Thank you for sharing all that about your very personal connection to fire Megan! 
Fire manipulation sounds especially exciting, and that you have been able to to that since childhood speaks to me of a strong affinity to the element, and also to energy work. I had no idea that’s even something a person could do! 
But then, what I’ve been able to do with a candle flame is use my hands to first feel its heat and then go deeper from there… and from there use gentle and measured hand movements to make it a little smaller and then letting it return to its original size. I can also use the same technique to put out a match. It’s nice to hear that I’m not just being silly, and that you can even go beyond that!