Questions about spellwork and the aftermath

I hope my questions makes sense.

Is there such a thing as casting beyond one’s power?

Can a witch cast a spell they may not be quite ready to cast yet?

I ask because I’ve cast a handful of spells against one person and each time I’ve cast against this individual I have been left feeling poorly afterwards taking a few days or longer to feel myself again. I’ve tried centering, grounding and several other suggestions I received the first time I cast against this person and felt like crud. Nothing worked.

It’s been suggested to me that the connection between me and this person is stronger than I anticipated and perhaps that is what is leaving me feeling so badly after spellwork. Is there a way to figure out if this is the case? Perhaps a way to work around it? Or am I being too ambitious at my novice level?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance!



I don’t really know the context as to why you’re casting against this person or exactly what kind of spells you’re casting but maybe a few things are going on. One of them might be that a part of you doesn’t want to cast against them…? Again, I don’t know the context but that came to mind.

I personally don’t think you’re necessarily casting above your power, sure you could be overdoing yourself (spending too much energy on it), but it might be that you don’t fully believe in what you’re doing or there is a connection going on that’s draining you.

Energy connections are a real thing. I’ve dealt with them myself.

This is a good example of a cord cutting ritual that you can do… it sounds a lot like something you might want to look into:

Here is more information regarding energy cords, if you’re not familiar:

A few other spells and rituals that you could look up are spells for personal healing, energy clearing or shielding.

Good luck, I hope this helps :heart:


@MelissaJ thank you for responding! :heart:

The spells were energy and cord cutting spells, a protection spell for myself and any others that cross. his path, and a binding spell to bind him being able to hurt me or anyone else again. I would share more but because of there being a restraining order I have to be careful on what I share online. I apologize if I sound vague I truly don’t mean to be. This person’s harassment forced me to delete all my social media because, and I don’t mean to sound dramatic, there wasn’t anywhere online I was safe from him.

While I have consulted the coven for advice on these spells, I was never really discouraged due to a spell being “above my level” or anything like that. In fact, many were gracious enough to give me some great advice on how to protect myself better during a spell and how to revive if I’m feeling particularly drained afterwards. Sadly, time seems to be the only thing that helps me bounce back and in that time if I try any kind of workings my focus for magic is just poof…gone. That’s what made me think to ask if I was casting above my ability and that’s why I was feeling like crud. And by that I mean just drained, no focus for magic, and I’m irritable.

I can say I put a lot of effort, time, research and more research into this binding spell that I cast a few days ago. There’s almost a borderline desperation to get rid of this connection, at least on my end. There was a hesitation at first to cast against him but that was resolved in another post and when I cast I had zero hesitation. I believe in what I’m doing wholeheartedly. I want this more connection broken more than words can say. This person is a monster and this connection is very draining. His threats and constant direct harassment for over a year instilled a terror in me that made my hair begin to streak white.

I was seeing a counselor for six months during this whole situation but ended up stopping therapy due to changing counselors and not wanting to change to a different one for a third time because I wasn’t finding a good fit.

It seems I haven’t gotten the hang of dealing with them myself. lol. Is there a such thing as wanting a spell to take hold so badly that it interferes with the spell itself?

Thank you for posting the links to your suggestions! I appreciate it a lot and while I know I’ve seen the energy cords reading I will still visit both links and your other suggestions. :heart:


Greetings @Mia.1,

You’ve got some great questions here! :grinning: I really had to put on my thinking cap to ponder through these ones. As always, these are just my own thoughts, but hopefully they might be able to spark something that helps you!

When it comes to being able to send out more energy than one has, I would say no. You have the energy you have and when you use it all up you’re at 0- I don’t think it’s possible to dip into “negative” amounts of magick.

This is mostly because I see magick not as an equation in a math problem, but as an somewhat tangible thing- although it often doesn’t have a form, energy has substance in a sense. You can’t have negative apples or negative herbs in the garden. I think of energy is part of nature- it’s there or it’s not there.

(Perhaps there’s the possibility of “borrowing”- in the sense that you owe a debt and it must be repaid- energy from a deity, but I don’t work with deities in that way so I can’t attest either way on that)

That being said, you can absolutely cast until you’re running on empty- and that is an exhausting experience that often takes time to recover from. I recommend checking the guide on Spellwork Exhaustion for more info as well as how to recover.

Additionally, (and some may disagree with me on this) just because you consciously cast a spell and wish for a deep or powerful bond to break, there may be some deeper part of you that isn’t ready or willing to let go yet. This is especially true in emotionally-charged cases or things that run deep- even if your conscious mind is 100% on board with throwing a crappy person or situation out, there may be something deeper that hangs on. (This can be for a huge number of reasons- perhaps it would feel lost without a driving goal to focus on, or the energy or revenge, or simply the good memories attached, etc.)

This is why things like Shadow Work and meditations that deal with the deeper parts of the consciousness are so worthwhile (very difficult, but very worthwhile). They can reveal parts, places, emotions, and bonds that we had no idea even existed before they started interfering in some way.

