Hi all, so i know this is not an excuse with me recently accepting myself as a Wiccan, but i totally forgot the new moon and what is even worse i forgot it was Lammas here is Australia. I don’t understand, i spend says ahead of the time thinking what i will do only to remember the following day when the celebration has passed. I am feeling like a horrible Wiccan and putting off my Wiccan initiation isn’t helping.
So i guess i am asking does this happen to anyone else, and also any ideas on when i should do the initiation and how?
Thanks 
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Well, here is something you may want to consider. Could it be that there is an underlying reason for your hesitancy? In general, forgetting an event is nothing to be upset about…it happens to everyone. But you’ve mentioned a few items pertaining to Wicca that seems as if you yourself are doubting your decision.
So, try this…or some comfortable variation of this…take two blank sheets of paper. On the top of one write “Wiccan Pros,” and “Wiccan Cons” on the other. Then, honestly, even brutally honestly, list each heart-felt item on its appropriate sheet.
When you’re done, take each sheet and, with your eyes closed, shuffle them. Then, without opening your eyes, fold them both in half, then half again. Open your eyes, and place the sheets somewhere where they won’t be disturbed for 3 days.
Don’t think about Wicca, or anything to do with magic, for those 3 days. Then, at a time related to 3, take those sheets to a quiet place and unfold them carefully. Which page is on top? How does it make you feel? Happy, shocked, sad? Do you still agree with what you wrote? etc.
Even if you don’t ascribe to Wicca itself, there are so many wonderful spiritual and magical arts, as described here on Spells8, for example, that you can ascribe to!
Be gentle to yourself. You’re worth it!
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As a Green Witch or an Eclectic Witch holidays are celebrated when they actually ‘Feel’ right. So maybe you just are not feeling it this week and will next week 
I know you have a lot going on and I really like @Wysteria_Norn idea. It sounds like it would help you.
Blessings to you
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This is a good point! If i was being honest and completely black and white no greys, if i had to do this with both my religions, Islam would have more negative. This is not to say it would defer me from being a Muslim or make me change my mind, but as most things in life such as having a partner, not following through with the life i wanted and the list goes on…, there is more negatives that i can count about me but they are what make me and even though the small positive moments are just small they are make it all worth it!
Now back to Wicca, i honestly do not doubt my decision to admit i am a Wiccan, but it was more i doubted what my previous/current other religion has to say about it which gave me doubt.
If i had to put it on a list the positives of Wiccan would be extremely long and the negatives 
actually i can’t even think of any.
i loved your idea though and will use it when i do feel in doubt about any serious situation, but as for Wicca, i couldn’t be more certain or more happy than i am now.
I think my mental health has a part to play in why i forget and in addition, my busy family life. I will plan things months in advance only to forget it that extremely important day, so i know i care and understand the importance just need to perhaps set a reminder even 
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I was thinking this of myself this morning. So you’re not alone! 
Remember that God and Goddess / Lord and Lady know the intentions of your heart. That is what matters most.
Also, don’t force or rush your initiation. To be honest, initiation is more for a coven setting. In my opinion. In Scott Cunningham’s Wicca book, he says this:
When the Old Ways have become a part of your life and your relationship with with the Goddess and the God is strong, when you have gathered your tools and performed the rites and magic out of joy, you are truly of the spirit and can rightly call yourself “Wiccan.”
(He does say that the tools are there to help, but you can use your mind if you need to.)
He states that initiation is more of a way to formalize your path. You don’t have to do it. Some might say you do. It’s really between you and the Goddess and God.
Another beautiful quote:
When you feel an insurmountable joy in watching the sunset or the moon rise, when you see the Goddess and God in trees marching along mountains or streams meandering through fields, when you feel the pulsating energies of the Earth amidst a noisy city, you have received true initiation and are linked with the ancient powers and ways of deities. Some say, “Only a Wiccan can make a Wiccan.” I say only the Goddess and God can make a Wiccan. Who’s better qualified?
Thanks for bringing this up, as I needed to dig this out and read it again myself, lol. Going through self doubts and imposter syndrome on our paths is normal!
(I often need to remind myself of that too, lol!)
Edit: if you really want to do an initiation, by all means, do! But again, don’t force it or feel guilty if you haven’t yet. Or if you ever do. And you don’t have to do it like the one on Spells8. That’s just one example of many.
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As an eclectic pagan, I don’t prescribe to a set doctrine. I pick and choose what works for me and make my own path.
That being said, I do acknowledge the wheel of the year but how I celebrate each Sabbat is very much “in the moment.” It was Imbolc/ Imbolg here in the States on the 1st. I spent several weeks writing out a ritual, getting all my supplies, making a plan for the day, and planning a special meal. What did I do? Cleaned my house, decluttered, and then sat and watched TV/ movies with my husband. Didn’t even light any candles! We ordered pizza for dinner, lol. I realized that this is what my soul wanted so I let it be.
As for the initiation, if you are hesitate then definitely don’t force yourself. We all have our own paths. My mom had never down an initiation and she’s been practicing for 30+ years. I’ve done my initiation but not my dedication yet. I don’t feel ready so I’m not forcing myself.
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Oh, my darling Khadija
You know what? Life happens and things get away from you. You forget birthdays, dates, heck what day of the week it is. You could write it on a calendar.
I’ve done that… but forgot where I put the calendar.
Your initiation is your choice. Others may have a more specific answer. I haven’t done mine but I’m Pagan and not necessarily Wiccan.
Nothing is written in stone, take your time, and you’ll know when you’re ready.
