Hello, I’m seeking some guidance. On May 9th I got an oracle reading done at a witches market. I was told that my spirit guides have been trying to reach out, but they are annoyed that I have been ignoring their very obvious signs. I left feeling fairly confident that she was indeed talking about my grandma who passed in 2018. Her and I were very close and the last month and a half I have been thinking about her a lot, seeing lots of cardinals (her favourite bird) and even hearing the very distinct sing song way she would say “hello” when she answered the phone. All not very subtle signs. However when I try to reach out via tarot or meditation, I keep getting answers that would make no sense coming from her. I have tried a few different spreads I have found online and every card that would be representative of her gives me a card that is vastly different from how she was. I’ve been having a feeling the last week or so that it’s not just my grandma trying to reach out, but I’m at a loss of trying to figure it out. I’ve been seeing lots of other things too like finding old keys everywhere, seeing rabbits constantly, I was given carnelian and Jasper by multiple people in a short period of time, my daily tarot cards all seem to be wands , cups and I’ve been seeing the high priestess a lot,my cat has been glued to me more than normal, etc.
I did try doing the Deity tarot card spread (about a week apart) and got vastly different answers. The first time all signs pointed to Hekate, but upon meditating it didn’t feel right. I did the spread a second time Sunday evening and all signs pointed to Brigid. This could make sense as my grandma was Irish and very proud of that fact and was always passing on her love of her heritage. I’ve also felt drawn to Bast, but for no particular reason.
For some context I’ve been struggling a lot with my home life (trying to find myself again after becoming a mom 3 years ago, and trying to regain control of the chaos that is my house after being diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago), and I have been really trying to reconnect with myself on this path.
I know I don’t need to work with anyone, but I just can’t help but shake the feeling that there is more and I just can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s nothing?