That’s quite the key point. I think there’s a term for it, but I can’t think of it right now. It’s a difference between having a personal moral code and simply using the rules in place of one, if that makes sense.
Your daughter is young and hasn’t had years of thinking about philosophy behind her, I assume. She hasn’t debated the trolley problem for days worth of hours like I have with my partner, so I can understand this being confusing for her. Especially as my ASD makes needless adherence to structure likely. But she has all the time to grow into her own worldview and an amazing mother to support her.
Gosh, I know people in their 30s who still haven’t learnt the difference between morals and rules. They’re the exception, but it does indicate that it might take some time for some. I used to be afraid of responsibility, so it took me a while to figure out what I believed, too.
I’ve almost always been the last person to care about following rules, though. Nor am I likely to report someone for doing something illegal. Since I grew up though, it’s been less about getting authorities involved about rules and more about looking out for each other’s safety, I think. So, your example using potential harm fits in perfectly. Especially considering all the dangerous things that have happened in our lives…
Anyway, all those words just to say that I like your example and your daughter is cute.
Yeah, that makes sense to me. It’s like… I don’t know. My therapist didn’t like my opinion on that too much because she said if there’s an issue, and I can tell there’s an issue, then maybe I should say something to help resolve the problem. My thoughts, though, were that I’ve known that person for years, at this point, and if she doesn’t want to bring something up then that’s on her. We were great friends and then something happened, and then we weren’t. Long story, but that’s the basics of it. I point-blank told my therapist that it’s not my responsibility to read between the lines of someone’s behavior; if she wanted to say something to me, she would have.
haha yes, that’s correct. She’s almost 11, but her and I are very similar. I’m self-diagnosed ASD (getting a diagnosis for me isn’t feasible right now) and my child has an appointment next week for her ADOS. Her rule-following is very much a black-and-white literal thinking thing, so discussing nuance with her at her age is a constant conversation she doesn’t quite understand, but she always asks when she has questions, and that’s all I can ask of her right now.
I think for her, it’s more about trying to figure out social structure and hierarchy. To her, rules are in place for a reason, and when we’re out and about, everyone is expected to follow those rules. When we’re at home, she knows she has the ability to question the rules and things that we ask or tell her to do - that’s how we’ve raised her. Question authority when safe to do so, and if she can give me a good enough argument against something, then it’s my responsibility to rethink what I’m asking of her! Now, if only those conversations would translate into other real-life situations… but she also has severe anxiety, so all of her mental systems are fighting against her.
haha thank you, I think so, too!
It looks like you are doing a good job raising your daughter. Congratulations. It’s not an easy job. I chose not to take on that kind of work because I wasn’t trained well.
Yet raising a bird is a lot like raising a child. Albus understands me a lot better than I understand him. This morning, he made it abundantly clear that he wanted the candles extinguished at the end of our Quarters CD, even though I let them burn out every other day. Yesterday, he wanted me to cast in the afternoon, when I usually work in the mornings. I hadn’t worked because I had cleaning work to get to. After yesterday’s casting, I was protected when a neighbor tried to convert me. Sometimes, it is good to listen.
Yup, I replied to a completely different conversation here with my reply just blame my tired brain lol
Thank you very much, @georgia I appreciate that! I do try very hard – I don’t always get it right, but my heart is definitely in the right place.
It absolutely is!
I didn’t even notice, either. It’s only 11 am and my brain must already be tired, too.
lol maybe we’re just on the same wavelength and know what the heck each of us means
Definitely the wavelength!
I just found a new to me site which contains advice I haven’t seen before. Does it resonate with anyone else?
The site has a mix of paid and free material. I am focused on the free lessons at this time. When I signed up for a quiz to see if I was empathic, an email was sent to me which led here and to two other videos I’m looking forward to watching. There’s more to empathy than protecting oneself.
Oh there is so much more than protecting oneself for sure! It’s quite a bit to manage, especially if it wasn’t necessarily managed well before, (in my case anyway) because I didn’t know it was a thing or that it could be managed without just blocking out everything & everyone. More like shutting down or off I suppose for a very long time.
Another 1 I’ll have to bookmark & take a peek at
→ Loner Wolf - Luna & Sol is another site for information also if you haven’t come across it before
Hmmm… is there an Empath Masterpost already? I’m pretty sure there have been quite a few threads here already that could be nicely bundled together
My mother said she was an empath when I was in high school. Problem was she chose to overdo it, like some drama queen, making my temporary yet immediate feelings seem like the end of the world. I dismissed her claim and the ability in general because when I needed someone to be there and just listen, I felt I was being made fun of.
Now that I am experiencing symptoms of this … thing, I don’t know what to do with myself. It scares me that I’m behaving like my mother. I’m glad so many people here are empaths, so I can learn from them.
Thank you all!
I don’t believe there is an Empath Matserpost yet, but I agree- it’s a popular subject and would be nice to have them all in one spot!
(If you wanted to make one I won’t steal your thunder, Celestia! If not, let me know and I can put one together )
Oh, I’d love to!
There’s no category or tag for masterposts yet? That could be helpful for finding them better
Yes, it would! That’s a great idea.
It’s a work of art! Thank you so much for creating the Empath masterpost, Celestia!
Agreed, and done!
Happy birthday to the brand new masterpost tag- may it be a good house for all of the helpful masterposts of the forum!
Yay, I’m happy that I could create and inspire something that was very much needed
I don’t think there’s a masterpost for chakras and energy work? At least I couldn’t find one when I was looking. It’s kind of a passion for me, so I’d be happy to make one, but if someone else wants to they’re welcome too
@CelestiaMoon there is one, at the time I hadn’t added Masterpost to the title. I did get it added to the Empath post for you & the Human Design Energy Work post!