To Love Thyself 💖 Self-Love for Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is around the corner! While you may not be in a romantic relationship, you can still work with the energy of love in the air for yourself! Today, we are going to take a look at different ways you can incorporate self-love into your practice. We will write a self-love ritual together. Finally, we will do a self-love reading with a new spread!

A Quest In Self-Love

As witches, we possess the power to grow many things. We can harness the energy of the natural world or gain a helping hand from the Divine (or both!) to make ourselves better. We can use this power to help others, too! From helping your friends see themselves the way you do, to aiding your partner in healing a part of themselves, we witches are capable of great things in the name of our own spiritual endeavors and that of our community.

Self-Love Spells and Rituals to Boost Your Confidence and Well-Being
Self-Love Spells and Rituals to Boost Your Confidence and Well-Being

Self-love is often seen as participating in acts of softness. We take our ritual baths, use our nice skincare, and indulge in the things we love. Self-love is also about the difficult things, though - allowing ourselves to eat the things we enjoy, dress the way we want, and uphold boundaries even when it’s difficult.

Witchcraft can help you and those you care for in so many ways. There are rituals, spells, and tarot spreads you can do to guide you and help you along the way.

A Ritual For Healing

One aspect of self-love that is important to address is that of healing. Often, we are confronted with parts of ourselves from our Shadow that are difficult to see. This ritual will focus on naming those perceived negatives, our flaws, and countering them with positive aspects and affirmations. This ritual will help us achieve a more positive mindset, allowing us to flourish and bloom the way we were meant to!



  1. Begin by finding a quiet and comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed. If your tradition calls for it, cast a circle for protection and call on your guides or Gods.

  2. Hold the rose quartz in your hands and focus on its gentle energy. This is a crystal of love and compassion. Embrace this energy and allow it to move through you and around you, bringing you to a place of calm compassion.

  3. Spend a few moments focusing on the parts of yourself that need healing. Think about your negative self-talk or criticisms. These areas will be your focus - we will counter them with positive affirmations in this spell.

  4. When you are ready, take the paper and write down three positive affirmations. Be as specific as you would like - the more specific you are, the better direction the spell will have. Here are some affirmations as examples to help you out.

    • “I am worthy of love and acceptance.”
    • “My physical appearance does not dictate my value.”
    • “I am strong and capable of overcoming the challenges I face.”
  5. Hold the candle in your hands as you repeat these affirmations to yourself, saying each one firmly at least three times. Feel free to chant them repeatedly, entering a trance-like state.

  6. Place the candle in the holder and gather your herbs. Starting with the lavender, sprinkle the herbs around the candle in a circle going clockwise. With each herb you sprinkle, repeat the affirmations to yourself either in your mind or aloud.

  7. Light the candle. As the flame flickers, visualize it radiating love and healing energy to and around you. If you struggle with visualization, you will find this post on aphantasia helpful!

  8. Place the paper with affirmations under the candle holder. Close your eyes, focus your breathing, and allow your body and mind to relax. Meditate on these affirmations for a few moments, taking in the healing energy from the candle. When you are ready, repeat the following:

By candle flame and loving stone,
These words of love are my own.
Healing peace I call to me,
As I will it, so mote it be.

  1. Let the candle burn for a few moments before snuffing it out. Keep the affirmations under the candle for seven days, lighting the candle and meditating on the affirmations every day for a week. On the final day, let the candle burn down completely.

  2. When the candle is done, carry the affirmations and rose quartz with you or place them somewhere you will see daily.

A Ritual For Community

We can take the above ritual and modify it for the needs of our community. Rather than writing down affirmations for yourself, use a photo or the name of someone who needs healing. Repeat the spell as written and place the candle and photo on your altar space (if you have one).

When the candle has finished burning, consider giving the person a small gift or token to let them know you are thinking of them. This gift does not have to be physical, either! Compliments, joyful words, and more are just as wonderful to receive.

A Tarot Spread For Self Love

If a ritual is not your thing, you may find answers to some of your self-love questions through divination. You can utilize this easy spread with both tarot and oracle cards. Other divination methods may work too, though I have yet to test them. Gather your cards, sit in a quiet place, and let the cards show you the answer.


