Today I made one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make…I had to say goodbye to my beloved sidekick, my bodygauard…my boy…my wee dog Ralph.
I am absolutely devastated. For 10 years, since he was 8 weeks old, he had been a rock in my life, through my difficult times. Unfortunately he was diagnosed with incurable Cancer on Tuesday this week and by early this morning he had deteriorated rapidly.
My one last act of love was to make a decision that ended his pain but has broken my heart. I have asked my wee brother to take care of him for me until the time where he will run towards me, bright eyed and tail wagging once more.
Now I am full of conflict. Guilt, worry if i made the right decision and pure grief. For some it is “just a dog” but for me he was my boy…an embdoiment of pure love in my life.
Please help me to heal from this darkness and the void that will be so hard to fill.
I am so sorry you lost your baby boy. You have my condolences. And don’t let anyone tell you he was “just a dog”, he was you friend and companion and that means something!
He looks to have had a very happy life with you, don’t feel bad about keeping him from struggling and being in pain. Ralph wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. He’d want you to remember the good times he had with you, and all the treats he got out of you!
Sending you much love during this difficult time, my friend.
Thank you. To me he was my rock. The greeting when i got home, the alarm clock in the morning, the comfort when i had a bad day, the unconditional love because he knew nothing else.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, Alan. Our pets have a very special place in our lives and I know it’s devastating when they move on before we do
There’s no instant cure for grief I’m afraid, but I’d encourage you to try to let go of the doubts. You made a very difficult decision with love and the best interests of Ralph at heart. When our dog got too old to walk and was struggling and in a lot of pain, we had to make the same difficult call. It’s hard, but it helps to know they aren’t suffering anymore. They’re at peace.
I’m sure your Ralph is bringing smiles and tail wags to those on the other side while he watches over you alongside your brother
Sending love, light, and warm energy your way as you honor Ralph’s memory and take the time you need to mourn the loss. Big hugs
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how devastating it is to lose a constant companion and friend.
I wish I had magic words to say to make this easier for you, but there aren’t any. I spent three days in bed after my bestest Donut passed over 2 years ago. Grief is expected when you lose one you’ve loved. I went through many steps and stages of acceptance and moving through my loss.
It won’t feel like it now and maybe not for a while, but the biggest sign of your strong and true love was that you made that final decision for him and not for you.
Remember all the times he made you laugh and made you smile. There will be tears, and that’s ok.
@Cosmic_Curiosity - Hi Alan - I’m Feathertip; we haven’t met before. I just wanted to tell you I’ve been exactly where you’re at. My wee pal was a Pug named Odin, and I had to make the same decision simply to help him not suffer anymore.
You had it right when you wrote, “My one last act of love was to make a decision that ended his pain.” Yes - it was an act of love. You did it for him because he needed your help.
These photos are great - what a character! It’s obvious that the two of you are best friends. Now there’s a big hole in your heart. From experience, I can only assure you that it will get a little easier over time. It would be awesome if we could take a giant step to get from fresh grief to the other side where are hearts aren’t so raw - but we can’t.
So - one day at a time. Be good to yourself; deep down you know you made the right decision for Ralph. It just sucks when doing “the right thing” hurts so much.
Take care; stay well. Ralph has probably already met Odin and those two characters are already thick as thieves and up to mischief!
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Alan. Even when know it’s the kindest and most humane thing to do for our fur babies, we torture ourselves with the “what ifs”. Thank you for sharing the wonderful photos of Ralph, who looks like he was the most wonderful character and a great part of your life. May the memories you hold of your time together bring you peace.
As the day has went on, the “what ifs” have been flowing rapidly. So has the guilt for “signing him away” but im trying so hard to see that as an act of love for him because he was suffering and would only have got worse. His love was pure, it was unfiltered and it was unconditional, and Ia hope that he sees my decision as a means of recipricating this.
If anyone one has any siggestions for rituals or spells to banish this guilt, or simply to honour him, I’d be so grateful.
You’re welcome. I know it’s probably a bit early to think about, but you can get a memorial stone or statue for him, to remember him by. Or if you’re into tattoos, do that. There are a lot of options.
I am so sorry Alan, I know how it feels, I lost my best pal a month ago and I feel your pain. I just let it all out and remembered the good times, I took each day as it came. When I was ready I got a plaque made. I talk to him and I know he’s safe running about with my cat that I also lost this year. It’s hard I know. Time is a healer. You made the right choice your his dad you did not want to see him suffer he will always love you you gave him the best life.
We have an altar and we have nice boxes of the cremated remains with pictures on top - It is in our main bedroom and looks like a curio stand. It is sort of like an Ofrenda - the Day of the Dead altar only for las mascotas. It sounds a little weird but we wouldn’t have it any other way. They are always in our heart and the Ofrenda is a comfort. While we were doing this long before we knew of El Dia de las Mascotas, we certainly understand it.
This kind of thing happens to all of us. We are not allowed to leave this earth when we are too ill to continue, so we feel guilty that we did the kind thing to one we care deeply about.
My deepest suggestion is to delve into your feelings. Remember Ralph’s personality, the sense of his Presence in the room. Look that spirit in the eye (use a photo if it makes you feel less strange) and tell him everything in your heart. Use a candle if it helps you feel more like a ritual or sacred space (now more than ever, Ralph can join you in Sacred Space).
Remember that Anubis is the Jackal- headed, who would understand more than anyone the loyalty and care between man and dog. Entrust Ra to carry Ralph on the sun boat across the rainbow bridge.
Ma’at will find Ralph lighter than a feather because you took such good care of Ralph all his life. Remember the play at this time to help Ralph jump around like a puppy (bounciness cannot be weighed because there is nothing on the scales to weigh!).
Envision the pharaoh treatment for your beloved friend: pharaohs become immortal deities who can watch over and take care of their people. You are Ralph’s people. He will take care of you!
Thank you all so much for your words of comfort. I am finding today very hard. Getting up this morning and him not being here, feeding his sister but not him, letting her in from the garden without him being by her side. All the firsts
It broke my heart but they will.serve as lovely mermories. As he was all white, I have bought a white rose bush for my garden. When it has established, I will scatter a small amount of his ashes around it.
While I plan to keep most of the ashes, I will also scatter some in Glencoe, his favourite walking and swimming place.
passed over 2 years ago. Grief is expected when you lose one you’ve loved. I went through many steps and stages of acceptance and moving through my loss.
It’s obvious that the two of you are best friends. Now there’s a big hole in your heart. From experience, I can only assure you that it will get a little easier over time. It would be awesome if we could take a giant step to get from fresh grief to the other side where are hearts aren’t so raw - but we can’t.
and I feel your pain. I just let it all out and remembered the good times, I took each day as it came. When I was ready I got a plaque made. I talk to him and I know he’s safe running about with my cat that I also lost this year. It’s hard I know. Time is a healer. You made the right choice your his dad you did not want to see him suffer he will always love you you gave him the best life.
xx
