In the process of starting a post on Facebook reviewing 2020 as a whole, I focused heavily on the latter half of the year and realized this was the reason I started to write. Instead of doing the previous idea, it’s time I discuss, on this forum, the renewed life I found in 2020.
As a recap, I am a polyamorous witch that finally embraced Wicca (after 25 years of flirting with it) on my birthday of this year. July 4th/5th was one of the best weekends of my life. Another came in August. I am also a person that had an diagnosed mental illness until this year so with the high, comes the low…
Triggering topic blurred by me...
On September 7th, I overdosed on legal prescriptions with the intent on taking my own life. I thought I had lost my wife, my kids, and my girlfriend. My mental illness got the best of me and the shadow image of me in my dreams was now winning in every nightmare. I was tired and I wanted the pain to end.
While I knew my actions in the blurred paragraph would mean certain banishment of me from her life, I also knew my ex’s influence on me had been overall positive and I wanted her to have that knowledge. She was the first person I reached out to and the person that helped save me initially. The first person I thank is my ex.
My wife brought me to the hospital and cared for me there and when I got home. I am forever in her debt. The second person I thank is my wife.
September was a month of healing for me, for my wife, and for my kids. We ended up keeping our home and the marriage was rescued. I had many paths out of my turmoil before the above event, but I was too sick or too stubborn to take them. September exposed that to me and I was finally able to get help. The third person I thank is my therapist(and her team) that helped me.
October and November, while tumultuous for me and my family, were overall positive months for my healing. I was able to return to work, gain my personality back, and really dive into my practices. It was due to the unending love and patience of my best friends that I was able to get through those months. The fourth and fifth people I thank are my best friends, Eyes and Moon.
I have seen from many online coven members praises for Wicca or for personal deities normally attached to Wicca/neopaganism. These praises have been for renewed life, renewed purpose, saving from depression, and even the saving of life itself. Just this week, another forum member said Wicca saved them.
Well, it was during these months that I went from honoring The Lady as a symbol of The Divine, to worshiping The Lord and The Lady as my personal deities. I celebrated the Witches’ New Year for the first time as a witch and I loved the experience. With meditation, therapy, and a strong network of support I went from broken to whole again. In fact, I am back in my healing role I used to play. For this I thank The Lady.
I didn’t talk a lot about my battles on here. I let you know they were there but I tried to stay focused on you. Why? Because you have your own stories to tell. You need people to send energy to you and to do spells for/with you. You need another friend, mentor, teacher, whatever, and you don’t need more trouble. But I am telling you now because the last person I need to thank for life, isn’t one person - it’s persons. It’s you.
@Francisco, @TheTravelWitch, @MeganB, @kasie, @Limeberry, @Tamera, oh so many and I wish I could list you all by memory, Katt, kira-marie, Jeanie1, Berta, marissa, SivlerBear, christina4, krissie117, the list could go on and on…
Thank you for being full of witchy resources. (I have been a sponge this year soaking up the blessings of your collective knowledge.) Thank you for your kindness and examples of humility and openness to others.
This forum is the place it is today thanks to you. It is a safe place to learn and grow thanks to you. It is a safe place for questions. It is a place where we can have tea together, share recipes, teach each other our rituals, and become better versions of ourselves.
(This week I was mentioned for giving the most likes to what people said in the previous week. How could I not give so many likes when everywhere I turn I see helpful posts and ideas and so many people thanking each other and welcoming each other?)
Thanks to you, and the others I have previously thanked, I am better than I was at the start of the year, I am healthier than I was at the start of the year, and I am back to teaching, mentoring, and helping, after a few dark months in the middle of the year.
I am thankful that at my lowest and weakest, renewed life could be found. I am thankful for Wicca. I am thankful for doctors and medicine and science. I am thankful for how my faith and reality go hand in hand. (Getting closer to nature seems to provide more balance and healing and completeness, doesn’t it?) I am thankful for family and friends. I am thankful for you.
Here’s to a better and brighter 2021 for all of us.