Spells are very powerful things. If the spells you cast aren’t having the intended effect, it may be because there is something interfering- which could be anything from something in your deeper conscious struggling to let go, to the recipient having levels of protection in place that negate or deflect the spell, to the spell simply needing more time to come into effect :mantelpiece_clock:

My best advice is to continue to pursue the spells that call to you while be extra observant about them. Keep a journal- record the spell experience, how it makes you feel in the moment, and how you feel about it hours or days afterward :open_book: . Take the time to do Shadow Work to peer deep inside :black_heart: . Be open to other types of spells or methods that call to you :magic_wand:

Again, these are just my thoughts and suggestions- whatever you choose to do, Mia, I hope you’re able to get past this block! Wishing you all the best with it :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Many blessings! :sparkles:


@TheTravelWitch_Bry beautifully said Bry


Awww thanks so much @christeena! :heart:


I think @TheTravelWitch_Bry hit the nail right on the head. You can’t really go into the negative when it comes to your own energy, in my opinion. If you’re finding yourself extra exhausted, you could be emptying your own energy well before the spell has a chance to take full effect. You might need to call on other sources of energy for help, especially if you’re finding resistance in the spell such as the target having protections or deflections in place. Other sources of energy could be candles and elements, deities, Spirits, herbs and plants, crystals, etc.


I am so sorry you’ve gone through so much with him. When someone has affected your life that deeply, it can be very difficult to sever the connection and to protect yourself.

@TheTravelWitch_Bry worded things better than I did and shared some wonderful thoughts.

I want to add… I had to deal with something this severe from a very close loved one. I still do, actually, but not quite as intense as before. I’ve done cord cutting and shielding and all of that, but it only works when I then let it go and focus on something else. When I open back up and have that person flooding my thoughts and emotions, the cord comes right back.

Does that make sense? That might be part of what is draining you so much. It’s like trying to cut through jello without removing it from the bowl.

I also agree that asking for help from any beings you can, or the universe, or heck even ancestors that you love and trust. If nothing else, ask for help with peace, which will help bolster your protection and healing. :heart:


Another idea that just popped into my head. I actually learned this from Hinduism, but I’ve seen similar things done with magick.

You write down all of the hurt, pain, regret, etc that is weighing down on you, then burn it. Don’t make a big ritual of it. Just toss it in a little fire or light the paper and put it in a fire safe container. Then watch it burn and know that it is being released into the universe.

Sometimes you have to do this multiple times. But it helps significantly. Sometimes our feeling drained is due to hanging on to emotions and memories, which our body then tries to handle for us. That can make us ill, exhausted, angry, etc. Making a physical act of getting it out of your head / body helps release it.

Anyway… just an idea. :heart:


That is a really beautiful release ritual, and it’s something quick and simple one can do even if they’re dealing with exhaustion (be it from spellwork, emotions, or otherwise). I love this, Melissa! :heart::blush:


I’m happy to share :heart:


:warning: :warning: :warning: TRIGGER WARNING!!! Discussion about death, domestic violence, sex offender :warning: :warning: :warning:

To everyone, thank you for responding! I promise you I have read all of them and I will respond to each individually I just wanted to get this out there…

Yesterday I spent a number of hours with my witchy friend and after some deep rooting discussions on the matter. She’s familiar in great detail of what happened between me and I walked away from the conversations with a lot to chew on and I spent the better part of today just thinking on what we talked about and came to the following conclusions as to why I’m getting these results in my work.

  • I’ve never truly sat with the emotions that this situation has left me with. While I’ve felt them, I’ve not processed through them or allowed myself to feel them long enough they can burn off so to speak.
  • Ive never forgiven myself for what happened. It sounds off but I blame myself and the weak state I was in for being fooled by this monster. Because I was so weak I didn’t have the strength to keep fighting him off so at times I would buckle and respond to him begging him to leave me alone because it was honestly more comforting to know where he was (at home with his children) than to ignore him and wonder if he was really was going to make good on his threats to come after me. This fear was fueled by him being a registered sex offender and violent ex convict.
  • I’ve been so focused in fear and anger that I was only casting spells mainly against him and never truly concentrated on healing myself from what he did. Instead of pouring myself into creating and casting these spells against him I should have been doing work based solely on myself and my needs. I just felt so let down by those who said they would protect me (the courts, law enforcement, social media guidelines) allowing him to continue to threaten and harass me. I felt the only way I could protect myself was to continually cast against him with everything I had and in turn I’m just making myself weaker.
  • I’m so locked in these emotions towards him that it interferes with my spellwork
  • The end result I’m looking for in my workings is peace, for myself, my body, my mind, my spirit from this entire situation with him. But I’m not going to find it in binding spells and rituals or researching spells and tools and ingredients being used against him. It’s just another form of him wasting my time and energy which are both better used towards me growing past this trauma.

She gave me almost the exact same advice I’ve received here and a few extra things to think about too… I’m grateful and blessed to have her and this coven to help guide me through this. I’ve decided to take the next several days and focus on what brings me peace. To give myself the chance to feel more positive and uplifting feelings to help strengthen the parts of me that have been left weak and broken.

