It is what it is…

It’s so different now and she does sound incredibly strong… I can tell you i couldn’t care for that many kids i think i would go insane… I asked my mum how my grandma did it and my mum simply said the older ones are expected to care for the younger ones and as soon as we were old enough, we used to go out from morning and return just before dusk…

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Additions suck don’t they and to me personally they feel more like an illness than an actual addition… I have not been addicted to drugs as of such or computer gaming, but i have had my issues with both comfort eating and smoking. I used to be a social smoker when i was around 18 years old and could stop it when i wanted as it didn’t have an effect on me. However, in 2019 that all changed. The constant pressure at home of name calling at, cohesive behaviour by my husband, and being like a 24/7 servant service drove me up the wall, so what does any emotionally unstable person with depression do in my case, picks up a pack of smokes to ease the pain in another form… This at the time did wonders to my emotional health (no physical) along side having 3 jobs and studying 3 days a week so i could attend to this habit and also get away from my husband, but it wasn’t attainable and i missed my kids dearly as i used to also do night shifts as well as day shifts and drink energy drinks to help me both stay awake and stay away from home…
Anyways, i was having a ball avoiding real life, had even lost some weight and felt the top of my game but my husband found out, came into my Nursing college demanded the head educator terminate my studies (which they did as i had to sign something while i was being forced and i cried and pleaded), had to leave my 3 jobs, and then on top of that had to go overseas as my husband thought that it would be ‘good’ for me (yer like being in a foreign country where men’s rights were all the government care about was ‘good’ for me), and in the end i tried to stick up for myself, had a knife pulled on me over there, was told i am acting like a person who was on drug withdrawal and my in laws were going to take my kids… To make things even worse i went to the Australian embassy to ask if that can happen and they said it could as its men’s right regardless my citizen status… In the end after a lot of commotion, self-harm to myself, and trying my best to stay strong i am back at square one. I have also gained some weight due to trying to stay strong and kind of treating myself every so often and staying put at my desk to 1- do homework, and 2- forget about all my responsibilities (not the kids they are my life)… Its not easy having depression that cannot be treated due to my unchanged circumstances (i don’t mean medication as i tried that and husband thinks i am being ridiculous and i also had to stop taking meds after a few month), but i take my hard days at a time and yes sometimes i wish i didn’t have to wake up and just sleep to block out the world, but remind myself i can do it.
So with my new craft, new friends (you guys), my motorbike and cheery personality i know i can do it (well at least until the kids are adults and out of home). :slightly_smiling_face:

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I was inspired by @phoenix_dawn response about my first drawing of the horned god and decided to make another drawing to offer to Hecate and I will offer the fist pic to the horned god. This one I kind of just sat there playing with it and it turned out as so…
Processing: image.jpg…

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You’re as inspiring as phoenix_dawn is. Your strength is incredible.

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Thank you :blush:

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