I REALLY need some guidance!

So I live with my sister, her husband and her two girls. They are 11 and 9. The 11-year-old is extremely close to me always has been and she looks up to me very much so.
I had been keeping it to myself that I was practicing again simply because my sister does not agree with it. But everybody has a freedom of religion, freedom of choice, free will that was God given and to each his own.
So last night my niece came in my room and she saw a paper on my bed that had some basic things about witchcraft printed off on it and she picked it up and asked me “Why does it say witchcraft, are you a witch?” I didn’t want to lie to her so I sat her down shut my bedroom door and I explained to her what was going on because even people at my job have been noticing something with different with me all week and asking me “What was going on with me?”
But ever since I explained everything to her last night I’ve had this very uneasy feeling and feeling like I made the wrong decision by telling her. Not necessarily because I feel like I can’t trust her but just I feel like i’m influencing her so now I feel VERY conflicted because she’s not at an age where she can even make her own decisions. So now I just have this overwhelming impending doom feeling in the pit of my stomach and it’s been REALLY nagging at me since last night after I talked to her and it’s almost like I want to pull away from EVERYTHING and i’m not really sure what’s going on with me…?
I just want this feeling to go away it feels kind of like anxiety, depression and a “bad” feeling. And I guess maybe I’m feeling a little convicted because of the way that I’ve been raised was in Christianity so by doing all of this I’m completely going against everything that I’ve been taught but my fiance grew up the same way I did and now he is neopagan and he tells me that the way that we were raised was nothing more than a “scare tactic” and he encourages me daily to find my own path and if that’s practicing craft then that’s what he wants for me but he always encourages me to find myself and go after the things that I’ve always been afraid to go after because of the way that I was raised because I’ve always been told that if you worship anything outside of Jesus then basically bad things will happen because that’s idolatry and you don’t put other gods before him and I was raised that witchcraft is wrong and that the Bible speaks against it so I’m just having very conflicting feelings and I just need some advice is there like a meditation or something that I could do to get rid of the way that I feel right now or I don’t know I just I don’t like the way I feel at all… I’m feeling EXTREMELY depressed right now like it’s growing as the moment goes.

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I’m sorry you’re feeling so depressed. I’m not sure how to help you because I was having conflicting feelings about Christianity long before I knew paganism was a thing.

I think at the heart of it, is that people do have their own beliefs but as they said in the movie Dogma beliefs are hard to change, it’s easier to change ideas.

I do think you should sit down with your niece and explain that this is something you choose just like when she gets to be an adult she can choose. And that it’s not a shameful thing and she can tell her parents. You’re feeling nervous about coming out of the broom closet I think and that’s a difficult thing to do. You basically outed yourself before you were ready.

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I get it. I’m pretty sure If I told my grandma I just finished my witchcraft initiation course she’d drop dead on the spot. When it comes to devout Christians in your truth Is you should Def lie. Bible kinda had a 0 tolerance policy for the craft

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Yeah, I think that’s what I did too! Because I didn’t feel this way before I told anybody!

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Still in the closet, can’t help you (“you can’t be a witch, you’re a boy! Are you gay?”). But I agree with @Amethyst, that explaining in it a way that helps your niece understand without creating a crisis for your sister is probably the way to go. Sorry I’m not more help. :confused:

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Sounds like she’s young enough to that she prob won’t even remember in a week as long as you don’t bring it up and don’t leave evidence around. If you explain anything to her you’ll just be hitting the refresh button

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I understand you not wanting to lie to your niece. That’s commendable! However, I’m going to come at this from the perspective of a parent. My daughter is almost 9 and she knows what I do, what I believe, etc. If she were to have someone else sit her down and explain their beliefs and practices without me present or my permission, it would definitely make me uneasy. This is because as the teacher of my child, both literally and figuratively, she’s at such a young age that if someone were to tell you that they believe in a place of eternal damnation and you have to be saved to avoid it, she would be scared and not understand. My point is that I have to vet the information that she is given for accuracy, age appropriateness, and understanding. We had an issue when she was about 4 with her daycare telling her (and the other kids) that Christmas is celebrated for Jesus, a man who died for everyone on Earth. She was really confused about everything and explaining that was difficult to a 4 year old.

