I am new to everything and here. My plan was to gather as much information before I start my journey and start participating here. But now am having really a hard time communicating with my son and As a single mom it’s becoming more and more tougher to deal alone. I am turning to you for help if anyone give me advice on doing spell to create good communication and understanding between me and my son. He is not listening to me at all and he is destroying his future right in front of my eyes
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I’m sorry you’re going through that!
Probably completely different set of problems but I also need a spell for communication and understanding with my 6-year old son. I’m really struggling with his behaviour and the feedback from teachers.
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@meaza Is there any way to show him the outcomes of his actions before they come to pass? In my youth, there was a program called “Scared Straight,” wherein teens were taken to jail to see and experience what it was like to continue down the current chosen path.
What is happening? The adult to be is testing his boundaries. Parents are not the only law makers in the world. Some rules can be bent or broken, and some can’t. Teens need to find those new boundaries now, before their lives are irreparably affected. Yet please do not think the behavior will continue for the rest of their lives. Once they see the consequences, they can reset and create appropriate boundaries for themselves.
Yet please do not rescue him, either. This will be a test of parental apron strings. Are you able to let him learn his own lessons? Stop trying to make life better for him than it was for you because it is now his life, his choices, his ability to build what he wants to experience.
Your job is now to guide him to becoming more independent until he can move out and survive without you. Do you have someone giving you money or food or clothes? Don’t give him any: make him understand his responsibilities in life. Start now and go slowly enough for him to create a new value system of personal independence without becoming overwhelmed. Give him choices between toys and clothes and let him go without if he chooses wrongly.
He may hate you. Good. You are not his friend if you keep him protected from real life at this point. He needs to understand responsibility before he starts creating a family of his own. Let him make his own money, let him choose what to do with it, but also make him see the results of his choices by not feeling sorry for him when he goofs it up. He needs this.
A magickal idea may be to imagine a ribbon from your throat chakra to his throat chakra. Make sure there is space on that ribbon for two ways, both to and from. Sometimes teens rebel because they feel they are not being heard.
@WrenEve Communicating with a 6 year old is completely different from communicating with a teen about to be considered an adult out on his own. Yet there may be similar aspects. It seems like the child thinks he already knows all there is to know. Surprise him with something bigger than he can handle. Let him run to you for help, but be close enough to watch his reactions. Do not rescue him! This would only serve to intensify the trouble. Make him think through what is happening and solve it as an adult would, but let him struggle with it, too. Basically, the 6 year old has been overly protected and doesn’t understand how to grow up and think for himself.
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hi, I have a 16 year old daughter. There are days it can be like female fight club here 
It’s kind been a progressive thing since she turned 13 but 16 is a whole other level that unlocked. However, I have tried several things that either have worked even a little, but have changed over time.
We have a Mom & Daughter journal. So we’ll write something in it to each other. No matter what it is, about anything. Then leave it on the other’s pillow.
We have a playlist that is for her & I to share. We will go for random drives together & chit chat.
I actually learned this with my 2 boys… When you can, be the mom that gives the rides with him or him & his friends. Ask him how his friends are, did anything interesting happen, did they have a good time… Or if the friends are in the car, let them talk & listen to whatever on the radio & just be there. You’ll never find out more about what kids are up to than when they feel comfortable when you’re driving them to or from something.
Do things together or see if theres a movie, dance, song, book, sunsets, errands. It takes a while, but sometimes thinking outside the box can help. I’ll go to her room & say hey, you seem off dis something happen? Is everyone okay? Anything I can help with or ve a sou ding board for?
Is it all going to work all the time? No. Will there be days that nothing you try seems like its helping? Yes. Sometimes letting her have space is a good thing, but I’ve also had to show ger where she was headed if she stayed on the path she was on. She was more than a handful the last few years. It took a lot of persistence… We still clash, but at the end of the day you’ll find us doing something silly in a parking lot or at the very least, no matter what, I say I love you every day when I drop her off, hang up, walk out the door, or go to bed.
I’ve had to learn to celebrate the tiniest of wins sometimes. It’s a balance vecause they aren’t kids really but not adukts either. So they are figuring out a lot about themselves, or trying to but also need some sort of boundaries at home that are held strong & communication with the school some times.
Be vulnerable. Don’t divulge all of your past, but sort get on their level. Tell them things from when you were 16 that were sinilar & how you handled it or what happened. Whether its school, friends, relationships, activities, or home. You’ll find a common ground but be prepared… once you do it will stay but tgen those boundaries will be tested again. I tell my daughter I’m her mother and she isnt always going to like what I have to say or allow, but its my job to make sure she is okay and navigating her way, not be her friend & tell her what she wants to hear.
Something I don’t know how many times I’ve said it… "I can’t be with you at all times. You are going to make decisions without me. When you do, you need to accept the consequences whether they are good, in between, or bad. If you make the decision you have to be accountable for what happens after its done.
I love you & be safe. Make good decisions. & if anything happens or you need a ride because you want to leave call me, text me, & we have a code phrase text thats like a… Come pick me up now. Without it saying come pick me up. So if a friend sees a text to me or a call they dont see or gear she doesnt feel confortable & needs to leave.
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Hi @meaza and welcome to the family! I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, the ladies have already offered fabulous advice and I wanted to add mine too if that’s okay.
I don’t have a teenager yet, but I did spend many years working with at-risk youth in a residential facility and for the record, my style is old school like georgia’s, for me that’s stage 2, and Susurrus for me is stage 1. But before you get to either of those, I think it’s important to think about things from a different perspective; I don’t know about you, but when I was 16, the very, very last people I wanted to talk to were my parents. And I’m not talking about the fact that Dad was the Pastor and Mum was the Pastor’s Wife…I’m talking about the fact that they were my parents, these ‘beings’ who were out of touch with the world and me and had a knack for keeping me from the fun stuff.
There was also this never-ending fear that I would lose their love, as my parents were old school and it seemed to me that their love was dependent on my behaviour, as opposed to them disliking the behaviour whilst still loving me no matter what.
Teenagers need to feel as though they can relate to their parent and vice versa; they can’t imagine that their parent, who’s always telling them to clean up their room and do their homework and finish their food, was once scared of something or worried about a test or had a moment when they weren’t sure what they were feeling. Some parents are straight up and honest and formal about it, some try to have a bonding session type of atmosphere such as discussing an embarrassing time first to break the ice before you get to the deep stuff. I’ve also encouraged writing notes for each other, because that is something tangible in your handwriting; for example, he may know that you love him, and he may hear it, but words disappear once they’re said, and having it written on a piece of paper makes it permanent, something to physically hold on to.
I would also say, there is absolutely no shame in asking for outside help. Whenever I’m struggling with my daughter, the other person is like ‘well I’ve got 2’ or ‘I had to manage 4 at the same time’; that’s fantastic for you and I’m not you, I’m me, and me needs help. If Sally Mae is raising 5 kids and keeping her career going, good for her; it is not a competition, it’s life and there is no manual because every single journey is unique. What isn’t unique is that no one gets there alone, we all need help at some point, some people are blessed to have a support network, and some aren’t - if you don’t have one, please reach out because it does not make you a bad mother, it makes you human and that’s okay, because you are. Sending love and light x
x Blessed Be x
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