Garnet
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Not being Wiccan but more “Wiccan-ish,” I have to ask:
Why are you worried about it?
Some devout Wiccans celebrate the wheel of the year and every moon, but many do not celebrate at every opportunity. Does your initiation have to occur on a certain esbat or sabbat? After all, babies are born on every day of the year. We don’t ask them to wait for a certain day! That’s not feeling the flow of nature! A baby witch performing a self initiation would seem no different to me.
As Garnet said, life happens - even to Wiccans. Once initiated, what will be different? Will your life and memory suddenly snap into place? If so, please tell us!
I think it more likely that your life will continue as has been. Learning to accept your life as it is, to accept that you will celebrate sometimes and miss sometimes, and it is okay, might be the bigger lesson here. No one will judge you as harshly as you are judging yourself about this. Wicca and witchcraft should be about peace, not anxiety and judgement.
Just my view.
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Wow small world! I am also currently reading the same book and you couldn’t be more right in my opinion!
I feel the exact same way and lovely quote perfect for this topic! However in saying this, ever since i started my path i was drawn to Wicca even 99% of my practice is Wiccan lead and based upon Wiccan teaching (pick or choose here and here), and going back, i even did the Wiccan initiation that i found here on Spells8 when i first started back in later 2021. I think all along i have know i was Wiccan but i was too afraid of what others would think which i know by now shouldn’t matter so much so that i have to deny who i really am…
I am now happy at where i am at, and will leave it at that. That initiation was was enough for me and as you mentioned “Only Wiccan can make a Wiccan”, so as long as i truly do feel the Goddess and God through nature which i do, then i know for certain now i am on the right path
Thank you so much for this post it truly was what i needed
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This is a lovely look on things. I mean as @Amaris_Bane said, i think our souls and bodies just will ultimately do as they will, and i think sometimes when things get too much, which they do often, maybe it is my brain giving me a break. I won’t lie i still feel guilty but in all honesty appreciating nature almost everyday seems just as good … Would have been great though is i had a field in my backyard and i could have harvested but that ain’t happening in my metro area lol Will at least try to make a nice Bread for Lammas next year here in the Southern Hemi
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You’re very welcome. I needed it too, so I’m glad that you posted and prompted me to look things up again!
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In my ritual for drawing down the Moon is the phrase, “remember that acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.” So you’re right, appreciating is nature is as good. 
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Oh, I understand you so very well! Or I think I do…
For many, their entire life is encapsulated in traditional religion. All our most treasured, or most feared, childhood memories, families, relatives, friends, and even our school and neighborhood communities may all share the same belief. So it can be extremely difficult to branch off into something untried and new under those circumstances! Even feeling like one is betraying our families and ancestors…
But, are we really?
Maybe we are, when all is said and done, striving for the exact same thing but going about it in different ways.
“If it hurt none, do as thou willst!”
Stay true to you!
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I’m not Wiccan anymore, nor was I ever traditionally initiated, but here’s my thoughts on your question.
In our modern world, we have so many things going on at once. We have work. We have school. We have children being raised in single-generation family homes. We have technology and everything competing for our attention. There is only so much time in a day. There are only so many thoughts one person can think, and so many things one person can remember.
There might be underlying reasons for your lack of memory. Maybe you’re stressed by daily life. Maybe you’re afraid of being interrupted and judged by your husband or family. Maybe you’re having second thoughts about how to celebrate. Or may it’s a combination of many different things.
As @amaris_bane said, sometimes we spend all this time planning rituals, spells, and celebrations without any care or thought into what we need in our souls. Sometimes we even forget why we celebrate certain things! And sometimes, if you celebrate like I do, your celebrations last longer than a day and encompass an entire season.
Honestly, there could be so many different reasons that you forget or skip a New Moon, Full Moon, or celebration. We have priorities, and sometimes our home life, families, and career have to take priority over celebrating a holiday on a specific day. It’s unfortunate, but that is the way of the modern world.
Don’t be too hard on yourself - there’s always the next New Moon or next Sabbat!
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I wish there was more time actually i just find i can never do enough of what i need to do in a day
I won’t lie this is one factor i just become so jumpy when i find others disturb me even if i ask kindly for some time…
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It sounds like you need to schedule in some you time. I don’t know how old your kids are, but from one parent to another - sometimes setting healthy boundaries around your time and their time is a good thing. My daughter (she’s 10) knows that if I say I’m gonna do a meditation that she shouldn’t bother me unless she has to or she’s welcome to join in. Now if she joins in, she knows there are ground rules for my meditations such as quiet time. She’s free to move around and stretch and stuff but she’s gotta be quiet.
I think it’s a good thing for kids to learn that their parents are people too, and just like all people, parents need time to themselves, too
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I think with the two older ones (12 & q) this can be achieved, however the 8 year old and 5 year old is a little harder. I agree boundaries are important and I think because their father doesn’t even know boundaries exist (he does just doesn’t abide by them) the kids use that as an influence therefore they think it is okay.
I also think timing is key. I am thinking to perhaps wake up at 6am instead of 7am for school runs and start with meditation etc. That would really help me I feel, however being a mum I get to bed between 11-12 even though I start to get ready for bed at 10-10:30 (chores are never ending!), then wake up 4:30-5am to pray therefore will get around 5 hours sleep if I am lucky…
I guess I need to meditate on this too lol☺️
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Yes, boundaries can be difficult to enforce, but ultimately that’s probably what needs to happen for a healthy relationship between everyone in the house
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you can get some time to yourself.
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Awesome suggestion!!!
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