  1. Where should I focus my self-love?
    • This card will give you insight into your personal self-love journey. See this card as your main focus area, healing the parts of yourself that need the most attention.
  2. How can I best embrace love for myself?
    • Now that you have your focus area, this card will give you insight into how you can best do that. Be patient with yourself (see the next card) because this may be difficult.
  3. How can I embrace patience with myself?
    • Self-love and healing require patience. This card will give you insight into your inner compassion and kindness for yourself. Healing can be difficult, but with patience and love, it is possible.

So, this Valentine’s Day, pamper yourself and allow your heart to heal. Give yourself the love and attention you deserve! If you need more ideas for self-love magic, check out the spells and rituals below.

Self Love Spell Jar
How to Create a Self-Love Spell Jar with Honey & Lavender

Self-Appreciation Guided Meditation
Self-Love & Appreciation Break

Crystals for Love
Crystals for Love: Spells to Attract Love into Your Life

How To Make a Love Potion
How To Make A Love Potion


This is lovely :green_heart:


Perfect for having some cacao again :blush: :heart:


So many choices! I usually just pretend Valentine’s Day doesn’t exist :laughing: but I love the ideas here and I’m in need of some self-care for certain! :pink_heart: :silver_heart: :heart: :silver_heart: :pink_heart:


omg yes it is. I still have some of my Belizean cacao left :thinking:


I happy everyone likes the ideas here! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :pink_heart: Valentine’s Day has never been a big thing for me, but I’m hoping to turn that around and focus on myself this year.


It’s great I don’t do this enough especially now. I wish I had more time need to make time when I can. Thankyou for sharing it’s a healthy reminder :heart:


I plan on doing the self love jar


I had another lovely cup of cacao, and tried out this spread :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

  1. Where should I focus my self-love? 0. The Fool

The Fool is telling me: try new things, have fun and don’t stress about it. It doesn’t have to be perfect or useful, or some kind of a huge project of self-realization. Sometimes a smile or a good laugh is more than enough.

  1. How can I best embrace love for myself? Knight of Wands Reversed

The Knight of Wands is a very passionate and action-oriented card. I could use more of that energy, I’ve been feeling kinda stuck in my life. Coming up reversed holds a warning though, this is also the kind of energy that can send me tumbling down a cliff if badly directed.

I was looking at one of my favorite tarot interpretation sites, and this paragraph gave me a giggle :laughing:

(CW: sex)

This card has a very sexual energy to it, so getting overly excited, the Knight of Wands can make his decisions with his staff instead of his intellect. There’s nothing wrong with active sex life, but if you’re always thirsting for more excitement and danger, you might end up doing something reckless. Remember contraception.

It’s been some time since I last had any sexual adventures, one of the reasons being that the most interesting people are so far away! :sweat_smile: It could also be an invitation to be on lookout for opportunities on that front.

  1. How can I embrace patience with myself? Six of Wands

Six of Wands is a reminder of where I’m on my path, a call to celebrate everything that took me to where and who I am today. To love myself today, as I am, and to love everyone who helped me get here.

I’m happy with who I am, and thankful of all the beauty and love around me, especially bright in this coven family, and proud wherever I’ve been able to contribute to it. :heart:


@CelestiaMoon A fabulous reading, for a fabulous witch and friend. :sparkling_heart:


@tracyS Awww thank you my sweet friend, I appreciate you a lot, and Loki, Lucifer and the other beasties by extension :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


I loved seeing your interpretation with this reading :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: It sounds like it fits you perfectly! (and I love that extra little note about the card :joy: makes sense!)


@MeganB Thank you, that made me smile :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I appreciate you and everything you do here :heart:


Aww :hugs: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Thank you! I appreciate you, too!


I ended up mopey and unmotivated yesterday and never really accomplished anything, let alone my goals for the day. Decided two days of being down on myself was enough and started my day off with this tarot reading after doing my group ritual.

Pulled all the rose quartz I could find to bolster my mood and self-love. :pink_heart:

Looking forward to a positive and happy St. Skeletor’s Day! :laughing:


Beautiful! :heart: I’m happy to hear that you pulled out all your rose quartz and made your day better! :pink_heart: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: