Hereās my challenge entry.
Friendly warning that I hint at having had depression and suicidal thoughts in the past.
Peering into Past Lives
Do you believe in reincarnation?
I donāt know if I do. But I do know that a part of me hopes there isnāt such a thing. Iām not sure I want to do this over and over again ā I feel tired down to my soul. I frequently used to want it all to just end. That thereād be peace in nothingness because I simply wouldnāt exist. But perhaps this will improveā¦
One suggested that my tiredness stems from giving too much. She said,
How you are affected is not only the fact you absorb everything to you, but you give out so much energy all the time, always alert and taking everything in, it is like you are drawn and connected to all these frequencies and vibrational energy and in some respect in the past especially with people you have had this pull to just help and nurturer, but it is like to much for you and you get drained or hurt in the process. There is a tendency to take on problems as your own and hard for you to set healthy boundaries because you donāt know when to not give as such.
So perhaps this is a viewpoint that will change the more I overcome these problems.
Someone else suggested I do some rituals to take back energy from the world. Iāve only done that once, but now that Iām thinking about it, I should do it some more.
Do you believe that is possible for someone to come back to life in some way, shape, or form?
I know people who routinely save lives, often bringing people back after their hearts have stopped. Sometimes hearts that have stopped for almost 10 minutes. But perhaps this question refers to something more, such as coming back to life hours, days, or years later. To which I believe it isnāt.
That being said, I have heard one tale. Every seven years, their coven brought blood to the grave. They poured it into a small tube that went down to the body. After a certain number of decades of doing this, something awoke. But it wasnāt the person who died anymore. It was a horrifying thing. And apparently, none of them have given more detail than this. True story? It could be entirely made up. But I wonāt be the one to say so.
I thought Iād try some of the examples given in the challenge.
Slateās Reincarnation Machine says, āYouāve had 20 human lives.ā
A number itself is kind of difficult to reference. It doesnāt tell me if thatās many or few. But it reminds me of some readings Iāve had. One said:
you shine high priest/priestess qualities and it is because you have lived so many lives and you have delved into some many spiritual activities, communities and been psychically gifted yourself.
I read that and instantly felt tired again. Thinking about past lives and experiences gives me this feeling even more so than life has. I just feel tired down to the very core of my being.
The Loner Wolf Past Life Regression Test says the following:
Your answers to this test indicate that your most important past life lesson is learning how to listen to your intuition. You might be feeling unfocused, emotionally unstable, daydreamy or mentally foggy at the moment as a result of your present or past life experiences. However, once you learn how to trust your intuition, you will feel clear, focused, receptive and insightful, and you will be able to access your immense storage of wisdom.
Honestly, I donāt feel unstable at all and my partner keeps remarking on how Iām flourishing these days. Perhaps a bit unfocused and foggy, but thatās kind of my normal with ADHD.
The Gaia meditation on How to Remember Past Lives was a bit difficult. Perhaps I can blame the ADHD for always struggling to do guided meditations. But I did manage to get through it, even though my cats tried to bring me out of it early.
At some point during this, I kind of separated from the body of the past self and I watched as though standing there in the world and time, but invisible. But I couldāve sworn, at some point, it felt as though the past self looked right at me.
A lot happened during this. Sometimes I got a bit confused and lost, and was sure I went back and forward in time a bit. I think I had trouble focusing during some moments.
Then at the end, when I watched her lying in bed during her final moments, she looked at me and addressed me directly. She told me I wasnāt as strong as I could be, and that I had a long way to go. She said she could tell that I was inexperienced with this, through how my image appeared so weak and I missed so many moments, so many important moments.
I admitted this. I had no idea how old she was at that moment, nor where her family went. She told me they had all long since passed.
She said that she would not allow the power in her line to wane such and that I would see once I stepped outside. Then, she turned to dust.
And I moved towards the front door, looking over all her things on the way, now covered in cobwebs and dust. When I opened the door, I wasnāt inside her village anymore. It was almost like a city. She had moved, I believe, and I was staring at a world much later than I could have imagined.
What was the message behind all of this? I have some ideas, but I will definitely ponder them over the next few days.
After this, I also returned to a reading I had many months ago. I hadnāt read it since. I wonāt share the entire thing, as itās very long and gets quite personal, but here is a snippet:
You have a long line she is saying of working with such energies and so naturally when you came into this vessel int his time period you are drawn to this energy, it hasnāt left.
Many of your lives you have always been pulled to magic or spirituality in one way of another, and you will have this calling. Hekate says you are truly gifted int his area and your spirit, and higher self remembers all that you can do and how you have brought change with you through dedication, incarnation, rituals and through the dead.
the older you get the stronger you will get and easier to remember your past lives and to connect to many in spirit.
I will need time and practise, I suppose. I do have a long way to goā¦ But I definitely need some time to recharge.
Iām tired. But the future doesnāt seem bleak anymore.