I’m the same. My best poetry and art came out during my most depressed phases. I can’t find the same dark beauty outside of those phases. Although I sure try. 
Perhaps I’m just biased in favour of my own pain. 
I’m the cliche tortured artist stereotype and I enjoy it. 
That’s beautiful. 
she will rejoice and cackle for she has found her archetypal path to liberation.
I don’t know why but that moment feels like a memory.
A dark feminine woman is forged by life through the fires of pain, loss and separation. Her path is to befriend the beast that is her rebel spirit and to understand that she is the only one who can save her from the darkness of her personal abyss.
And that feels like my recent years, too.