome to the forum @mona. I’m Siofra_Strega one of the moderators here at Spells8. I’m from Cape Cod & have a husband & 3 children of my own.

I hope you have been able to see someone to help you through such difficult times. I can’t imagine what you are feeling with everything imploding in such ways.

I do think you should go through the courses, but before that I would absolutely tey to do a grounding, healing, or self love meditation…

I would start with at least one of those & then some self protections & maybe home protections.

We are all very friendly & supportive. So if yiu do have any questions or something to share, please feel free to ask, start your own topic, or jump in on any open topic.

You may also benefit from this week’s group ritual: (Group Ritual - Feb 23) :gift_heart: Ritual to Manifest a Wish. It’s a simple tea spell that you could do when you have some time or over the weekend.

I hope you are able to settle in & start on your path with a much better result & find your footing within your power. :people_hugging:

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Welcome to the forum @mona :wave:

My name is Megan and I’m one of the moderators here at Spells8 :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: It’s nice to meet you!

I’m so sorry you’ve lost your sunshine :sun: Traumatic events can do that to people and it sounds like you’ve definitely experienced some chaos in your life within the last few years. It wouldn’t surprise me if the pandemic also made it worse, as that also affected the sunshine of many people around the world.

I don’t believe you’re broken, though. I don’t think it’s possible for someone to be completely broken – there’s always something that can be done to help a person heal or cope with the things happening in their lives.

I think you’ve come to a good place for community and support, even a bit of witchy education if that’s what you’re looking for. I can tell you from personal experience that it’s hard work pulling yourself back from the edge of whatever proverbial cliff you’re on. That’s why having a support system is super important! I really encourage you to seek out a support system in your offline life as well. In situations such as these, I also must recommend a mental health professional that can help teach you coping skills and healing – I know not everyone has access to this, but if you do, I highly encourage you to go that route as well!

Some wonderful meditations have also been linked, and that’s a great place to start. :heart:

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@mona
I’m Garnet from Florida. I lived in Virginia Beach for many years, Navy family, you know? Welcome to a site of knowledge, insight, and love.
No one will or should encourage you to become something you’re not or don’t want to be, Should at any time you feel pressured, please let one of us know and the issue will be addressed.
My darling girl, we all came here as Seekers with a great thirst for knowledge. Here we have a deep well (library). Please, drink deeply!

I think of you as an empty book. Pick up your pencil & let’s all fill our books.
Many of our lovely members will give you better directions as to surfing the site.
We are a group of like-minded people from around the world! They share so much experience & knowledge. @Silverbear & @MeganB make great instructional videos, @christina4 is very knowledgeable about crystals.
@BryWisteria is kind and helpful. @Amethyst Lovely, lovely girl.
If I’ve forgotten anyone, well I’m a forgetful rascal.

My suggestions? Listen to what everyone says (we love questions). If what you find rings true, keep it, if it doesn’t? Just let it go, it’s like the pain in one’s life.
You can hold on to it and be frightfully unhappy, or you can forgive yourself and others. Miss Mona, let it go, life is for living.
Grab a cup of tea, sit back, pick up your feet, learn something, and make some new friends.
Blessed be.
You and yours, stay safe & know you are loved.
Garnet

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Merry meet :hugs: and welcome home :infinite_roots: @mona

I’m Marsha, an Eclectic Solitary Witch, from Colorado. I’m glad you have joined us, Mona, you are in a safe and no-judgment group. I agree with @Amethyst that the Mediation Course is a great place to begin. Meditating has really helped me to heal and grow. Another thing you can do is put in a healing request: Energy Exchange Circle February 2023

The things you are going through now sound so much like my life. I know how difficult walking this path is. It’s taken me many years to forgive and let go of all the terrible things that happened. It’s still a work in progress for me. One book that really helped me to begin to heal is Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping

There is a lot of great information here, so if you need any guidance, or have any questions, let us know. We are here for you, Mona, welcome to the family. :people_hugging:

With love :heart: and magick :dizzy: always

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Welcome! You have come to the right place. This community is amazing and so supportive! I don’t know that I am experienced enough to offer any spiritual advice but you have my love and support during your journey.

Blessed Be

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You are not broken! I feel like you might be hurt and betrayed but definitely not broken!

Oh, Im Christina and I’m from New York. I’m a certified crystal therapist and i recently received my reiki attunement.

