Need advice

[gwen]

My wife is christian and anything I do that involves pagan or witchcraft she just doesn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to show her the new altar I made and she is like I don’t want anything to do with it. It makes me feel ashamed of everything I do. I am not trying to shove my beliefs on her but she is very closed minded. I have to hide anything I do with my beliefs so as not to offend her but really it is getting a little old. We have been together for around 21 years. Please if anyone has any advice for me. I am desperate.

[AileyGrey]

I’m so sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with your wife and beliefs. I am Christian… and a witch. I grew up in a devout Catholic home, I graduated from Catholic high school, but I guess I was fortunate enough to have a family that was accepting of other religions and beliefs.

You’re gonna have to talk to her and share your feelings.

When I first started exploring the craft and Christianity and trying to determine if they were compatible for me, I found a lot of similarities between spell work and prayers… lighting candles (huge part of Christianity), and prayer intentions what else is a prayer list but asking for communal energy and intention??). Even The Church honors and respects the environment when we are encouraged to be good stewards… the date for Easter is even calculated by the lunar calendar! there are so many overlaps!

I found the book The Path of a Christian Witxh by Adelina St. Clair to be very helpful. I know you aren’t trying f to convert your wife (and I appreciate that!), but maybe sharing some ways that your two belief systems are similar and compatible might help!

Wishing you so much luck!

[Jeannie1]

Hi there I know how difficult this can be, being married to someone with different beliefs. For me me and my husband used to be a Christian.
Me and him actually met at church but he is a dead head and he has family that are from the mountains and farmers. So he kinda already knew a little bit about metaphysics. Personally I found a Celtic book. I just started you know with a deck of cards before you know it my passion for the craft expanded.
If I were you I would dig in deep and really try to find more perspectives.
Start by watching Jeff Marra he has a podcast that has many different people’s experiences with near death experiences. This can help open up her to other perspectives. Don’t watch the last one by a pagan that turned into a Christian. Watch the others and she will start to ask herself questions about death and see if she can open up to the idea of reincarnation?
This is such a broad topic so
What does she think about astral travel?
What does she think about meditation?
What does she think about mediumship? Jeff marr has a video about a lady that talks with the dead and is able to tap into that relam.
What does she think about communication between the other worlds? Upper, middle and lower?
In the Bible they talk about meditation and prayer! We pray just like Christian’s!
We love music too see if she is open to Lisa Thiel!
See if she had any spiritual programming? How was she raised!? Give her some perspective on spiritual programming!
Just take it really slow okay this doesn’t happen overnight.
Does she like to do dream interpretations?
Does she like symbolism?
Does she love nature? Flowers
Does she like stories? Does she like mythology!?
Does she like incense!
Does she like herbs
Is she open to crystals
I think you’re going to have to be open with her about the small things and pray about it! Ask the God and Goddesses to help you a tune to her vibrations and help you to align with you two through spirit! Maybe pull out a lovers card and ask the universe to do it for you!
Use your powers wisely always say and may it harm none! I think if your passionate about the craft it’s going to be really hard to hide it. I would just be honest with her. You can still dance and play music together! Share music with her that you like and try to educate her about the craft. Most people are not educated enough!That’s what I would do. I know we’re not supposed to push it on anyone! Does she like festivals? Take her to a festival a pagan festival! FYI My husband loves me for me regardless of my beliefs he is here supporting me as much as he can. We do yoga together and we also garden together! We are going Kiaking, hiking and going to the beach so I think if it’s meant to be she will love you because you’re you! I hope that you two work things out. Being together takes work and the relationship must be nurtured like a baby would be! Love and light!
I hope this helped!
Jeannie

[marsha]

@gwen

I was raised in the Christian tradition. As a child, I went to Sunday School and I can remember one specific lesson regarding Miracles. I couldn’t understand why there are lots of Miracles in the bible, but they don’t happen anymore??? Of course, the teacher didn’t have an answer for that either. I’ve always asked the hard questions. . .

I began dabbling with Magic in my teens and saw many things that I couldn’t explain. Through the years, I had visions of Jesus and later Mary Magdeline. I have learned that when a Divine Being (God/Goddess) appears it will be in a form of someone that has meant something to you. If my visions were of a Devil, I would not have accepted the messages I was given. The point of this story is that Miracles still happen! And my question for you is, What is a Miracle? It’s another word for Magick!

