Life is going but im not improving😔

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Since i lost my brother on 28th November 2023. I lost myself as well. I couldn’t calm down and have becoming more and more stressful. Finally, i went back my hometown to saw reality by myself it was hard, my brother already gone. Since i confront reality, i decided to become stronger again, tried all of my bests. My work totally fault, im the only one work in my family. I got financial problem actually since frauded my money from scammer i felt i lost my luck. Last week, i heard my dad has liver cancer. No have any treatment for him because he stroked 2 times and too weak to get surgery as doctors said. Now we have only one option that just make him happy during his last journey in this world. I’m tired of all those problems and i want to make myself stronger and improve my inner energy powerful
My questions are :

  1. How i train to improve my spiritual energy?
  2. How can i discipline myself wicca way?
  3. How i know what is going on my life?
  4. All i know is that meditiation to train myself, but how to organize or manage my meditiation process?
    Now im feeling totally down. Sometimes, before deep sleep i talk with my brother, he always told me be strong, find yourself, noone help you, dont search any help from anyone, you can find the way and solve. But sometimes i doubts, is it real my brother talking with me or my imagination.
    Sorry my crazy notes in here. But i believing if someone had similer experience or anything m8ght help me in this group. Wish all the bests everyone :pray:
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@Luna15, I’m so sorry for your loss and the struggles you are going through right now.

It’s a perfectly normal thing to have difficulty in these challenging times, so the first thing you can do is be gentle and kind to yourself about it. Reassure yourself that it’s okay to not be okay. Make some space and time for yourself to grieve and go through these feelings. Even if that means journalling and then crying into a pillow. Do whatever you need to do.

It might help you at this point to enforce a small schedule. Start off small and then grow it over time. For example, start making sure you’re meditating semi-regularly. I know it’s a cliche response, but it’s such a wonderful foundation to have this, that it cannot be ignored.

It will likely feel unnatural at first, like you’re just going through the motions and not genuinely immersed in it. That’s okay. Your heart and mind have a lot to deal with right now. Over time, you will adjust. The important thing, initially, is just that you do the things. The rest will follow. You are journeying at your own pace.

You might also want to get into divination to help prompt you with thoughts to tackle, receive and understand messages being given to you, and so on. You might want to dabble in a few different types of divination because what you connect with more easily right now isn’t something someone else can tell you.

Since you have such a strong connection with your brother, you may even want to set up a small space to honour him. This would be a space you can go to sit, be still, and pay your respects to him.

If you’re comfortable with it, you might also combine the space with some form of ancestral spirit communication. But again, only do this if you’re comfortable with it. And it’s suggested that you don’t do so until you’ve done a bit of self-healing first. Be in a state where you don’t need to hear from him to feel better before diving into this.

As for your father, the groundwork of meditation will also help you stay strong for him. So that you can enjoy these moments on this plane of existence together to their fullest.

I’m sorry I don’t have easier advice for you. But we are all here for you and you are welcome to use this space as you need. A lot of us have lost loved ones and the empty space they leave behind is something that’s difficult to put into words. But we understand.

Much love, to you and your family.

:silver_heart: :black_heart:

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@Luna15 'm sorry my love for everything you’re going through… these are difficult situations… I hope you get up soon… in difficult times meditation helps a lot, reading helps
try to be strong…
it’s great that your brother is visiting you…
those who leave never leave us alone…
he tries to give you strength and comfort
no thinking here is wrong… write as you would write to your family because we are family here
you have a big hug from me
be strong… :hekate_wheel: :revolving_hearts: :revolving_hearts: :revolving_hearts: :revolving_hearts:

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@Luna15 I’m sorry for your pain lovely. You’re in my prayers, may I send warmth and love your way, and know you are never alone. :sparkling_heart:

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Hello @Luna15,

It sounds like things have been very heavy for you lately - I’m so sorry for your loss and what you are going through :people_hugging: :heart:

Grief and hardship are difficult on us mind, body, and soul. While focusing on spirituality can help bring light, answers, and power during troubled times, these periods also require some extra care. I would gently urge you to be extra forgiving and kind to yourself and your own needs as you go through your journey.

Katerina had a great point about making a schedule - I’m seconding that idea! You could design times to focus on meditation, spellwork, or other areas of interest in your practice, and can set aside time for reflection, honoring loved ones, and self-care too. A schedule gives someone more control - it’s a powerful tool :mantelpiece_clock: :sparkles:

While writing this reply, one meditation in particular keeps coming to mind. I hope you don’t mind if I leave it here for you in case it’s helpful:

Wishing all the same to you, Luna - I hope that things improve for you soon and that your path ahead has many happy moments and smiles.

