Have any of you attempted… I’m not even sure really what the best way is to phrase it… As I stated when I updated my requests in the Energy Exchange Circle - 2021 Wiki My mother in law has liver failure and had been placed on the transplant list due to cancer but we found out yesterday that it’s spread to her brain. She took her first treatment today I think and mostly from what I understand they are keeping her sedated. My whole family (except possibly me but if y’all only knew our relationship you wouldn’t blame me) is hurting but I am devastated by the fact that my husband is taking it the hardest and i can’t be there to comfort and hug all the pieces back together and to make it worse I have never been good at being comforting and appear cold when other people are hot with the grief of losing someone they love. (Which is strange because I seclude myself so that others’emotions don’t drain me too bad any other time) whenever someone I love loses someone they care about somehow I go stone cold logic and pillar of strength for their sake. Well my husband hasn’t ever seen me like this because it’s not happened to him until now and it’s making my already too heavy stress load on the marriage worse because he thinks I just don’t care because of the mutual feeling his mother and I share for each other. And his pain is keeping him from hearing me explain my demeanor and he’s lashing out. So I was thinking about trying to transverse a message or at least try to paint a vivid dream for him that even if it’s just in his dreams that I am there and he’s safe and whole. I know I don’t want to attempt astral projection right now. It makes me nervous to start with but having covid is a big cosmic “NOPE” in my opinion. I’ve heard of dream smoke message spells (please forgive me but at the moment I can’t think of where I read it. I really should write that part down when I add them to my B.o.S too ) but is it possible me for me to transverse a whole image and give him a dream that I’m there with him and that I’m loving all the pieces together as best as I can? It’s completely destroying me that I can’t be there with him because I am stuck in quarantine and I need him to know that he’s not as alone as he thinks he is but he’s so heavy on the seeing is Believing stuff that he feels abandoned all the way around. And also if I were to attempt this… Should I ask his consent first? He’s not been in a good state of mind and his faith in the craft is shaken right now I believe since he told me I’m living in fantasy land yesterday. So I’m afraid to even mention it and cause even more turmoil but I also don’t wanna act without permission. I’ve already resisted EVERY urge to cast a healing spell for him because I’m afraid to approach him about it while he is so touchy but while I admit that the grief and pain is a process he needs to go through completely and I don’t need to meddle with trying to lessen or stop it he also doesn’t need to feel alone in it and I’m helpless in this situation right now both mentally and physically. Input/advice/ideas ARE beyond welcome and appreciated. I am running short on time and he NEEDS me and so I’m DESPERATE to find someway to help him without negatively affecting him. Thank you in advance and may you be forever blessed as I’ve been blessed.
Aww hon I am so sorry to hear things have been so rough on you and your family. I am new here but if I may offer a suggestion? My best advise would be to Write a letter to your husband. Let him know that he is loved and strong enough to handle this, that you will be with him in thoughts and your heart. And that you understand how painful this is for him and that you want to be as strong for him as he has been for you. And instead of a spell for him maybe try a blessing for your family. You you need one please message me and I will send you one. You are strong enough to deal with this. You I feel are like a willow tree, very hard to break. You will sway with this storm too
Well let me dry my face so I can say first and foremost merry meet @crystal24. I’m not sure if I’ve properly introduced myself yet or not. But yes absolutely always share your thoughts. I’m still very much a baby witch so I welcome and embrace all input. My mind has been a bit on the foggy unreliable side lately with the pregnancy and my struggles and now covid so any help you can provide I will put it to good use. The letter is a great idea and would normally be my first line of defense however he has already admitted that if it looks like more than a couple of sentences he’s not reading it. That’s why I thought of forming my letter and presenting it like a dream. Kinda like hiding veggies in your kids supper. I’m forever trying to find ways to help that man while letting him believe it is his idea all along. I did ask permission to work this type spell but he never did give me an answer so I choose to look at it like this. When we were married we went from 2 separate lives and became one. So if we are of the same life and what’s mine is his vive versa than I feel like it stands to reason that since I’m not attempting to interfere with his path in the physical non spiritual realm and essentially my “meddling” is just a happy picture in a dream that it can’t harm anyone at all. I kinda feel like relying on that loophole is reaching a little far to justify it but doesn’t it do more harm to have him believe he is suffering alone than to know he’s not and draw strength from the comfort… I have never had so much of a struggle with trying to find a way around asking anyone for their permission to assist them but as many ways as I’ve examined this theory just to find a couple loop holes to MAYBE validate my theory so I don’t have to say “I don’t need permission because he’s my husband” and work the spell with no worries at all scares me just a hair.
