Opposites TW: Death

Hi friends,
I’ve found myself in a peculiar situation. I’d like to do a candle blessing, but for two very different reasons. First, today is my step-son’s twenty first birthday and I want to bless and celebrate the man he has become. Second, my husband’s best friend passed away yesterday. She was in a horrific head on collision and has been in a coma for a week. Her family took her off of life support yesterday. Her two young (elementary aged) daughters were also injured. The girls already had some pretty major anxiety and social stress going on and I simply cannot imagine what they are going through right now.

Anyway, I want to do a prayer for our friend as well. Should I do one today and one tomorrow? Should one take priority over the other? Should I do them both today? Does it matter?

Joy and sorrow so entwined. Life.


Personally, I’d light a candle for your friend who died tonight, in the dark of the moon. And that family has my condolences.

Then, I’d light a candle to bless a life tomorrow, during the new moon, even if it is a day late.

Just my two cents.


Hi @AileyGrey,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband’s best friend, especially in such a sudden and tragic way. Sending love and warm thoughts as your mourn and honor her memory :pray::candle:

I think you are right to honor them both, and right to want to separate the two rituals. It will no doubt be hard and emotional, but I think blocking off time to fully embrace each situation (one happy, one sad) on their own is probably the best way to honor each.

I’m seconding @Amethyst’s suggestion- I think it is perfect! :+1:

Lots of love to you and your family. Blessed be :candle:


@AileyGrey I’m so sorry for the loss of your husand’s best friend. That is a really tough situation & I have been through similar times with my family also.

I just posted this in another thread, but I do know of a grief healing sachet… it helped me during the loss of my birth mother in Aug '21 & the loss of my pupper in June '22

Grief Healing Sachet: as always feel free to tweak for your needs if you feel called to. I had added charms that represented the losses to it. I mainly kept it by my bed & I also carried it with me when I needed to.

:people_hugging: :heart:


Thank you @BryWisteria and @Susurrus! It was definitely a bit shock. Everyone is doing ok! I’ll definitely look at this sachet to keep by the bed!


Oh wow, Ailey, that’s a difficult situation to manage :people_hugging: While we can be happy for our children growing and becoming their own people, we can also be sad and mourn the lives of the people that we have lost. I understand your desire to separate the two rituals, though, and I think that’s a good idea.

I just wanted to echo what has already been said and give my condolences to you and your family :people_hugging: :pray: :sparkles: