"locked" Magick

Merry meet! :purple_heart:
i’m a newbie baby witch and something happened 2 days ago that really stuck with me.

Long story short: I have a friend that is a heretic, and he is also in a Gemini Coven.
He knows that I love Wicca and I self-initiated in it through this beautiful website.

He told me he can tell me what type of magick I have and after the “spell-ritual” thingy that he did, he told me that my Magick or “power”- as he likes to call it, is purple.
Which apparently means that I’m a normal witch - I have both light and dark Magick inside of me.
But my magick is “locked inside my heart”. He said that I locked it in and it’s because the trauma that I’ve been through.
On a psychological level (because I go to therapy) my mind and heart created this protection mechanism that helps me cope with what I’ve been trough and basically makes me emotionally numb for a period of time until I’m strong enough to face what happened. Thus I locked everything inside.

I do a lot of shadow work daily and its really hard, but I know it’s for my highest good.
But he told me a lot of hurtful things while trying to find my type of Magick, like I don’t trust anyone, not even myself or that I don’t love myself etc.

The most hurtful thing that he told me is that everything I’ve studied until now ( he saw my book of shadows with all of my notes about Wicca ) and even Wicca is not real and it’s not Magick.
And that everything that I did until now (like affirmations or protection Wiccan symbols) were not real and didn’t work since my magick is locked… and he can feel where magick is and apparently where I drew the symbols he didn’t feel anything, therefore my home & I are not protected.

The thing is since I started doing affirmations a couple of months ago my life completely changed, but he made me doubt myself now…

He told me to throw all my notes away and to start doing “real witchcraft”.
I even asked him how can I unlock it, but he said that he can’t help me with that.
The situation left me with a lot of self-doubt and doubt in general.
With a lot of pain and guilt because I don’t know how to unlock my Magick and I started to be really angry with myself.

One thing is for sure, I love Wicca and to be Wiccan. For once in my life I feel like home and that I have a family.
But what happened really hurt me and I don’t know why and what to believe anymore.

If you took the time to read everything I’ve written, I thank you so much and I would appreciate so much if you could help me in any way with anything about what happened.

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I’m so sorry this happened to you, @diavoline. It sounds like you’ve faced personal trauma and this “friend” is piling on. While the things they said may be true, I don’t know you do I don’t know, it sounds like they were saying it in a hurtful way and without consideration for where you are on your path.

It isn’t up to others to say if you are doing your magic right or if you are doing what you need to do to reach you highest good. You said you are in therapy. That’s awesome. Let your therapist help you but please don’t let non-professionals tell you how to live. It’s your life.

The thing about magic is it isn’t in only in you. It’s on the crystals, the spells, the ingredients, the candles, the earth, the fire, the water, the wind, etc. We don’t control it. We tap into it. We allow it to run through us as we act as conduits for it. Even if it was somehow “locked” in you, there’s still so much to tap into. If you self-initiated, you are as much a witch as your friend. And Wicca is as real as whatever they practice.

Others on here will tell you similar things and hopefully some will offer guidance to help with feeling like there’s more in the that may be stuck. Please remember you are where you need to be at this point in your life. It’s not for others to judge. Wishing you the best!

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Thank you for this! :pleading_face:

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I am so sorry that someone has hurt you in this way and made you doubt yourself :heart:

I believe that we each feel magic in our own ways - sometimes we have the same experience as others and sometimes it is different.
An easy example could be crystals - some people will feel their power strongly, others won’t feel anything, while others may feel drawn to certain types. Does this mean that their power doesn’t exist because there is a group of people who don’t feel anything?
Similarly with spells and the types of magic we choose to use - while some methods may work for some, they may not work for others but this doesn’t mean that the method is right or wrong.
You say:

which suggests that your magic is working for you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Regarding what this person said about your magic being

I would take this to mean that you could have further, untapped potential which he senses within you. Which is exciting!
I wouldn’t believe that all your magic is ‘locked’ or trapped though - you have seen and felt it already. Do not doubt yourself.
I think to some extent we all have some level of magic hidden away within us which needs to be unlocked.

This is very very familiar to me. I believe time, patience, practice and self-love will be the key for us both!

Don’t allow anyone to take this beautiful feeling away from you. Sending so much love and light :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Love this :raised_hands:t2: :heart:

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I’m so grateful for this. :heart:
Thank you!!!

