Hmmm then our little moths have no idea what they’re doing because they are all over our neighborhood’s porch lights
Every year they flock to the porch lights regardless of who is out there. They will be in layers on the fronts of our houses (It actually used to look icky to me having so many on the houses & around the lights) I think my neighbor calls them Winter moths I never had connected them to anything else or thought to anyway.
There was a little Monarch-ish Butterfly with me today when I was working on my Dahlia tubers in pots on my back porch.
I always attributed butterflies, dragonflies, & cardinals to passed loved ones when they hang around me or repeatedly visit when I’m outside.
We have the same problem, my first line of defense is ‘Grandma Magic’. Used coffee grounds outside along the base of your house, or as much as you have access to. I live on the 3rd floor of a locked building so the only edge so to speak that we have access to is our back door
Then inside put salt all the way around all windows and doors. Personally I put out a lot the first time and sweep and replace it after maybe a week
Thank you, I think I’m starting to find my strength
I’m starting to think I can believe that.
Not sure where I heard this or if I’m quoting this right but it feels about right “That’s okay, I’ll believe it enough for both of us until you start to believe it”
I think I should have listened a little more to @jan_TheGreenWitch I think you may be more right than I thought. Maybe I just didn’t want to think you were right?
Part 1
I told my friend to just keep the money when she gets it because she needs it and that I’m not making them anymore.
I want to just be done with her but it’s so complicated. She has done so much for me and my son and granddaughter. She was part of my old life and my 4 little ones (they’re not so little anymore) that I hid from my ex husband. When the youngest was a born I had been pregnant, breastfeeding or both for 6 years and I decided it would be best for everyone if I went back on medication and feed him formula. He was born a little early and small and wasn’t gaining weight so started breastfeeding him and he thrived.
She’s the kind of person who will do anything and everything for you while stabbing you in the back. I love her kids so much, honestly probably more than she does.
And her mother who lives with her, I don’t know where I’d be without her help and influence. I know things she’s done that she doesn’t know that I know about and I know they’re are things she’s done that I have no idea about. I had my wedding on her birthday, per her request, 13 days after my now husband finally proposed. We’ve been saying that her battle is nearing it’s end for I don’t know how long now and it seemed like a small thing to do for her. She’s stopped treatment and is going on pure stubbornness at this point. I’m convinced she’ll outlive us all.
I like the idea of one big family thing she says we are and my 4 year old is ridiculously attached to her and all 6 of hers to me.
I don’t think I can just walk away but I am limiting contact and energy and eliminating any situation that gives her control
Part 2
My ex-husband was finally sentenced and is back in jail. The judge got sick of seeing him and sentenced him to 3 years and 3 months. The next day I pull Justice and the next day Transition/Death.
I find myself at a fork in the road. If I take the other path it would be pretty much the dumbest decision anyone could make and would basically destroy my life. I want to so bad and I am literally fighting myself not to. I don’t know how I could even be considering it. It’s like I’m literally split in two arguing with myself. I don’t want to want to do it and I’m terrified that I will
Hey, you’re not crazy! Maybe the white butterflies are working differently for you. I’m sorry, those sound like bad things, but then there’s this thought, maybe the surgery was going to help keep you well? I know surgery’s not the greatest thing but in a way, lucky, because a health condition was detected in time? I don’t know about the friend thing – but you know, ill wind that doesn’t blow any good. If you end up losing a friend who’s taking advantage of you, that gives you more space for a good friend. But I hope both situations work out for you, it does sound stressful. White butterflies, give her a break!
Shit my whole life is stressful. I need to figure out how to change that. My husband and I were just talking about one way.
Yes, that’s the goal. Without mishaps, my Aunt suffered a mishap from similar surgery if I need the more intense one, it will hopefully fix at the least one problem. Then I can get back to figuring out the rest. I can only push so many Doctor’s at once
That sums that, and another situation perfectly
Maybe they’ll listen to you, they’re not listening to me
For some reason my ex-husband finally being in jail where he belongs prompted me to start doing a daily Tarot card. Day 1 Justice, Day 2 Transition/Death, Day 3 inverted IV Swords and today The High Priestess
Hmmm
@Nixi - you have a lot of balls in the air and many things are extremely significantly impacting your daily life, choices, health, mood and activities — I know I’m stating the obvious (captain obvious here), but stop and think about that. Nobody can handle so much for so long and keep all your shit together… you must take care of yourself and prioritize what is going on in your life so that you can be present for others… whatever that voice in your gut in saying about the white butterfly, and about your Tarot, and about your friend, and her mother, and your ex… write them down and think about it. Prioritize your thoughts. Write out your possibilities and actions and give it 3 days to meditate and choose a direction you feel good about. And… if you can’t come to terms with how you feel about one area of your life, just table it and handle what you can today, and continue to meditate and journal and question the cards about the open ended items. Don’t boil the ocean. It won’t work. You will thrive if you just give yourself a fighting chance.
With hugs, light and love, Jan
PS…. Sorry I’m being a mother hen… I hope you forgive me and my nature for that.
@Nixi Can’t say anymore than what @jan_TheGreenWitch said. Love you my dear sister in the craft. Vent, lean on us here. I can’t do much across the pond, but I think of you daily.
(It actually used to look icky to me having so many on the houses & around the lights) I think my neighbor calls them Winter moths 
I never had connected them to anything else or thought to anyway. 
with me today when I was working on my Dahlia tubers in pots on my back porch. 
and that I’m not making them anymore.
