This is a very simple yet effective exercise I’ve used and taught over the years to work on negative/challenging emotions; I adapted it for a ritual for a deeper understanding, I hope it will be useful for someone else too. Please note: I strongly advise against doing this unless you are prepared to be honest with yourself and sit with the feelings which arise. Without honesty, it will not work - so be prepared to go where it takes you.
Items required:
3 White candles
Optional: Pen and paper
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Turn on meditation music, unless you prefer silence.
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Take a few moments to ground yourself, then invite and welcome your Deities.
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Light candle number 1, and say this prayer:
“Blessed Spirits, hear my call.
Provide me with guidance, or I may fall.
Help me to see what is buried within,
Help me to feel it, so healing may begin.” -
Identify the negative emotion you wish to address. Be specific - for example, ask yourself am I angry or am I scared? Am I tired or apathetic? If you’re having trouble identifying the emotion, try to imagine the situation when you feel that emotion, or use an emotions wheel.
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Ask yourself why you feel this way. Just like all of the buttons on a scientific calculator, every emotion has a purpose - we just have to figure out what they do and how they work. Every emotion is valid, so identifying why you feel this way is necessary to understand what to do next.
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Decide where this emotion belongs. Maybe you need to feel it and work through it like grief, or maybe it’s reminding you of something, like how you’ll feel if you do or don’t do something. Maybe it’s time to release and replace it, so that you can keep going. If you’ve felt it enough - again, be honest - move to the next step.
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Light the second candle, and take a few moments to really think about this negative emotion - the situation which caused it, how it makes you act, and the ways in which it may be holding you back. If you want, you can write it down and burn it as you say the following:
“I choose to feel this emotion, [name of emotion e.g. fear] is it’s name,
I hid it deep inside of me, because it caused me pain.
I understand it’s purpose now, its lesson lives in me,
I pray the heavens release its hold, and let my soul be free.” -
Light third white candle and say:
“I light this candle in Your presence to represent my aim,
To replace the [negative emotion e.g. fear] with something helpful,
[new emotion e.g. peace] is it’s name.
I don’t ask to erase it, I know it has its place,
I ask for it to let me be; let healing begin with Your grace.” -
Take a few moments to feel your chosen emotion (e.g. peace) filling you from the inside out.
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Thank your Deities for attending and for their continued blessings. When you are ready, end in your own way, for example “With harm to none, this ritual is done.” Then respectfully extinguish candles, or meditate until they burn out. Never leave candles unattended.
Repeat as often as needed, although mixing emotions is not advised; do the work for one emotion before moving on to another. For example, if you do a ritual about fear, it can be repeated as and when necessary; but a ritual about another emotion (e.g. envy) is best conducted at least a week after the last fear ritual; give yourself time to feel and enjoy your chosen emotion!
x Blessed Be x