So I’ve heard so much about shadow work and have seen some stuff on it. I’m very interested and curious about it, especially since all my goddesses I follow deal in shadow work and transformation in some way.
I’m wondering though, is there ever a time someone shouldn’t be doing shadow work?
I’ve read that if someone has very low self-esteem or deals with some emotional problems and doesn’t love themselves, it’s not safe. Well, i have major depressive disorder, severe generalized anxiety and I was diagnosed with chronic Anorexia when I was 15. With that being said, should I not do shadow work at all in my practice? I’ve heard that it’s intense and powerful, but it helps your grow and love yourself more.
Any advice or insight on this would be greatly appreciated!
Oh! And if anyone has any shadow work books or journals to recommend too! I found some on Amazon, but want to look around and get some suggestions before I make a final decision on stuff.
I know exactly how you feel… I heard “Shadow Work” and thought I’m steering clear of that! I also have severe generalized anxiety, ridiculously low self-esteem, and first I was told MDD, then they said I was Bipolar II, in addition to other stuff I won’t go into. So yes, I was scared of Shadow work!
Then, my curiosity got the better of me and I did the SW course here…
…and it turns out, I’ve been doing Shadow Work my whole life! Questioning my motives, beliefs and understanding of myself is something I’ve always done, and I believe I’m a better person for it.
Personally, I don’t think anyone should do SW or Craft of any kind if they’re not in the right headspace, but that’s me. For some people, it can be uncomfortable to process things which have been buried, but that’s why people do it. It’s different for everyone, but by embracing and understanding those parts of us which have been buried, neglected, and rejected, we can fully embrace ourselves.
Essentially, I think SW is about exploration of the self, in a safe and non-judgemental way. There are many ways to do it, and I’m sure one of the lovelies will give a deeper insight and further guidance. I will try and link the posts I’ve made, maybe they’ll help to get you started too.
Also, it’s worth mentioning that SW isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay - it’s not a requirement, like everything else in the Craft, you should do it because you want to do it, not because you think you should.
Personally, I think if you’re going to dig really deep that you should do it with a counselor or some sort of support. I have a lot of crap shoved into boxes in the back of my head and I wouldn’t touch a lot of it without counseling.
The longer answer is that shadow work is, first and foremost, a psychological tool that helps us dig into our hidden minds. This can naturally bring up trauma, both trauma that we’re aware of and trauma we didn’t even know we had.
You mentioned your MDD, GAD, and eating disorder – these don’t automatically mean you can’t do shadow work. They just mean you should go very slow, start at the “surface level” shadows, and be very mindful of your triggers and the responses you feel when you do shadow work. I would also highly encourage you to mention that you’re doing shadow work to your therapist or mental health professional if you have one. If you don’t, then I would encourage you to start that first because a lot of tools you learn in therapy will also help you in shadow work.
I also have MDD and GAD, plus a whole lot of ADHD. When I do shadow work, I have to be very careful of what I explore and when because I know there are things I’m not equipped to handle on my own, and I’m not currently seeing a mental health professional because of time and insurance restraints (and the fact that I struggle with talk therapy anyway because of self-awareness and a potential other diagnosis).
Anyway, all that to be said that yes, you can do shadow work but you’ll need to be a bit more careful. I’ve got two books to recommend for shadow work that do a pretty good job of walking you through the process while also being mindful of traumas. The first is my own book, Whispers of the Soul. The second is called Shadow Work for Hot Messes by Mandi Em. I just did a book review of that on my blog that you can read here.
I do want to share a little questionnaire from my own book that can help you evaluate if you’re in a good place for shadow work.
I’ve put together this list of journal questions for you. These questions are meant to help you explore your mental state, your support system, and your current life situation. Only you can know if you’re ready to begin working with your Shadow. Hopefully, these questions can help you determine that.
How are you feeling emotionally? Be honest.
Do you have any mental health disorders or concerns?
What are your fears, if any, about meeting your Shadow? How do you plan on dealing with those fears?
Who would you choose for your support system, and why? Evaluate this as objectively as you can.
How stressed are you, and why?
Chaos can happen at any moment. That is the nature of life. How chaotic is your life right now, and how are you handling it?
Do you feel that you’re ready for Shadow Work? Why or why not?
What do you expect to get out of working with your Shadow? Be as honest as possible.
Thank you for sharing your path, @Nikki-Phoenix. You expressed yourself beautifully.
One slight caution, @Lunar_Witch, if you choose to take this path. Shadow work can become addictive in and of itself. Things get interesting and all of a sudden, depression hits. It helps to plan to come to the surface regularly.
I feel this is really important, at least one person you can trust to pick you up if you fall down. You’re going to fall down, quite a few times, it’s just the nature of the work. But it’s not exclusive to shadow work, our shadows are going to trip us up regardless. Shadow work will eventually help us to have less of that, but it means we have to face the same things in advance, voluntarily. I feel we all do shadow work regardless, just at what pace, is up to our choosing. Or, sometimes our environment chooses for us.
This is very rewarding work, and even more so the more knots we have in ourselves, diagnosed or not. But it’s very important to always approach it from a grounded and non-judgemental place. There’s nothing wrong with you, and nothing in how you are is your fault, nor anyone else’s. Sure, we as people can be and are jerks to each other and ourselves from time to time, there’s no escaping that. And we can acknowledge it, and adjust our trust accordingly, but when it comes to blame, it keeps us stuck and suffering. It’s all part of the work to recognize where we keep ourselves in mental and emotional traps like that. It can be truly liberating work when approached consciously.
I had similar concerns because I have cPTSD and when I am triggered, it’s kind of derailing, but I have done some shadow work and not run into anything that triggered me like that. I can control what parts I want to explore and how deep I go into it and if anything comes up that I want to process that I’m not sure I can manage on my own, I wait until my sessions with my trauma therapist.
Shadow work has really helped me become aware of parts of me that served me well during a time when I was in survival mode but no longer have a place in my current journey towards peace and self-love. It’s helped me to understand why those parts came to be, to accept them without judgment, and to let them go now that they no longer serve me. For that I am grateful. And nothing about that process was triggering for me. If anything it was led to more self-acceptance.
I can only speak for myself though. My journey and what’s triggering for me is going to be different from anyone else. I am already used to looking at the uncomfortable parts of myself. The difference is I shifted from feeling shame to understanding, acceptance and release. There was a time when I was not as healed that I may not have been able to handle that as easily. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just that healing is a journey and we are all at different stages.
I guess my advice then is to be mindful of any reactions you are having. If you feel too uncomfortable, take a step back, without judgment. Understand that that resistance is there for a reason and it’s not anything to be ashamed of. If you see a therapist, that would be a good thing to revisit in therapy. Blessed be.
