A Little Background: September 11th
So before September 11, 2001, I had an important event happen on September 11th that I celebrated every year. I won’t go into too much detail. Let’s just say it was a coming of age of sorts. Then 2001 happened. On that day, I was up early, unable to sleep. I was pregnant with my first child, and my husband had just come home from work and gone to bed when the first plane hit. I tried to wake him up, but he was too tired, and I spent that horrible day alone.
July 2009
My husband almost died. He went into the hospital with severe ketoacidosis. Once there, he fell into a diabetic coma. While in the coma, he had a stroke, and none of the hospital staff thought he would ever make it out alive. Ten hours later, he came out of the coma, but the brain damage he suffered had a lasting effect. Most people can’t tell because he was so smart before that the brain damage kinda made him average, but he struggles - a lot. And afterwards, he had a lot of trouble keeping his blood sugar under control. So he wasn’t as smart as he used to be had some physical disabilities he had to overcome due to the stroke. The hospital didn’t list him having a stroke because it was due to their negligence in the ER. So he knew he couldn’t provide for his family anymore, and I had to get a job. So his whole identity changed. He had to stay home with the kids, and he’s not good with kids. And he became an angry asshole ALL THE TIME! But I felt a sense of obligation because I helped him pull through the coma. I talked to him the whole time about everything they were doing to him. I reminded him of miracles we had heard about or read about together. And he told me that he wished I had just let him die.
June 2010
My ex reached out to me for the first time in 16 years. I honestly thought he dead. But there he was on Facebook dm-ing me and saying he thought we used to be friends. I replied we used to be more than that. And we were talking. I shared with him what my family was going through, and he told me what he had gone through in the past 16 years. The whole thing was on the up-and-up. I told my husband all about it. It was just nice to have someone to talk to, and we picked up the friendship side of our relationship like nothing bad had ever happened. Regardless, my husband was jealous and angry. He said some really mean and hurtful things to me during that time that truly broke my heart. And then my ex started showing his true self again, the self that I had never liked and led us to break up in the first place. Let’s just say, he’s narrow-minded, homophobic, transphobic, racist, and a judgmental Christain. I found I could no longer talk to him without having to hear him say the n-word or how certain people were ruining the country. And it’s no surprise that he later became a Trump supporter.
Last Night:
I did a spell. It was September 11, and I was feeling pretty sad. I no longer celebrate. Who could? It’s a terrible day of remembrance. While the event was amazing, the person was awful. So I did a cord-cutting spell. I spent some time in meditation to talk to him and tell him why our energies had to be separated. Then I cut the cord, letting the end that represented him fall away from me. I took the end that represented me and tied it around my wrist to try to recapture my own self and keep it close. I took the end that represented him and burned it. And boy did it burn. It was a cotton cord, but it went up in flames like flash paper. I was glad I was using tongs! And during the whole thing, the candle burned bright and strong, even while I was meditating. It hardly flickered at all, and there was a fan blowing not too far away. I’ve never seen a spell burn that fast! I then listened to a heart-healing meditation while I slept.
Any insights are welcome.
TL;DR: I did a cord-cutting spell to separate my energy from that of an ex who I shared something special with on September 11, 1993. After cutting the cord, I burned his half. I’ve never seen a cotton cord flame up like flash paper. What do you think it means?