When I married my current husband, he thought some of the things I did, such as Astrology was weird! He told me not to mention it to his Mom!!! So, when I told her, she wanted me to do her chart! Well, we have been married for 30+ years, and I quietly practice my craft and I don’t share it with him. He’s always telling me not to buy more Tarot Cards, and I say ok. And my collection continues to grow! I keep telling him he doesn’t need more guns, but he doesn’t listen!!! I never expect him to convert or change his beliefs, it’s ok though, somehow we’ve managed to make it work!

Wishing you the best @gwen Just go slow and be patient.

With love and magick always

[MeganB]

I’m so sorry you’re struggling at home with this, @gwen It can be really difficult when someone we care about doesn’t share our beliefs or, at the very least, take interest in our happiness with those beliefs.

My first piece of advice would be to talk to your wife about how all of this makes you feel. I for one would feel very discouraged and hurt if my partner didn’t take the time to understand or acknowledge the things I do when I want to share them with him. For me, it’s a point of pride – I did this thing and I’m proud of it, so I want to share it! My parent doesn’t practice at all, and his beliefs are very agnostic, but he still takes the time to listen to what I’m saying or look at what I’m showing him. He wasn’t always like this, and it took time and a lot of conversation on my part to make sure he knew how his behavior was affecting me.

I think if you have to hide who you are and what you believe from your partner, that’s starting down a very slippery slope that can lead to unhappiness and resentment. But if your wife doesn’t know exactly how you’re feeling about what’s going on then nothing will change.

I also wouldn’t expect things to change overnight. You both will need to have patience with one another.

No matter what happens, I’m sending you all my love and support and I hope things get better for you and your wife!

[gwen]

Thank you to all who responded and I truly thank you for all the advice that I received. I have started to implement some of the advice given and I think that we are heading down a good path. Again thank you all. Blessed be.

[Mistress_Of_Herbs]

@gwen hey hon i know im late to the party. But i just wanted to give u some advice about what happened with me and my spouse, and btw we have also been together 21 yrs lol. Our biggest thing is communication. Ask your spouse her issues. Explain to her your issues. Obviously she loves u. Even a close minded person can be reasoned with. I was raised Pentacostal and my husband Southern Baptist. Even tho the same christian faith but super different practices. He took some time to come on board with what i can do. He doesnt partake, but he supports me. Ill do things when he isnt home or ill take it outside. But honey please dont hide who u are. Be upfront and honest with your partner. She may request u dont do it in the house. But magik is all around us. U can even do little things in how u cook or clean that will added protection and such.

My husband said the best thing ever, when my dad said i was going to hell. And that u cant suffer a witch to live. My husband stated that “God made magik. Magik is in everything, the air we breathe, and most importantly in love. Also God doesnt make mistakes. He made you exactly as u were supposed to be…PERFECT”

Be proud of who u are. Accept your whole self, and she will too.

Also please always remember we are all here for u. So if u want to show us your spells, etc by all means do. She doesnt have to be part of it, to be part of it.

[Solasta_Amore]

Everyone has already given you lots of invaluable advice my dear @gwen I am here to just tell you very clearly, that I, being 21 years myself and single, am going to face the biggest storm of my life very soon. My father works in another state currently, and he is a proper narcissist and he is as good as a non believer. I have no issue with that, I know that everyone is walking on their own path and really, there’s nothing wrong or right. It is what we percieve, that becomes the reality, but at the end there is love. That’s the sole relaity of this Universe. This I understood or more like felt, after I got extremely depressed and ashamed of me being a wiccan. Of me practicing witchcraft. My mother and sister are now okay with it, but my father still doesn’t know. He is living elsewhere for another 1.5 years. Then, he will come here, and I dunno what’s going to happen after that. I just know one thing, I will NOT be ashamed or hide my magick anymore. Not because a lost person doesn’t understand what’s the meaning of love. Neither his fault, nor my responsibility! I will try to make him understand and if he doesn’t I will simply go on. Never feel low on your beliefs and your heart’s peace my dear. Your wife, one day or the other, is going to know that everyone has their own essence and that cannot be altered. So she will be happy with who you are and so you need to believe in this. That’s all I can say for you and for myself, Blessed Be!