Have a situation and I’d definitely like to hear your take on something like this? Personally, am on the fence. I follow the rule to not cast spells for a person unless asked to.
Here is my dilemma, if someone asks me for “help” with a situation, they need “help”, and even maybe throws in “if there is anything/anyway I can help”.
If I feel a spell will be helpful, but I don’t want to tell the person that I do this, would the person asking for help be a form of permission and gives the A OK to perform a spell, but not having to disclose that I’m performing a spell? Or does it have to be more direct?
I would just ask if it would be OK to do a spell for them. If you are afraid they would be ‘put off’, then ask if they would be OK with you praying and lightning some candles for them.
Take it you’re saying to be more direct.
This is definitely tricky. Personally, I draw a distinction between a formal spell and generic well wishing. In this case, I might just get into a calm, grounded state, think of the person and send them positive intent, strength or energy, something like that. That way the person is “in your prayers” or thoughts in a positive way without there being any defined outcome. Even then, I’d be very careful about doing it. Ultimately, there is no clear cut answer here and you will have to decide what is appropriate.
Feel cautious about it too. Suppose being more direct and distinct is ideal. Like that distinction, and am leaning a lot more towards the well wishing, prayer side. But still, at times, a part of me is pushing to do it, and I’m weary about it because I didn’t get explicit permission to do so, and yes need to be careful. Guess my energy level, enthusiasm, wouldn’t even be there if I did perform it, because of being cautious.
Have you done a lot of spells? Could some of this energy be a yearning to practice, sort of like a need to workout? I read somewhere about sigils, and the author said that to avoid creating a sigil and then overpowering the magic by constantly thinking about it, he tried to make a bunch of sigils for different things all at once. In this way, he avoided becoming to focused on one outcome. Perhaps you could use this idea. Maybe you do a ritual, cast a spell or two for yourself, and then include your well wishing for your friend as an add-on to what you’re already doing so that the intent is there but less central, reducing some of the urgency and tension. Just a thought that popped into my head.
With regards to the yearning. This totally registers, it very well a yearning to do spell work more so for myself. As I played this out some more, do need to really focus on my situation and my loose ends, and get back to spellwork. Yes, I’ve been a bit idle with my spell work for a few months now. I cast a Love spell (edit on myself for myself) for New Year’s Eve, and that’s about it. Sigils, that too, it has been months.
For myself, going to start getting back into spellwork more so than I have been, focusing on my loose ends, and I have a good spell in mind too. With regards to the other person’s situation, prayers and wishes, truly wish and pray with all my heart all will be well.
Thank you @Undomeher
The whole mixing it up, it makes sense, first time I heard of this technique, going to try it out, use it. Thank you!
I think this is a question only you can answer. Personal ethics are personal for a reason if it were me, I would be okay with casting for the person who asked for help “in any way I could” because most people know I’m a witch.
I was taught that In this situation, you need to be upfront and outright ask them for permission before you cast a spell for them. You also must explain the basics of the spell and what it may do for them but also explain that even casting a spell it may or may not work. I know this might not sound fair but we all know spells fail or even if they work they may not work as we intend. They need to understand this even if it’s in the most basic way. This is where in the old days some witches were known to keep a ledger of acknowledgment.
You’ve got some great answers here, @Eliza_01! Putting in my two cents, I consider the request for help to be an open door- they have send their request out and I consider that to be sufficient permission for action
However, like Ron, I also distinguish between different levels of spellwork- sending out positive energy and well wishes is a different amount of help than a full spell.
If someone asked for help picking up a dropped item in the store, some might think simply picking up the item is enough. Others might help the person carry it to the register, or even out to their car. How much is “too much help” to the point of overstepping? Depending on the situation, it can be hard to tell
The best way to be sure is just what others have suggested- you can always ask. Making everything clear is the best way to put any worries about crossing ethical lines to rest
You are very kind to help those in need, Eliza- many blessings to you!
The direct approach definitely erases any doubt. I’m there too, with this given situation, especially being that I don’t inform people about my practice (my deal is that I convey and talk to those about my practice with those who practice, no one else outside) I could very well be crossing bounds, because the person doesn’t know to what extent I do things at.
“ I consider the request for help to be an open door- they have send their request out and I consider that to be sufficient permission for action”
I still feel it’s an open door as well. But need to watch not to cross bounds too. Also, this person doesn’t know that I practice (I talk about it and disclose with only those that practice as well). Side note, gave me a bit of a chuckle, with the age old saying, “take care in what one asks for”. Leaving open end requests, to not assume, and it does give way. But being that person doesn’t know that I partake in certain things, I’ll leave it alone. But if the person did like @MeganB point out, then yes do it.
The situation about crossing bounds, that is perfect word to describe this feeling I’m having, is where my hesitation is coming, couldn’t find the word or phrase to describe the feeling, but yes stepping over bounds, hence why the feeling of caution, being cautious, toggling the edge. Personally, if any consequences will come from, even if I truly had no hand in it, but still would hate to wonder and slip into a state of guilt (guilt is a very tough not pleasant feeling) - this will happen if the request is not direct. The burden falls on me, and I’m not taking it. If the person asks directly and there is a consequence, it’s a lot less burdensome to share the “fault” - not that anything would happen, and all will be well, but still when dealing with the unseen.
Much appreciate the excellent and good advice.
Outside of my situation, imo leaving open end requests like that does just that, gives a lot of leeway and permits and open doors, including a direct spell. It’s up to the individual to do it or not.
But personally, I’d rather be asked directly, and pondering on it some more, conclude that I still wouldn’t cast anything for those who don’t practice as well. I will cast only if a fellow practitioner asks, because they do understand better on what’s entailed.
It is my pleasure- I’m glad if my input helped you to reach your decision! You brought up a really great topic, so thank you again for opening up this discussion. It really is a great one to have!
This sounds like a very valid and strong decision to reach- good for you for working through your doubts and coming up with the right answer for you, Eliza!
I would take a limited approach to the question. How well do you know this person? Is there a specific reason or need this person is asking for help? Do they know you are a witch? Have they ever expressed an interest or shown some knowledge of being a witch or are they just in a desperate mode for help. I would offer them my prayers for healing and send positive thoughts to them. If they come back and thank you and start a conversation maybe they have a feeling that you are a witch and are really reaching out to you to learn more of the craft then judge from there.
I wanted to clarify my knowledge only comes from being a Solitary Witch for so long I have borne the burden of pain, sufferings and sorrow and have been an remain very cautious. I have lost Love, Family, Friends, once I opened myself up and became vulnerable. Those that are Your Love, Family or Friends may not be so tomorrow. It is only now that I put myself out there I am very Appreciative of joining this Coven and am Grateful and Blessed Dave
I highly suspect desperate mode, and feel prayers and best intentions is the best route. Being judged, not something I concern myself with. What I do, don’t find it a big deal. It’s just something I do for myself to myself, and I’m going to keep it to myself.
I’m sorry about your hardships, for those who you were close with, to sort of ostracize you it sounds like, it’s sad, but for them more so than you in the long run.