The Trouble with Return It Back to Sender Spells

Witchy Wisdom
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The Trouble with Return It Back to Sender Spells

I was reading Christopher Penczak’s book The Inner Temple of Witchcraft: magick, meditation, and psychic development, 2002, and I came upon an interesting take on the return back to sender spells.

He says: “A popular defense is to visualize mirrors all around you, returning harm back to the sender, but I cannot recommend this technique at all. Many Witches vow never to do harm, but mirrors purposely send back harm to someone. The argument for the mirror technique is that the original sender is “karmically” getting what was sent out, but I believe it is not our job to make sure others “get what they deserve.” The universe takes care of that. Willing harm back to another instead of grounding it and neutralizing it is irresponsible. If someone should “walk into the magickal crossfire” and get “hit” by the harmful energy, we would be just as responsible. We did not start the conflict, but we perpetuated it when we could have ended it.”

He goes on the say that when first learning protection magick he was taught the technique of reflecting “love back on the source of the harm, in an effort to not make an unhealthy personal attachment, to not dwell on vengeance or retribution, and to potentially heal the situation.” He found however that a small percentage of the people launching both purposeful and unconscious attacks used the reflected love to fuel their own self-esteem without changing their ways. They felt rewarded for doing ill against another.

So he changed his intention to include love, will, and wisdom. The person would align with divine will and have the wisdom to see the situations, themselves, and their actions clearly. They would not become dependent on a quick boost of love to feel good.

When reflecting back harm, he suggested using these words: “I charge my protection shield to protect me from all harm on any level, and reflect love, will, and wisdom back on the source of the harm.” Repeat this three times and end with a “So mote it be.”

Food for thought? :thinking:

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Hmm… :thinking: I do have thoughts on this but it’s gonna take me a minute to process them and figure out how to put my thoughts into words. This is a great quote for discussion.

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Mmm it’s very interesting.

For me personally when I send someone back their harm and I’ll wishes they send me I don’t do it frivolously. When I strike back it is with intent. I don’t think it will hit anyone except my target. Why? Because I feel confidence in myself, magick, and my choices. I am generally a very kind and ridiculously patient with others. You can only ignore someones attacks for so long. I believe in justice and I don’t have a problem wielding my sword upon those who seek my destruction and down fall. I also think there are a lot of bad people in the world. If I fire it’s going to strike my intended target only.

Noone else is gonna protect me and stand for me and I won’t be pushed over and spit on. I just refuse 🫸🫸🫸

I am the bigger person in most instances. But Imma protect myself and send them a message that I’m not to be trifled with. I think that there are lots of bullies and if you don’t stand they will continue to attack you. And I’ve proven this many times in mundane ways and magick ones. I’m just a girl in the world :musical_note:

I also feel like in the other side of it like we have to walk on crackers. ( Hahaha I had to say cracker ls instead of eggshells)
Like people are too sensitive over stuff that blows my mind. I am very reasonable and I’m an empath so it’s not that I’m insensitive because you want sensitivity I’m that too.

In these groups I stick to myself after I see what’s going on I don’t want a part of it. Just too much. One extreme to the next.

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So this kind of goes hand in hand with the law of. What you send out will come back 3 fold. Many believe in both, law of 3 and harm none. Some believe in law of 3 but not the harm none. They feel if it’s justified it’s ok.
Then there are those, like me, who don’t follow either. I feel if the spirits or gods/goddesses I’m working with feel it is wrong, they will not let my spell work.

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Yes!! :raised_hands: This!! I believe this as well.

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It’s an interesting technique with a lot to consider! It also resonates. I personally believe that, rather than feeding into anger and hate, the higher path is to leave it in the hands of the divine. Because They can see all and know all, They are in a much better position to deal out righteous judgment whenever it is necessary. Still, it’s easier said than done - it can take a lot of self-discipline to not give in to retribution and revenge.

Choosing to not feed the anger and hatred is one step, trusting the divine to handle it well is another step - and I think the highest step of all would be to follow hatred with love and blessings.

When someone is able to truly do this, I think it’s a sign that they are deeply connected with the divine, are true to themselves, and are comfortable and confident in their spirituality and sense of being. It’s a really beautiful thing and, I think, a wholesome goal to aspire to.

I love this spell. Thank you for sharing it with us, @bj1! :pray: :heart:

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Great topic for discussion @bj1 !

Very beautifully worded!! This completely resonates with me and my practice. I can’t say I am perfect at following this, but I find that when I do, I’m more at peace and things go easier. Recently I found that by doing this, everything shifted - my back pain lessened, my mood lifted, and I have had a few wonderful opportunities open up to me that might not have otherwise.

