Hi there! I am Water. I have an interesting introduction to give: so TLDR? That’s ok.
I actually feel safe here, even online as there is nothing to point to my actual name so I will be completely honest. I was born into and raised here in Ohio by Romany Gypsy witch immigrants. My father (who left when I was 3 months old) also had a history of Celtic witchcraft in his line. So, I felt a call to this life from when I was very young. I am about as eclectic as you will find in a witch. Random: focused, planning, manifesting, dreaming, weaving and worshipping.
I was severely abused as a child: my mother who had depression and anxiety issues used me to express her insecurities and validate her own personal issues. She was an alcoholic who refused her meds when she heard the voices in her head, put me through a long succession of punishments when things didn’t work out for her and felt justified as she was “making me ready for the world”. I survived.
I fought hard to be accepted by people in school. I persevered and I won, I was accepted, loved and felt comfortable with those friends. But I was also horribly abused in every way you can imagine by my mother and her random list of boyfriends who found their way into our home. I survived.
Back then (55++ years ago) things were different, and bullying was a form of life when you seemed out of place so I worked hard to make sure I “seemed” normal, and that was successful. I graduated early, went into the military and was also successful. I thought it was luck, but it seems now that it was more my intent. I focused, I learned what was acceptable and I was loved and befriended by everyone I met. I thrived.
I married, had children and went on with my life: a secret part of me knew that what was inside me, what I “knew” and manifested when I needed, was the core of my being and would save me in dark times. I “practiced” in my mind: always hiding it, not ashamed, but fearful I would be exposed as a witch and that would be unacceptable to mundane society that refused to see the truth: that our acceptance of what is different and new and outside of the norm makes us the beautiful thing called humanity. We are as different as every plant, animal and earthy vital creation that “God” gave us. I have taught that to my children in every “acceptable” way that society allows. I have even gotten my husband to open his mind after all these years to the beauty of “difference” although he still doesn’t exactly know what I have inside me and how I practice it. That’s ok though, he doesn’t question.
In 2000 I started practicing “semi” openly. I don’t talk about it, I just do it, and there are no questions asked. I speak of things like karma and how I wish no harm on anyone or anything, that balance will win out and when you do wrong, it stains your soul.
It works, through a couple of different jobs, I have been accepted as me: “A little different, maybe a little weird with the crystals, a lot open minded with refusing to judge, etc.” I have become comfortable with that. It’s ok to not be completely understood as being a true witch. It’s opening a door to understanding when someone has trouble and your advice is “pray in whatever manner works the best for you and dig into your soul to find release without wishing harm to anyone.”
Do I still struggle? Every day! Every person who does harm that I see bothers me. I have a singular situation at work where one specific person is so cruel to everyone and it harms them emotionally. I see cruelty on the street and on the news and in the world that I fight to change with my power. But I do not usually take action. Balance is key, and although I know how strong my power is: I cannot use it to change people. They have to change themselves.
Every once in a while, I step in, tweak something to the side of good.
For years I ran an underground online goth radio station and we were very hands on, talking, listening and helping. It was validating, but FCC rules made it too costly to continue. I still have those “friends” on messenger and I revel in that. I made a difference. Even after all my garbage: I mattered.
So that’s me. I am Water (the Waterbearer: H2O, all those jokes about being an Aquarius) and I observe, I love, I protect, and I appreciate.
It’s a pleasure to meet you.