I know that’s not your intention and you were doing what you thought was right. I can’t tell you if you’re right or wrong and I hope you don’t take my post as such. Maybe it will help you to sit and talk with your sister rather than you niece. You could just be feeling overwhelmed with the possibility that your niece tells your sister before you do.

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Thank you. My sister and i were both raised in Church but she has never taken it seriously. Like, i don’t think ever. I do know if any path, that would be the path that she would choose for her daughter. You would have to understand my sister to understand WHY i told my niece. She gets NO religious guidance and has SO many questions. I did feel at the time i was doing the right thing, but since i told her (and this is going to sound weird) but i feel very uneasy around her. I KNOW how that sounds. But it’s the truth. I don’t know if i made the right decision…i still feel VERY conflicted. I love her very much but i don’t think she understands how serious it is and that it’s not like Harry Potter. I don’t know. I don’t think she will rat me out to her Mom. That’s another thing. Practicing in HER house… :confused:

But see yesterday my sister bought this picture of the different moon phases and at the bottom of it it says LIVE BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON and said “Here. I know you’re into this kinda stuff.” I was shocked and confused and then Friday checking the mail i got a package and she RANDOMLY said “What is that, a wand?” I said “No…why would i have that?” She said “You’ve been acting different lately. Doing weird stuff.” Which everybody at work all week last week kept asking me “What is going on with you?” It got aggravating. I guess people pick up on it.

She also walked into my room while i was setting an alter and she said “Uhhh, what are you doing?” I said blessing my amulet… she said “As long as you aren’t bringing anything into the house…don’t conjure anything please.” But she hasn’t heard me STRAIGHT out admit to practicing again and i am scared to because she changes on a whim. :confused:

Shes one of those people she hears “witchcraft” and thinks THE DEVIL and automatic demon possession. I can’t stand when someone says i am in DIRECT connection with the devil. :angry:

But people can’t understand it…rather i don’t think they want to. It’s like my fiance said “I think it’s GREAT that you are practicing again. The truth is what you are doing is VERY REAL and it’s something BIGGER than you or any of you. You feel drawn BECAUSE it’s WHO you are my love. I would NEVER take that from you. A few are brave enough to explore the world of witchcraft and the Pagan belief system. YOU are one of the few. Christians lock away the truth of witchcraft because it’s something they can NOT control. Christianity is a fear based religion.”

So, idk.

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It sounds like your sister already knows, whether you straight out admit it or not. It also sounds like she’s willing to tolerate it as long as you are not doing anything that forces her to deal with it, you know, like summoning the dead for a loud dance party. I’d would avoid bringing the topic up with your niece. If it comes up again, as Megan said, you need to be open with your sister. Specifically, I would come at it from a place of trying to work out a solution that respects her position as a parent.

Tricky isn’t it, balancing who you can be open with? Every other weekend I dismantle my altars so my daughter won’t discover them (even though she is “drifting witchy”) and create a whole new fresh hell for me to deal with my Ex. Learning when and where and with who to be open about your Craft seems to be a current lesson/task for you.

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Yes my fiance says i should keep to myself right now. He said this time for you is about YOU, you need that website and your sisters and brothers right now more than ever!

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Here’s my opinion. As a recovery Catholic, I was indoctrinated with religion before the AGE OF REASON. Historically, religion has been thrown upon us before the AGE OF REASON which I now believe is abusive and is a huge part of why I choose freedom from religion. That’s just my journey, absolutely no judgement to others, just love! It is mostly universally accepted to wave your religious flag , which if that’s ones journey, than so be it! No judgement. I have nieces and struggled with this subject also. But I remind myself that I never HAD A CHOICE, again, indoctrinated as an infant. I stay completely honest, but sometimes withholding. (I’m atheist also) I dont lie when I’m questioned. I let the parents know that they will always hear my truth. I wont speak badly about their religion or try and persuade them into my beliefs. Little people are incredibly impressionable and intelligent. I believe given the truth and staying honest, as they so deserve and are capable of handling the truth, they’ll have more tools and positive role models to make their own educated decisions when the time comes. I’ve already come out of the closet yeeeeeears ago, mainly to reinforce that LGBTQ are just simply humans deserving of all equal treatment and end the stigma. (People were always shocked due to me "looking " feminine and whatnot and I’ve always used gender neutral terms, they, them, so no one knew gender of my partner). I hope this helps your journey. Stay honest and truth. In the end, I reckon the parents will ultimately "set the tone " of how this unfolds?

