I have a quick question about a substitution for this spell.
What can I use as a substitution for a family member’s strand of hair? She lives in another state. There is no way I can get a strand of her hair.
My older half-sibling (who I only discovered existed in 2020) is furious with me for a complete misunderstanding the week her adoptive father died and believes I abandoned her when she needed me most. I didn’t mean to make her feel this way…but, I did. I’ve tried apologizing in every way I can think of, but she can’t (or won’t) let go of her anger, think about forgiving me, or speak to me at all.
I tried a sugar jar to sweeten our relationship a few months ago, but just it leaked and did nothing else.
I just want to try to repair the damage between us, or at least make it bearable for my own broken heart.
I’ll happily look at any advice.
Thanks for the help!
I’ve got two answers for you, one for the spell and one just some general situational advice if you’d like it.
First, the reason for the hair is to create what’s called a taglock, a way to link the spell to the person (or people) involved. In this case since you don’t have that hair, you can adjust the spell to what you do have. At the end of this spell, everything goes into a bag, right? So what you could do instead is write the names of the people involved, in this case I’m assuming it is you and this other family member, on separate small pieces of paper. Then you can take the thread and wind it around the paper, including the root that would have the braid wrapped around it in the original spell. Then just follow the rest of the instructions.
As for just regular advice, I don’t know how long ago this happened for you but sometimes, no matter what we do, the other person will never be open to forgiving us and moving on. I have experienced something similar myself and, no matter how much I tried to explain my perspective, apologize for any misunderstanding, and ask for forgiveness, the other person just wasn’t having it. As hard as that is, sometimes we just have to learn to live with that. Also, sometimes what the other person needs is just time and space to heal on their own. It sounds like you’re coming at this from the perspective of your own healing since you said you’d like to repair the damage between you two or make it bearable for your own broken heart. It might be more beneficial to switch perspectives and look at it from the perspective of healing the other person’s hurt and anger rather than your own.
I appreciate your help!
I do agree about the taglock, and that’s why it’s so frustrating, seeing I wouldn’t be able to do it like I normally would.
This happened a couple of months ago and I have tried to look at this situation from every different angle and come up empty every time I do it. (As a retired police detective, this way of thinking comes naturally.) Its probably my ego getting in the way… The last thing I said to her was that I would always love her, but if she needed me to walk away for her to be happy, that is exactly what I would do for her.
Because of that, I’m really conflicted about trying the spell to see if it will make a difference. I know that trying to enforce my desires on another person isn’t kind, but I also really want to try a last stitch effort to repair it.
I’ll meditate on it today before I do anything. Thanks again!
@Lawpupk9 ~ Hi! I fully agree with what Megan said here. I also thought about how perfect and timely your question was to the Daily Affirmation🌜
We’ve all been in that space where we feel such a deep need to make things happen that we unintentionally try to “force” things. It’s human nature. What happens is that we choke the energy without realizing it and cut off the healing flow. From what you said here:
it shows your innate understanding of this and what I refer to as “heart knowledge.” When our pain gets in the way, we act on sheer will and ignore our hearts’ messages. Clearly, she means a lot to you, and my heart goes out to you. If it feels right to you, maybe you could look into what this situation is triggering in you and where the fear is (because there’s always fear involved when we’re fixed on a particular outcome) and do a loving self-care ritual for yourself. If you let the situation breathe, I think you will find the karmic lessons and growth seeking you here. I hope this helps.
Oh, definitely! Thank you so much for the reminder!
I know exactly where my fear comes from - abandonment. I’ve been working on my abandonment issues for quite a while now but somehow this feels different.
I always knew growing up that there was supposed to be more in my life, but I didn’t know what it was until she found me on a genealogy website by accident last year. (Cellular memory is really a thing I didn’t know about until we connected.) I thought we connected on a heart level and a soul level. I was obviously wrong, if one misstep on my part caused her to feel this way about me.
I guess I’m just gonna think about this some more before I do anything I do anything one way or another. sigh
Yes, I thought it might be a fear of abandoment because every human being has that issue whether they admit it or not. I applaud you for admitting it, because it’s not always easy to stare at painful things in this face and state what they are. And, I totally agree with cellular memory! For what it’s worth, I think it’s likely that it also triggered abandonment issues in her. If she didn’t care so much it would be a nonissue. There appears to be deep hurt there. It’s even possible that she is unconsciously “testing” you to see if you will stick around no matter what. That’s where giving her the space to heal and letting her know that you’ll still be there when she’s ready would probably resolve things for the highest good of both of you. Just my opinion. Hugs to you.
I feel the same. Today’s Affirmation was in tune with a few posts today, including my own. I wrote it down so I can keep it.
I agree with you about the abandonment and when her adoptive father died, I’m sure it compounded those feelings. My heart breaks for her, too.
I really appreciate you taking the time to give me the reality check I needed with all this.
I think I’m just going to work on me, instead of pushing anything else. I can only control me and what I do.
No problem! And, I’m so glad you found it helpful.