Self forgiveness and ?’s

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. How do you clear your mind? When you do something unintentionally that hurts someone and you carry that guilt. If you’ve apologized sincerely and know there is nothing else left to say or do but you still carry that guilt and play over the “if only I did or didn’t do this”.
It’s one thing to let go of things in which others bring negative to us, but when we are in the wrong, we must forgive ourselves as well.
I am new to this lifestyle and I will say natural healing and living from the basics has really pulled me in this direction. I am not a chanter. I look at spells and such and I can’t bring myself to say words… it’s silly to me. I can feel emotions with smells and light candles to focus but I start giggling at myself at saying words.
Which kinda has had me also thinking, I don’t believe in a god. I have known this for a while. I have gone to many good and not so good churches and (well obviously I’m here now) I still can’t bring myself to an acceptance to a god or gods. I can respect and thank plants and nature for giving me food, I can talk to nature and compliment it. Saying nature seems acceptable to me and relaxing but if I were to put a name to it I cringe. :grimacing:
It’s 3am here and I can’t sleep thinking about all this :upside_down_face: but I’m going to add one more question not related to the above.
I know I’m an empath and can feel people’s emotions around me, which affects me emotionally. Every couple of months, I will play these “stories” in my head. I used to think I was having some issues (I work in mental health and looked at all my symptoms closely) and I would brush it off. I realized it was more this last year. I couldn’t shake off that “I” had cancer. I had this in my head while awake, usually driving, and it’s always me that has the things wrong. The last time was that “I” had cancer. I could see that I needed to see a doctor and that I had some kind of ovarian cancer. I was scared and didn’t want to die. This “story” went on for a couple weeks when I found out a coworker was having testing done due to a positive lump in her uterus. This was just this last summer. Looking back, I can relate my stories to numerous people that I barely knew which had these things happen. Is this something an empath has or am I just really imaginative and it was a coincidence? I’m definitely not Sylvia Browne.
Ok, I think I’m done. Have a great day. Stay healthy.

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First of all, yes I’ve held a grudge for over a decade. And it sometimes eats at me. I’ve apologized to this person. They didn’t reply. So, I did my part and I did all that I could do. I’m over it now and I feel like a weight lifted. I should have done this year’s ago! But we’re all different!!

It’s possible that because you’re an empath, that you felt others feelings. It happens to me. I realized this at a young age. My older brother played little league baseball and I felt like I got hit in the head so hard that I was dizzy and seeing colors. When my brother called, he was in the hospital because he was hit in the head from a baseball! He was knocked out cold. The game didn’t even start yet and these other teammates were practicing and hit my brother stone cold!

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I do the same. I tell myself there is nothing else I can do and it’s over but struggle to keep that in my lil brain. I know over time it will dissipate and everything will move foward. The in the moments are always the hardest.
And having a 10 year old rolling in his sleep and kicking you makes you stay up and ponder these things :hugs: He hasn’t been feeling good, so he needed snuggles.

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I think it’s perfectly normal to hold on to those feelings of guilt, especially if we find it hard to forgive ourselves! As for not believing in a deity, that’s perfectly fine, too :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: You’re on the path that you need right now, and even if you can’t bring yourself to say spells aloud (I still struggle with that sometimes, too), you know in your heart where you are and what you need, and that’s what’s important.

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