Two paths diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Less Traveled

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That’s awesome and I’m happy for you! :heart:

Whether it’s the Law (or, as I prefer to call it, the “Guidelines”) of Attraction at work, the therapeutic benefits of releasing anger and not letting it claw away at you, or both - I’ve found the same. Whenever I’m able to release hatred in a healthy way, the health, mental, spiritual, and emotional benefits are abundant. On the surface level by removing so many hurtful symptoms, but also on a wider holistic level, because that open space is ready to be filled by other blessings that we may have not noticed had we been immersed in simmering rage.

Beautiful! Perfect quote :sunrise: :sparkles:

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This is a great article on dealing with repressed anger in a healthy way.
One can stick up for themselves, but “being assertive and not aggressive is the key to healthy mental and psychical well-being.”

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It is a good one - I’m happy you enjoyed it too! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Blessed be!

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I really enjoyed the article too @BryWisteria thank you :rainbow_heart: :full_moon: :sparkles:

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My pleasure, Crystal - I’m happy you liked it as well! :hugs: :heart:

Blessed be!

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So, I’ve been trying to figure out how to word my thoughts on this because I disagree with the author. I have to remember that this was written 22 years ago, though, and the fear of “witches are evil” by the general public was still causing people to push out Wicca-centric thoughts in all witchcraft books. This is also part of Penczak’s tradition, so there’s no fault to him there, either.

Speaking on this point here, I think it’s important to distinguish whether the witch feels like reflecting energy to the sender is an active or passive thing. If it is an active action then it makes sense that the witch would be the one causing the harm. However, if it is a passive action then the witch doing the reflecting isn’t doing anything besides using a shield.

While the mirror spell could potentially send harm back to someone else, it is a return of that person’s own energy and not the target’s. To put it in a physical sense, if someone shines a laser pointer at me and I hold up a mirror to reflect it back at the person, that is still them shining the laser. I have just diverted the beam of light to protect myself.

I don’t think it is my responsibility to deal with the energies that other people send my way. I feel like this all puts the burden on the target of the spell rather than the person responsible. I also disagree with the author’s notion that someone would walk into the magical crossfire of the energy. These spells are directed rather than released. This means that the energy has a target already and will not seek out another unless directed to by the caster. If I reflect energy back to the person who sent it to me, I am specifically directing that energy back to its source and no one else would be affected.

The issue I take with this thought is that, again, it is not my job to heal whatever the original person is going through. It is not my responsibility to make them see the error of their ways, nor is it my job to send them love and wisdom. Can I? Sure, but saying that this should be done every time rather than just returning what doesn’t belong to you is, again, putting the burden of the energy on the target rather than the original caster.

I don’t view return-to-sender spells as vengeance or retribution. I also don’t see it as “karma at work” because that’s not how karma works at all. I see it as a method of protecting my energy and my peace. It’s like that old saying from when I was a kid – “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks back on you.” Return to Sender spells are no different to me than a protection spell shield besides the fact the energy is given a new direction rather than deflected.

While I would never encourage anyone to actively harm someone with their magic, I can’t also discourage the use of protection methods that suit the witch. I never want someone to feel like they have to take the brunt of someone else’s magic out of fear of doing harm, and I never want to blame the target for the caster’s actions.

I hope all of this made sense… :laughing:

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@bj1

I became a healer before I began a more serious study of witchcraft :mage:

Anyway, I cleanse the “negative energy” and send only love back! In a sacred space, then I begin by connecting to a Divine source, calling in my magical helpers, sending the “dark energy” to the Sun :sun_with_face: or the the molten center of the Earth :earth_americas: Then “we” send the “transformed” energy back to its sender with love, light and compassion! Then I thank my helpers, etc.

Just my 2 cents…

With love :heartpulse: always,
Marsha

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A mirror set across from the front door to repel negative energy could be considered a passive protective shield. (One must be careful in their visualization and wording so they do not reflect good stuff away from their house as well as the bad).

The trouble I have with Return-it back-to-sender spells is the fact that they are active and the target (the original transgressor) is known. There is an element of retribution involved and an unhealthy attachment to the target has been or is being formed. If the returns are perpetuated, the situation could turn into a Hatfields and McCoys scenario. In the crossfire relatives could become involved. All one caster would have to do is send harmful energy to everyone sharing more than 100 cM of DNA with their opponent and they would be targeting all their biological second cousins.

When fresh emotions are involved things can get out of hand. No one should be told they can’t have feelings, however, how one reacts to those feelings can be problematic. One can be assertive and tell the other person how they feel and how they expect to be treated. One should not be aggressive and cause harm. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

It is all about perception. A father putting his son in a head lock and ruffling his son’s hair is considered an act of love in some families, but when that son does the same thing to another kid on a school bus, the act could be perceived quite differently.
When I was twelve I weighed less than 100 pounds and had twigs for arms and legs. I had to ride a school bus across town every day. There was a boy who got on that bus and harassed someone every day. He was huge. You know the type that gets the growth spurt before everyone else. The fear on that bus was palpable, because everyone sat in anticipation of the day that they would be the target. One day he targeted the smallest kid who was terrified. I had had enough. With the vision of a mouse confronting an elephant, I got out my seat and blocked his way. I told him how we all felt about his bullying and that he could shut up and go sit down in the back seat. There was an eerie silence and then a strange thing happened. He snapped his mouth shut and walked to the end of the bus and plopped himself down. He never bothered anyone on that bus again.

