My Imbolc started in a very symbolic way but all too real, watching the moon set and the sun rise! In other words, no sleep at all this night, making my mind extra all over the place…
I’ve been reading about Brighid and listening to people’s experiences about her, and got the feeling that she’s super strict and that I would have to be really careful with my words not to sign away my freedom and have her take total control of my life! But I also got a feeling that I might be missing some bigger picture here. I was fascinated nonetheless!
Being a perfect day for this, I decided to make an altar to her, offering her some cider and chocolate (who doesn’t like chocolate?) to thank her for the coming light that’s very much welcome. I used a pendulum (for the very first time I might add!) to ask her if it’s okay to take a picture of the altar and she said no, otherwise I’d love to show you!
The tiredness probably made it easier to fall into a kind of trancelike state, but it didn’t make it easier to think in words! I had (have) four candles on the altar, two white and two red… I had a hard time getting them to light up! I had to come up with the words, why I’m approaching her, what do I want, no what do I really want… I can say it was very fulfilling though! One by one I got the candles to burn, and I was kinda starting to get a more personal feel for her method, strict yes but still warm.
Sometimes if I deliberately close my eyes and let go I can enter a kind of half-asleep state, and it definitely gets easier if I’m already very tired. (Just have to watch out slipping into full asleep there! ) I can even feel rapid eye movement when doing it.
I got a feeling that it would be the right thing to do, and when I did I felt like there was a flame right at my center, and it was not uncomfortable, more like ethereal, having a feeling of energy but not burning. It started out about as big as my torso, flickering like flames do, but slowly getting smaller and smaller. I consciously didn’t interject, wanting to see what it would do. It got really small, and I was almost sure it would just fizz out and that would be the end of the show and I’d have to just open my eyes. Instead I was starting to feel something on my back… the fire made its way out of there, slowly forming into wings on my back. I was feeling powerful. But it was gentle power. Not the hungry, passionate kind of fire, but instead warming and comforting. A feeling of self-confidence, the longer lasting kind, the grounded kind. Now I could open my eyes, and take that feeling out into the waking world.
I settled from a tense, laser-focused mindset into a more calm and mindful one. I listened to some music appropriate to the occasion (this one by Lisa Thiel gave me a very warm feeling!) and got some fresh air. After which I was prompted to put on warm socks. I have a lot to process now! Like tiny seeds that will sprout into something beautiful. I’m thoroughly humbled.