Love and light to you! :candle: :heart:

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Sorry for your loss babe. I’d do some cord cutting between u and other family members not to cut the ties but to lull the emotions and make it more bearable. Set a designated time daily for meditation grounding and journaling. Even if u don’t have time or think u don’t have time follow through. Because that’s often when we need it most. Do something creative, exercise. Hope you find some relief

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Oh my god, i havent expected those replies. All of you are so warm people. Today i cleaned my home & burned up sage all around the home and meditated. I felt more relax and felt my inner energy increase a bit. I havent read all of these replies. I just saw my notifications and read all your comments. They are really touching me. I decided to start meditation every morning and start my work step by step. I know i will struggle during the time or may be give up but i will keep try. Most importantly i will schedule time for me as you adviced. Meditate small by small until i feel confident.
I have a questions are

  1. Is this okay that i had poured river water into bottle and brought to my home to charge my stones. I was think, water has natural strong energy can charge my stones. Lately, i thought, many people was enjoy in water at that time. Was the water keep those people energy? Is this water really can charge my stone?
  2. I built my altar, its small suitcase i keep all of my witches tools inside. I collected them small by small. Now i dont have god & goddess representatives ( should i use tarot card or statues)? Is this important things for witch?
  3. Every day meditation and spelling will improve my skills? How to track myself that im going on right way?
  4. How to control my inner voice, when i meditate, sometimes many different things turn around in my mind. Sometimes, work or remember the conversation that i had someone or something i was forgot long time ago or my plan. OR sometimes very quite, nothing inside but hear voices or noises from outside. But in my mind , nothing to thinks.

I know my sounds like im already crazy. But its really happening to me first time. And im struggling to find the solution. My behaviour becoming too sharp, very aggressive sometimes. Or sometimes, just want to sleep & dont want to get up. This is who iam now…

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,
Luna

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Just journal know that mistakes help us learn. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. With spells set it and forget it. But journal ur journey.

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Inner voice let it run the first ten min if u need to. Then learn to watch the thoughts float past. Don’t focus on them.

Shadow work also… but with shadow take ur time and remember to love ur self give urself credit. Take time to take care of u always :people_hugging:

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Yes. Ok. You did well, listening to your inner inspiration.

This is a question of personal preference. Think about who you work with and what they would like, too.

As with everything in life, practice makes improvements. It is difficult to remember how we were before, so I agree with @Satans_Helper: journal. Write out your questions and experiences for yourself to keep. Reread them every once in a while- maybe once a year. As time goes by, you will see how much you grow, and how much you forget and relearn.

Do not fear the silence inside. It is a good thing. Those times are telling you that your work is done for now: rest well.

Do not fear the voices inside, either. Those voices are asking you to consider other options for growth and healing.

Hearing things no one else can hear and/or seeing things no one else can see is not the definition of insanity. Many people do. Insanity is defined by how you react to those voices and images. I wrote mine down and thought about what to do before acting on them. If you know no one else hears or sees, you are sane enough to get by in life; if you refuse to react without thought, you are stronger than most people.

The more you think about the cause of your actions, the better you can control yourself. When you find yourself being aggressive, stop.

Count to 10.

Think about what is going on around you.

Can you choose to react differently? What outcome do you want? How can you create that other outcome? As a witch, you are learning to create your own life, your own experiences and feelings, and to control yourself in difficult situations. This is a good thing. Refuse to allow others to cause you to react without thinking.

I’m not saying anger is bad. Sometimes we need to show others we are not their rag dolls to play with. Anger means someone has illegally crossed your boundaries. However, there are more constructive ways to react than to lash out in anger. We teach them how to treat us when we take time to think about what is going on, what they are thinking when they act that way, and find ways around automatic reactions.

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@Luna15 I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through :people_hugging: You’ve already gotten some great advice! And you’re not crazy! :blush: If you’re having problems sticking to a schedule you could set an alarm. A soft sound though. You may want to practice gratitude. A prayer or just a list. I usually do it before bed.
You don’t need a god/goddess to pray to. Do what feels right.

As far as your mind wandering during meditation, it’s normal. It will get easier with practice. :blush: You will know it’s working if you start to feel better!

I love that use a suitcase for your altar :heart:

You have all of us here for love and support and you can say anything here! I’m sending you lots of love and healing energy :people_hugging::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::revolving_hearts::dizzy::pray:

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Thank you for all replies and your kindness valuable time. I will try to do my best to find my old me. I was very strict and strong for any situation and always say i will find the solution, always says its easy. Always stand up for my any problems and solved them very smoothly and easy. Im really missing my old self. I start meditation since yesterday and so on going well. Talk with my daugther about mommy gonna be happy and spend time with her like before. She is very exciting, so i won’t let her upset again. My son is only 1.8 months, he dont know whats going on now… i will back very soon and hope i will repost again after rebuilt myself. Wish you all the bests🙏

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We wish the best for you and your family, too. :heartpulse:

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Wishing you all the best too, Luna - sending love, light, and positive energy your way!

Blessed be :heart:

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