I did not call him names or physically harm him in any way, as that would have been hypocritical. Mimicking his negative ways and throwing his negativity back at him would have perpetuated a name calling match or worse. I did not want to become his successor. Instead I assertively told him how we all felt and gave him a choice of an alternate form of behavior.

UPS just delivered a book by Arin Murphy-Hiscock called Spellcrafting: strengthen the power of your craft by creating and casting your own unique spells, 2020. The second chapter (13 pages)is called The Ethics of Spellcasting. She says “ethics determine what you consider morally right or wrong. An ethical system has to have consistency- otherwise, it isn’t reliable. If you oppose murder one day and condone it the next, that’s an inconsistency that weakens your system of ethics. An unreliable or fluctuating system of ethics isn’t a system – it’s convenience. Hypocrisy is introduced when you are morally angered if someone else performs the same action that you yourself perform. Make sure your ethical system is consistent; otherwise you’re adrift without a rudder upon the sea of life.”

She goes on to say “ethical perspectives vary from person to person. Your basic sense of right and wrong will depend on your past experiences, your cultural background, and your upbringing.” She has an exercise called Ethics and Morals where she asks that you define the following words for yourself: truth, right, wrong, freedom, justice, responsibility, respect, ethics, and values.
Let your ethical system and your magick help you evolve and grow into your best self.

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Interesting, and there’s alot in there to mull over. However one thing you said sort of fits with Nordic Mystism and the point on imprinting DNA in ancestry

In Nordic Mystism there is alot of emphasis on Ancestors and the DNA imprint. The only way I can illustrate this is the way it was illustrated to me, through the effect of Christianity on Heathens. It was explained like this:

“You cannot all practice Heathenry the same way, there is not a one size fits all, even though we worship the same gods. Why? Because of the DNA imprint of ancestors. A heathen in Iceland for example will probably have no problem having an eclectic system of worship including Christianity, why? Because Iceland had a relatively peaceful transition with both pagan and Christian having an understanding of each other. However you cannot say the same for the English heathen. Why? Because Christianity practically obliterated any trace of paganism it could, persecuted and murdered the pagans in that land. As a result the ancestry DNA has imprinted in the English heathen, the memory and trauma of those events affecting the generations to come. This can create a feeling of conflict between the two systems which may take some working out. Hence what one heathen maybe ok with, we shouldn’t judge another heathen if they are not. The ancestry DNA is a powerful factor, whether we are aware of it or not.”

So in line with return to sender’s, or any form of retribution magic, applying this same principle of imprinting our experiences in our DNA, I can see how this could affect generations to come.

I suppose you could say it all depends on your belief system, but personally I do feel sometimes a bit of science is involved. Just my view. :person_shrugging:

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Belief systems definitely play a part. How you explain energy systems, how you view past lives, do you believe in ancestral curses, etc. will all play a part in how you develop your ethical system and how you conduct yourself in your daily life.
I have done extensive research into my DNA and family tree and when I shared some info with a neighbor she verified my feelings that my ancestor’s interests and occupations were reflected in my life’s interests and occupations.
I also noted that the early death of a father had profound effects on the lives of his daughters that filtered down subsequent generations.
I have been interested in how a traumatic event could alter someone’s DNA and then that trauma could be passed on to a subsequent generation. Science is working on it.

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I’ve always believed Magick is just unexplained science. :green_heart:

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Very thought proking. It makes sense for me, my lifestyle and my practice. I may get a copy of her book :thinking:

I wholeheartedly agree. Science and magick are more intertwined and interdependent than one would think. I realize not everyone thinks this way, but as a scientific and magickal person, I see the connections frequently.

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I have done a quick read of Spellcrafting and I enjoyed it.

I am at the point of defining my practice after reading too many 101 books. I was looking for a book that collected all the basics and gave good definitions of the terms of spellcraft, so that I had a reference book to rely on, but then gave me direction as to where to go next. Arin’s book summarizes the basics and then goes on to explain the how and why behind the basic steps, and then gives you the skills to create your own spells.

Her approach is eclectic, green, and no harm. She is a Canadian from Montreal.

I am very analytic and I appreciate her concise way of writing. You can tell she has been teaching for awhile and has answered a lot of questions from the intermediate witch’s perspective.

I believe Spellcrafting is a rewrite of her first book called Power Spellcraft for Life. Spellcrafting is hardcover with 303 pages, and retails for $22.99 Cdn.

I am also reading her book “Protection Spells”. I will probably post a spell for the back-to-schoolers from it in a new topic thread.

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