Hi All I need some advice. I’ve been asked by a friend to cast a spell for her and her on/off boyfriend, who she loves very much! she wants me to cast one to make him more committed to her, I’m not happy doing this as its messing with someones free will, which I explained to her, I offered to do one which makes her more content without him, or a spell to help her find real love. She’s not interested though, she just wants more commitment from him. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. He is using her and she just can’t see it and doesn’t want to hear it either.
Hi there Linda and welcome to the forum!
My name is Megan and I’m one of the moderators here – nice to meet you!
As for your situation, that’s a tough one to figure out. At the end of the day, if you are the one casting the spell then you are the person that gets to decide what you’re okay with. If you aren’t okay with casting a spell on the boyfriend because it affects his free will then don’t do it. If your friend pressures you to do it anyway? Well, then I would personally rethink that friendship but I know people do crazy things when they’re in love.
Personally, I wouldn’t do the spell. I find it both unethical to force someone to behave in a way that favors another like that. Also, it calls into question the boyfriend’s level of commitment anyway. If she needs magick to make him stay then she should just find a new partner.
Again, at the end of the day it is your decision what to do. Whether you do the commitment spell, bind him so he behaves, or do something completely different (like cast a spell so he shows his true colors anyway) – the choice is yours!
Thank you Megan! And thanks for the welcome I’m so happy to have found this wonderful site , I know its going to be super helpful, I have been trying to work things out on my own for the last year, getting very frustrated and sore eyes from googling everything, but it looks like those days are over now. I think I will have to decline doing this spell.
Hello and Welcome home @linda20
It’s nice to meet you, Linda, I’m Marsha, an eclectic solitary witch, from Colorado.
I have to agree with everything @MeganB said. Personally, I would not do a spell like this, I doubt that it would work for so many different reasons.
Here are a few ideas off the top of my head:
Create a spell for a decision to be made, to either commit to the relationship or to end it.
As Megan said, Cast a spell so he shows his true colors.
Create a Truth Spell for the boyfriend.
Create a spell for the best possible outcome for both, your friend and boyfriend.
I know how hard it can be when someone asks you to do something that you don’t agree with. I am going through this now, and I’m so afraid of losing her friendship, but I have to do what feels right in my heart.
With love and lots of magick always
Hi Marsha, thank you for the welcome and thank you so much for those ideas, they are great! The whole thing has played on my mind for the last week so im very grateful for these suggestions. This forum and site is just the best. So happy i came across it and all you lovely people out there.
Hi @linda20! I’m Amethyst. I don’t have much to say on the subject of boyfriends, for my own reasons, but I do want to say not to let this friend pressure you into something you don’t want to do. That’s not good either, and will possibly mess up any spell you do decide to do. Stick to your guns!
You’re very welcome! I’m happy to welcome you You are definitely not alone – you’ve got a community here to help you when you need thoughts and opinions!
Hi @linda20, I’m in the eastern panhandle of WV. Welcome!
As a male I have another view. Can you imagine what it would be like to be the one the love spell was cast on?
And would she really she really want someone who only loves her because he was magically forced to?
I wouldn’t want those things and I wouldn’t cast the spell.
Maybe she could do some shadow work to examine what it is about her that makes her want someone who is ambivalent to her so much that she would resort to requesting a love spell… but that might be going too far, lol!
I really like this perspective, too thank you for sharing it!
I find that oftentimes the other person’s perspective gets overlooked, so these are good questions to ask when casting spells on someone else. I agree with the shadow work, too. Sometimes it’s got more to do with what we want and what we’re comfortable with than anything else!
Merry meet @linda20
Being at the crossroads between your personal ethics and pressure from a friend is a tough situation to be in- sending love and support your way
I can see you’ve already got some great advice and perspectives from the coven- if I can add in my two cents too, I’d agree that you are right to be very hesitant about casting any spells that mess with free will
→ What if you cast the spell and then her feelings change, or the boyfriend finds out? Like any physical action, magickal action carries the weight of responsibility too. And at the end of the day, it’s the one who casts the spell who has to bear the burden of any results.
But while I’m strongly in the camp of not casting love spells on people against their will, I’m going to play devil’s advocate a bit and offer up one more option you could consider that’s a bit grey in nature: you could tell your friend to cast the love spell herself.
While you have every right to make your choice about the spell, she also has her own decisions to make about the situation- if, after you have explained your personal stance on the issue and the reasoning why, she continues to insist on the spell being cast- she should be the one to shoulder the weight of the spell.
If she does, then the results are on her. If she refuses and continues to insist that you bear the burden for her, well, then that’s a big red flag about the friendship.
Whatever you choose to do, @linda20, I am wishing you all the best! Good luck and blessed be
Ohh, I like this option! It puts the responsibility of the spell on your friend, @linda20, rather than on you yourself!
This might be an aside, but the spells that I have most successfully cast have been the ones directed at changing myself rather than others/the world around me. That might not be true for everyone, maybe it says something about me.
Maybe she could aid you (or vice versa) in writing a spell for you to cast or her (or on herself)? That way the motivation for the necessary mundane action is already in place? Just an idea. I need coffee.
Hi Undomeher, thanks for that perspective, I didn’t really think about that, but you are 100 percent right, I certainly wouldn’t be happy if someone was to do that to me.
Oh wow what a fantastic idea!! That is exactly what I will do. that way Im not telling her no. I will help her as in what ingredients to use, but the rest will be up to her. Thank you so much
I’m really happy if I could help, Linda! From what you’ve said, having her cast the spell seems like an option that could be a win-win for both of you. Good luck and wishing you all the best- blessed be!
Hi there… I agree with @MeganB a spell for her own self love is what I would go for…
All I can say is wow. I love all the different points of view and ideas. I have learned so much, thank you, as I mentioned above I am currently in a similar situation. I think your advice to @linda20 is very good, and I just wanted to let you know you have helped me too!
If I had to choose one thing I love about being here on Spells8 it’s that we can all come together, share our thoughts and opinions, and no one gets angry at another nor judges them! It makes me so happy that we feel comfortable enough to share our honest thoughts – kindly, of course! – and not be afraid of the response we will get.
We all walk our own paths and come from different backgrounds, but while that might cause conflict in some circles, in a loving coven those differences are both a great strength and an invaluable resource for all
I’m really happy if the advice helped you, Marsha, and I’m wishing you all the best with your situation- I hope everything works out between you and your friend!
Three cheers to this!
So true @MeganB… I love that i can also ask questions that may seem silly… But its things that I have’nt quiet figured out yet… In the short time that I have been a part of the beautiful coven I have learned so many things. Every morning I am even doing a short tarot reading, a meditation and even a tea ritual… I never did that before… You guys and spells 8 inspire me…