This is the first I have entered a discussion. I just lost my mom. I took care of her for the last 10 years. She was a very difficult person, but I love her. She was a Christian and as you can see I chose another path. I’m feeling very lost. I own 2 businesses and am very busy. However for years my life has been very much about her. How do I learn to disconnect from all the pain and find myself again? She just passed on Monday so it is very fresh.
Thank you for any insight
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Hello 
and welcome home 
@candace
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how it feels, sadly I lost both of my parents, a few years ago. It’s going to take time to move through your grief and to process your pain. I will keep you in my prayers and send healing to you as your pain heals. We are here for you, Candace, welcome to the family 
I searched 
“grief” and found a few things that might help:
- Loss & Grief Spell Jar
- Farewell Spell
- Wiccan Prayer for Death of a Loved One
- To Those Who Are Gone
- Healing Through Loss
With love 
and magick 
always
Marsha
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Hi Candice welcome to the forum im so glad you reached out. My mother is my best friend I’m 37 and i finally moved out this week I lived for my mother and honestly would of never left her if it wasn’t for unfortunate circumstances in my family. I know you said she was difficult but I find that sometimes the older people get the more difficult they become because it’s harder for them to deal with the things they use too people change has they get older we all do. You have an incredible strength you have two businesses and you loved and took care of your mother the best you could and I know she is proud of you for that. Grieving is a necessary emotion it’s okay to open your heart fill your eyes up and allow yourself to have a healthy cry but you have to know in your heart you did all you could you took care of your mother and she’s in a better place and she would want you to be happy. Nobody can tell you how to grieve but I know your mother is proud of you and I hope you find peace in your heart and know that we are here for you anytime you need us. 
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Welcome to the forum, @candace
I am very sorry for your loss. I think both @marsha & @crystal59 have given you some wonderful advice and places to seek more help in your grief.
Sending you light, peace, and strength 
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Welcome to the coven @candace So sorry for your loss. It looks like you have gotten some great help above with some grieving and moving on ideas.
Sending you strength on your grieving journey. Know we are always here for you.
Blessings
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Sorry for your loss babe. Shadow work and cord cutting. A few cord cuttings can lull the emotions. I love cutting cords
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I’m so sorry lovely. Sending you love and peace 
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Thank you so much for reaching out. I am grateful for the ideas. I will definitely be following through. It is so nice to have the support. Glad to be part of the coven.
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Merry meet @candace,
I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is a difficult journey, but it sounds like you are doing the best you can and are seeking out ways to find respite and healing.
I see the coven has already kindly shared some lovely spell suggestions and advice, so I’m just joining in to send you love and light as you honor your mother’s memory 
Many blessings to you
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
This isn’t a spell, but there is an afterlife. Even in Christianity (when studied in its original translation)… we all go to one place.
She is just on the other side of the veil. There is so much science that proves there is no ending.
All around the world… all developed religions believing there was an afterlife. Everyone cannot be wrong.
I recommend listening to the audiobook or reading “my son and the afterlife” by Elisa Medhus, MD.
I had borrowed it from Libby (at my library).
I think listening will be easier than reading right now.
May you feel peace soon!
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Grief is a long, winding and sometimes bumpy road bit surrounding yourself with love positive thoughts certainly helps to make the journey just a little smoother.
Take care of yourself
Love and prayers sent your way
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I’m so sorry for your loss, @candace. It’s difficult to lose your mother, especially when she was a difficult person herself. You feel guilty I know. Don’t rush the grieving processes. Maybe set up an ancestor altar for her? That might help you remember her.
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@candace I’m so sorry for your loss I lost my mom 4 years ago. I think it might be a good idea to spend some time with yourself. So you can heal and figure out who you are without your mom. Lots of self-care too. Walks in nature, baths, rest, meditation. Maybe a new hobby.
Welcome to the coven 
We’re all here for you for whatever you may need! 
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Welcome to the forum @candace
My name is Megan and I’m one of the moderators here at Spells8 
It’s nice to meet you, though I do wish it were under better circumstances.
I’m so sorry for your loss You’ve gotten some wonderful advice already, so I just want to add that dealing with grief takes time. I know it’s not the most helpful advice, but healing will happen on its own. During that time, you will slowly find yourself again. It won’t be easy, but it will definitely happen
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I am sorry for your loss
it will take you a long time to get over it, but time is the best doctor in grief, they say in Greece
welcome to the family of witches and wizards
feel comfortable here
when you need to talk we are here for you
you have a big hug from me @candace
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It is so nice to hear feedback from like minded people. It’s just so strange. I did everything for her. I keep thinking I need to call and talk her through her blood sugar and insulin, set up her meds, let her dog out. The list of things was endless. I still have so much to figure out. I know some of my family is going to be nasty when they learn that she changed her will because only I was around all the time. She left me a mess, but I am just lost with her departure. But relieved she is no longer suffering and she is with my POPS!
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Hang in there!
It’s not your fault you were the only one there for her.
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I am sorry for your loss. Sending prayers, love and peace.
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My dearest girl,
I am sorry for your loss.
Summary
We aren’t promised ‘easy’ in life, nor do we get it. Although birth and
death are inevitable, it doesn’t have to destroy us. Time doesn’t heal
your wounds. The general theory is it takes about a year to grieve a
loss. Not true. It takes as long as it takes. You did all you could, she’s
moved on. Be kind to yourself.
Don’t believe the movies, the spirits don’t hold grudges.
I lost my mother in 2016 and it was horrible, even though we expected
it, the kneejerk reaction was bad. I hadn’t had time to resolve the pain
between us. the hurt feelings and harsh words. She was gone, just gone.
But when I did my shadow work, I was able to find and acknowledge what
our issues were. She did the best she could. As you, yourself know, life
isn’t easy. Examine her life, what happened to make her the person she was?
Miss Candace, you did nothing wrong. You were a good daughter and
still are.
Your Mom taught you right from wrong. What you do once you’re
grown is your choice, as are the consequences. Hold onto the beliefs
that give you peace. If being here, with us, gives you solace? Then we, as
you are blessed. It isn’t wrong to be different. Whether it’s accepted by
society or not, follow your heart.
I forgave my mother and better still, I forgave myself. You will too.
With love and sincere support.
Blessed be
Garnet
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Hi Candace,
I am humbly sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is hard but its more difficult when its your mother, regardless of how difficult she may have been. You’re going to feel lost, and that’s ok. You’re going to grieve in a way that no one else will, and that is ok. I lost my father 3 years ago & my father in-law last year. It has been a process because I was not close to my dad, I tried, but he didn’t as much. My husband wasn’t close to his father either so we’re both processing our grief in a different manner than our siblings are.
You can try to disconnect from the hurt, pain & sorrow, but numbing yourself is temporary. You will need to process those emotions at some point. You do what you feel is right for you because there is no one size fits all when it comes to grief & loss. My heart is with you and I will keep you in my thoughts/prayers. Take your time but remember most of all to take care of you during this time.
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