I can familiarize with not having a circle anymore and having trust issues. I dont want to list all of the physical/mental/emotional problems i have. But i have learned from them. I can’t stand my past. Believe me, it’s a scary place. If I didn’t learn to accept mt past issues, they would keep coming right back to me like a slap in the face! But I’m terribly sorry about everything youre going through. I like to think that someone, somewhere always has it worse.

I’m here if you need to talk. This is definitely the right place to be as its become my new, chosen family! You’ll fit right in. Blessed be :pray:

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Merry meet @mona,

I’m Bry, another moderator here in the forum- wishing you a very warm welcome :heart:

It sounds like you have really been through a lot over the last couple years. I know the feeling of teetering right on the edge, not sure which way is up or down, left or right. Those times are really hard, but you’re already doing something so important- which is reaching out. You’re right that having a circle, a loving and supportive community, can be that solid anchor that helps you feel safe and secure within yourself.

I’m happy to say that you’ve found a really great space for that- you are very welcome here, Mona! The coven community is a very supportive one. We all have our own unique beliefs and walk our own paths, but this is a home and safe space.

Speaking of safe spaces, within the forum is the A Sacred Space Category- this is a private part of the forum where coven members are free to talk about more sensitive topics (while still honoring the forum rules). Please feel free to use that space as well as the many other categories of the forum- they are there for you! :blush:

If you have any questions or simply want to chat, know that the coven is here and always happy to help however we can! As you can probably already tell, we are a very friendly bunch. Make yourself at home :infinite_roots: :heart:

Blessed be!

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Are you still out there? :people_hugging: I’d like to say welcome to the coven, forum and the “bottom” We have all been there, are there or on our way there to rise again. The most important thing when reaching the bottom is to put the shovel down and stop digging. The only one you can change is yourself, so start there. Learn and perform a protection spell or two. Cut cords. Perform self Love and empowerment spells and do shadow work :purple_heart:

All the information is here for you as well as a whole bunch of Loving witches to help you. Use us and the information to help you get out of the hole and start to trust others again :people_hugging: We are here for you, now you need to be here for you. :mending_heart:

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@mona Hi Mona, this post got hilighted due to @Shadeweaver reply. What he says is true. I’d like to add, noone comes here (Spells8 for example) by “accident”. When my life imploded and I was betrayed by those I trusted, I “stumbled” back into my long lost craft. I don’t believe you’ve come here by chance my lovely. Though I’m not qualified to mentor anyone, through reading posts and chatting to fellow witches here, you end up being mentored anyway. What helped me through my shadow work and getting rid of my demons was a beautiful set of Oracle cards called Season of the Witch Samhain by Juliet Diaz. They are very good for helping to heal those deep wounds. They’re on Amazon. Take your time, stay with us. Blessed be beautiful :sparkling_heart:

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Oh my, I feel this all on such a personal level. Way too much for me to unpack at this moment. The loss of children to an evil ex, the crisis of faith… yeah i can’t go on right now. Sending you a hug. Welcome.

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When I first signed up to be a part of this group. I was so anxious to get started I missed this section. But I was using my kindle as it don’t give you the full range like the computer does. So i guess I said all of that to simply say this. As I read these post in response Mona post. For the first time I really felt real love, deep love people who care, and thats what everyone needs. A lap to lay your head on ,or a warm comfy pillow that when you do you get the feeling. Everything is going to be ok. Thats what you ladies, and gents provide. I thank you all. Blessed Be.

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I feel a lot of what you say. I suffer from PTSD and until recently, felt like my heart was just a wound I kept pulling the scar from. I had a man I loved tell me 2 months ago he was seeing someone in an email. That triggered something on me to say “screw it, no more.” I realized that all the things I dwell on, the trauma, can’t be changed. Living as if its constant only empowers the people who hurt me (who don’t know or care). Your identity is wrapped up in the constant self victimization you put yourself through without knowing it. You have the power to create the you that you always wanted to be. You write your own chapter, your own book and take back the power you let those horrible people have. Acknowledging that my past is just that, my past, really made me understand that I control my future. Believe me, I start thinking of the trauma and say to myself “No, I’m stronger and I deserve better. I’m safe and no one can hurt me if I don’t let them.” You’re never alone and learning more and more about the craft increases that feeling of control and power. Welcome and I applaud your honesty.

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