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I also feel like the more you “normalize” it, just like the church
was pushed onto us with no questions and before we had a choice, the less reactive people will be? I did this as a lgbtq in the 90’s. I played around with my gender appearance, however, ultimately, people just saw a typical “feminine” gendered female. When they’d find out months into knowing or working with me that my partner was the same sex, it became absolutely no big deal or “threat” because they ended up realizing how basic and "normal " I was. That was my journey into breaking stereotypes of what society thought gay people were, looked like, etc… again, just what worked for me in my journey. It sure can be a long road though. As long as you believe in yourself and try to rid of any shame or guilt about your path, you and your family will thrive and they will realize that their love and acceptance of you is so strong that they wont let this stand in their way of having a fulfilling relationship with you!

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Isn’t it amazing how accepting the world is…
Don’t get me wrong long way from the past but still hard to escape the labels

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I like how your sister set boundaries about the house rules. there are some people who believe that in performing even benign magic, you can inadvertently bring unwanted energies or spirits into the home (e.g., the way some people cast circles of protection first or clear energies). So, it’s fair to set boundaries about it. I agree that any conversation about your practice with the children should be discussed with your sister first, especially since your niece looks up to you. Your sister let you know what is not permissible without saying you couldn’t do any magic at all in her home. It sounds like she wants to give you your space to do your own thing but also wants to be in the loop about any major changes with you. If I am visiting my sister, I am transparent about anything magical I do in the guest bedroom, as a courtesy to her. sssince you don’t have your own place yet, maybe you can do some of the more invoking kind of work (casting, divination or necromancy, for example, if you want to experiment with that) at your fiance’s home or other places, if you think it might not sit well with your sister.

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everyone has the right to his or her opinion but FYI, the world of witchcraft encompasses many relgions. there are Christian, Muslim and Jewish witches on this forum and elsewhere. tolerance goes both ways

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I absolutely do NOT agree with someone being Christian AND practicing witchcraft at the same time
The Bible speaks CLEARLY AGAINST witchcraft you cannot be a Christian and practice witchcraft at the same time, that’s a oxymoron. I’m sorry

If you call yourself a Christian and you practice witchcraft at the same time you’re going against everything the religion of Christianity says.

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Please remember that it is not our place to judge the practice of another. Christianity has a long history of mysticism, even if it isn’t specifically called witchcraft. What one person has discussed and agreed upon with their God(s) is none of our business, nor should we place our opinions on them if we aren’t asked to do so.

Thank you :heart:

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They commented on my post, with their opinion. I simply gave my opinion back.

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I don’t only state MY opinion but I also try to share my knowledge with others. Because I would never want somebody to tell me “No. It’s the way.” But never be able to back it up and leave me in the dark.

So. Here.

Exodus 22:18 “Thou shalt NOT suffer a witch to live.”
Leviticus 19:26 "Ye shall NOT use enchantment, nor observe times.
Leviticus 20:27 "A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.
2 Chronicles 33:6 “He sacrificed his children in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom, practiced divination and witchcraft, sought omens, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did much evil in the eyes of the LORD, arousing his anger.”

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It’s so sad because the people that do not understand what we are doing and our religion all they see because it was in bedded into their heads was evil they don’t understand that it’s not evil I was one of those people until I started reading a Wiccan book and I learned so much. One thing I’d learnt you can’t please everybody just remember to please yourself and let your niece know that you’ll always be there for her and you’ll always love her unconditionally any no differently from when you weren’t practising to now when you are practising your love hasn’t changed

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