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I had to pull up my proverbial sleeves for this one. Watch out for my inner mama bear :bear:

So let’s start at the beginning…

Is him being a heretic like, a self-given term? Because heretic just means someone who goes against conventional beliefs. Also, I’m not sure if this is a legit thing your “friend” is in, but Gemini Coven is an idea from a television show called The Vampire Diaries.

This is possible, but not in the way you might think. It is basically like you’ve said. On a psychological level, you have created this coping mechanism to deal with things in your life that might be difficult to deal with. Often, in my experience when it comes to magick and the shadow, this is because you may have had to grow up too fast and your psyche pushed everything “childish” aside, including the belief in magick.

Let’s go over some of the hurtful things he said…

Wicca is not real and it’s not Magick

False. Wicca is a valid religious path just like any other. Magick is real, and since magick is practiced outside of Wicca, this statement makes no sense.

everything that I did until now were not real and didn’t work since my magick is locked

Also false. Your magick can’t be “locked away” like you think. It is always there, working in you and through you, even if you can’t feel it. The way it can be “locked away” is by a lack of belief. If you believe, you do the work, and you feel the intent and energy then you’re okay.

He told me to throw all my notes away and to start doing “real witchcraft”.

I don’t even have words for this statement. What does he mean by “real witchcraft” Ceremmonial magick? Kabbalah? Initiated Wicca? Witchcraft is real regardless of the form it takes.

I started to be really angry with myself…

The only person you need to be angry with here is your so-called friend. This person is completely unsupportive of who you are and what you believe, but also needs to lay off the fiction and quit trying to police another person’s beliefs. Your magick and beliefs are just as valid as anyone else’s, and you’re taking steps in the right direction to make yourself better by understanding yourself (the shadow work).

I’m glad you’ve come here, because you really need to get away from this “friend” and what they’re telling you.

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YASYASYASSSSS! :heart_eyes: I wish there were more heart buttons :joy: :heart:

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Agree 100% with the sentiment wonderfully expressed by everyone in this topic. Great advice! :clap: :clap:

My short version of it: Nobody can tell you what type of witch you are, or what your Magic is, besides yourself.

If it was coming from someone who truly loves you and cares about you (like your mother/father/sibling) then it could be taken as guidance. But from some random person… No-no. Just stay away from them.

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Wow, I can’t even find my words anymore. I’m so happy the things cleared out.
Thank you, mama bear! :smile:

Everyone of you helped me so much, I am so so grateful for you! :heart:

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@diavoline ok so I had someone tell me something similar but the delivery was very different… in a nutshell he did energy work on me and came to some blockages and asked me about them very gently…what I took away from that was that I have insecurities and unresolved issues from my childhood that are contributing to the blockages in my heart. Intentions and manifestations radiate from the heart and since I had work to do I wasn’t really projecting from my heart but from fear and lack. I had asked him why I find it so hard to connect with my higher self and he recommended that I meditate on possible traumas from my past and give the child in me what I think she needs… that’s a little off topic but I think what he ultimately meant was that before I can connect from a place in my heart , I have to work on it. Magick comes from love, gratitude and faith, it should be a by-product of the fulfillment you feel when you commit to your practice. I think you should take the insights that serve you and ignore the judgment y ones. You don’t need those toxic vibrations in your life. There is lots of love here for you girl.

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it’s what I do :rofl: You’re welcome! I hope you can see the beauty in yourself and that he doesn’t need to define you at all :heart:

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@diavoline I doubt I can add anything to the beautiful and thoughtful responses given by @Limeberry @Francisco @Nadialuna @MeganB @praecog29. The only other thing that came into my head when I was reading through your post was that I would have probably reacted the same way you did, BUT I choose not to believe that he has the “exclusive channel” to ‘magic’. When the whole of creation (including YOU!) is made up of the same stardust - It is in EVERYTHING. If his filters block certain vibrations then perhaps it is HE who has limited capacity to feel. Obviously he was not sensitive to your feelings. I would take his assessment with a grain of salt… and open yourself to trusting your own instincts and intentions. You have a good heart and a kind spirit. You are the only one who knows your ‘right’ path, and I will back you up on that anyday!

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