If you really think a dream could help him you could try to tweak a dream of me spell.
For me personally, I wouldn’t want someone invading my dreams without consent so I’d ask him first.
But I also like @crystal24’s idea of writing him a letter. People deal with their emotions differently an sometimes a different medium can help to convey how you’re feeling if it’s not obvious from your actions.
I’ve certainly written letters to my husband before if I’ve had trouble expressing myself verbally.
I’m so sorry you’re going through these tough times. It must feel even more terrible now that you’re pregnant. I like @crystal24’s idea of writing a letter, but if he won’t read a giant letter, get some Post-its and leave them around with little things. I’m thinking of you. I’m giving you a hug right now with my words. I love you. Just short little things. Because right now with his grief, his brain is going to be closed off terribly. I doubt if any dreamwork would get through.
I’m going to agree with everyone else here and say that the letter is a great idea, though I know you already said you might not read it if it’s too long. Amethyst has a good idea with the post-its but I don’t know how probable that is if you’re in quarantine.
As for magickal suggestions, a dream might be a good idea to help him not feel alone. If you’re worried about not asking for his consent outright, you could always work it into your spell. For example, you could say that he will dream of x,y,z and receive this energy if his own energy/higher-self/etc. is open to receiving it. Then if he isn’t open to it, it just won’t work.
I understand how you feel with the grief part. I am the same way, honestly, but so is my boyfriend. I tend to get very logical and strong when people lose others, or even when I lose someone, and I attribute it to traumas and my insane capability to compartmentalize everything in my life. Would you maybe be able to take the high road, so to speak, and talk to his mother? Maybe try and make amends (if possible, I know it isn’t always) and show him that you do actually care? It wouldn’t necessarily be for his mother’s sake but his. If he sees that you’re trying, even though it may be difficult, he may have a better understanding and start to feel less alone?
Whatever you choose, I hope it all works out for you and that things start to look up from here
Reading this caused my to ache for you, I have no words only hugs
@IrisW he and I have always had such a strong connection that we can literally feel each others emotions as our own (it seems like his grief is keeping him from feeling the pain I feel for him right now though) and we always tell each other anytime we have to be apart “I’ll see you in our dreams” whenever we say goodnight so I don’t think he’d really see it as an invasion really.
@Amethyst I love the idea of post it’s we do that randomly when we feel the other needs a little boost of reassurance but right now with having to live separate until we can afford to get in our own home again and the quarantine situation I’m in post it’s aren’t quite possible.
@MeganB I may just have to try working my spell so as not to disrupt any balance between us further. Thank you for suggesting it.
@Peaches it’s a heartbreaking thing to watch him crumble and be so helpless to do anything for him. He’s my safe place always because he is so strong and calm and rational most of the time and when things get crazy for me I run to him and he “anchors” me to the ground and I’m safe as long as he is with me. Which makes this even harder because I’ve never seen him so broken and I don’t know how to fix it. And I can’t ask him how he figured out what to do when it happens to me because he just instinctively knew. It’s strange how we know in our hearts what the other is feeling or can sense the others presence when we get near each other and we know each other better than anyone else but I can’t stop the cancer. I can’t heal her or the relationship between she and I (ive tried since the day we met and she’s unwilling to budge) and in spite of my prayers she’s going to die and it’s out of my control so for the first time there’s nothing I can do about his problem (which is equally frustrating for him I think because even before we started practicing he always told me and everyone else he met when problems arise "she’ll think of something. It’s a gift. She makes things happen. And it breaks my heart to test his faith in me this much thank you for the hugs though cause I sure needed it today.
I’m sorry this isn’t possible. Maybe text messages? Can’t hurt. Sending you love and light!
If too many words won’t work, don’t use them. (Ikr, helpful!). A picture is worth 1000 words…maybe write a letter but use words and pictures - of you and him, you and you MIL, him and her - to express things without words. It’s craft-y and craft-ish, and might seem a little childish, but the effort alone might be enough to convey your message.
@phoenix_dawn First off my heart goes out to you! This must be extremely difficult! (I can’t even imagine). What came to me was: Have you tried astral projection, lucid dreaming, or meditation? I know it takes a couple of times of practice to get those right but it is effective and powerful. Just a suggestion that I hope may help you in some way…