I’ll respond personally to everyone tomorrow.

Thank you again!



It sounds like you have found your way forward and have charted a path to reclaiming your peace and inner calm- that’s a really powerful thing, Mia! I’m really happy for you :blush::heart:

Take all the time you need- there’s no rush, the coven will be here whenever you feel ready to chat :handshake: :infinite_roots:

Sending lots of love and light to you- many blessings! :sparkles:


I’m glad you were able to have a heart-to-heart with someone close to you about what’s going on :heart: it sounds like that person knows you very well and was able to give you some much-needed advice, words of wisdom, and a path forward.

I know you said you were taking a few days off so I just want to wish you all the good vibes :sparkles: and peaceful happenings. May you rest, find your joy, and travel the path to healing. :tree_of_life:


Big, big hugs to you :heart:

It sounds like you’ve found some clarity! I am so happy. Having those ah-ha moments can really help.

Good luck, and we’re here when you need us :heart:

Sending you peace!


Hi @Mia.1 sorry I’m a bit late to the discussion here — I do want to introduce a few other thoughts if that’s ok. Maybe no new ones, just feel like I want you to know I am here for you and care as well.

First and foremost, the trauma you have endured by the purp and by your own mind is significant and there needs to be a multi-disciplinary approach to the healing and ultimately the other goals of your spells, which I believe you had a “come to goddess” talk with your friend and discovered already. I think if we could charge rent to the voices in our heads we would all be millionaires…. but I digress.

I agree with the coven and @TheTravelWitch_Bry in that you are most likely not over your head in regards to energy level. If you feel icky, maybe the subject matter is just that…. Icky, so no way around that except to cleanse yourself after each spell, reset everything you used and bring up a ward or shield.

You do need to pace yourself and select what your priority is and focus there and then build on that in my opinion. So, I’d do general protection spells (yes plural) first and do them often and refresh them and use one that can be replenished daily for a while. Keep it ACTIVE!

Then, progress to meditations where you focus on your healing differently. This can be done in tandem whilst preparing and doing a cord cutting spell in the same week. I have had a lot of success with cord cutting spells combined with a burn pile like @MelissaJ described - and outside, on a full moon, as the alternative source of energy (@MeganB). The full moon will give you all you need.

As far as healing, I hope you are getting counseling, reading recovery books and part of support groups that will help you each step of the way on your own journey to healing both what he has done and what you have done to yourself as a result of everything. You may never have finality - some things are burned into our psyche - and cord cutting from him may only get rid of a portion of your pain and danger - there may always be a thread that always remains - but like @MelissaJ said, “it may only work when you let it go and focus on something else”.

I am a huge proponent of the law of attraction and thinking about something, even when it’s a way to remove something negative, will keep that thing in your life. Focus only on what you want and not what you don’t during your spells - your healing and shadow work is different and you can treat it as such, but your spells need to be in the positive. For example:

I call upon
To bind >NAME
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
Animal, Rock, Stream or Sea………


I call upon you
No longer will this binding be
With >NAME
I am free to live
Free to soar
Leave the house
And fear no more……
Let my heart and soul fly free
Let me receive healing mercy
This simple spell will lift all binds
As I will…So mote it be……

Thoughts? I like the THAT, because it’s pointed, healthy and focuses on YOU not him. Give yourself the Grace and Glory and be blessed my sister. :purple_heart:


@Mia.1 well hell yeah babe!!!

I replied to the pm u sent me too. U got this honey. Things always seem darkest in the beginning. But i PROMISE u there is light at the end of the tunnel


The universe can be amazing! I would guess, and this is just me, that your casting, the subsequent rejection of those casts, and the illness you felt afterward were your psyche and the universe working in tandem to help you realize what you needed to do to strengthen yourself!
In other words, using a little imagination, it was as if the universe was saying, “No, dear love. That’s not how you need to heal. This is…”
You are strong, and apparently REALLY loved!
Wishing you continued strength (although you may not need it :wink: ) and future prosperity!


Hi Mia,
My name is Jeannie I am sorry I have not introduced myself!
I am sorry you feel this discontent and I am wondering how your spell hasn’t worked.
I like the cord cutting advice and binding spell you attempted. Did you meditate :woman_in_lotus_position: Did you go to your higher power and try praying :pray:t4: about it? Also you must give it some time! Believe in your source Believe in your magic the universe is for you! Also karma will come back to get them for any harm done comes back in three and I believe that! Do you believe in karma? Once my uncle broke my nose after that lots of misfortune came his way and I was so angry! Feeling angry is a horrible feeling and I was victimized! You probably feel resentment and these are negative feelings. Try balancing it out with some meditation too k! Take care of your self! Have a witchy bath cleanse your self get all the spiritual junk out! Wash yourself with black charcoal salt and rub it on your chakras to get in alignment! Stay grounded you got this! You should put a protective shield around you and try releasing it over to your higher power!
I am sending you lots of love and prayers that you will heal your self!
Love :heart: and light


Ooooooo i love the witchy cleansing bath, @Jeannie1, @Mia.1 thats excellent advice that i forgot to mention