I read something extremely raw and powerful about the nature of guilt, and it gave me a lot to think. Or more precisely, a lot to release. It all comes down to how feeling guilty or punishing ourselves in some other way can make us feel like weāre actually doing something helpful. Itās just another of those things how we get in our own way.
The book I read that in was The Play of Awakening: Adventures in Direct Realization Tantra by Shambhavi Sarasvati. It describes quite a few common patterns of how our ego tends to trip us up, and tips about how to stay focused on your spiritual path whether Tantra or something else. 
The text can be a little thorny at times though and may trigger some of those ego defenses so fair warning! This pretty much goes in the realm of shadow work too.
Long quote from the book, click to open
Many people suffer from a tension they call āguilt.ā Guilt is a tricky little small I survival pattern. Guilt uses the mask of responsibility to avoid responsibility and maintain destructive habit patterns.
Guilt draws attention away from the reality of my actions and toward small selfās feeling of guilt. By feeling really guilty, I try to fool everyone into thinking I am taking responsibility, but I am actually running away from responsibility and sucking energy out of others.
Usually, guilt demands sympathy from those very others who have been most affected by my action or inaction. Guilt is āmeā focused instead of Real Situation focused. Guilt is a technique for evading responsible action.
If we injure an animal with our car, we try to do something to alleviate the animalās suffering. We donāt stand idly at the curb moaning about how guilty we feel about the plight of animals. We donāt demand that others attend to our guilt while leaving the actual animal to suffer alone. Or maybe we do.
Guilt always tries to perpetuate itself. Have you ever tried to talk a person out of feeling guilty? Guilt just uses this attention to fuel itself. No matter how sensible and reality-based you are with a guilty person, they can always return to the status quo by claiming I feel so guilty! In this way, cultivating guilt helps to keep the guilty person primed and ready to return to the same irresponsible behaviors.
How does this work? Guilt is a pay out. You do something destructive to yourself and others. Then you pay for your behavior with the āpunishmentā of feeling guilty. After this, you are free to return to the same pattern. Or likely you are in the pattern and feel guilty all at the same time. You pay as you go.
Guilty people also apologize without any real intention of changing their situation. Even worse is when they ask for forgiveness. Instead of quietly and efficiently rectifying their behavior, they ask someone else to perform the work of a priest.
For people who are stuck with guilt, this pattern usually happens over and over again. Itās really exhausting. The guilty should get angry at guilt and its ploys. Guilt is like a bad houseguest who eats your food and leaves you with an enormous utility bill.
The truth is, none of us needs to be forgiven for our ignorance and mistakes. Having an experience of limitation is just a natural aspect of the life process. But waking up is being responsive and responsible to your real situation. You have the opportunity to practice and discover more of your human situation and its potentials, and you seize this opportunity.
A friend told me he felt guilty about something. Then he said, I suppose Tantrikas donāt feel guilty. True. But we do feel healthy regret. When we regret our actions, we are saying that we see their consequences, and we intend to do our best to relax the tensions that caused us to act in a certain ignorant way.
Regret acknowledges that we cannot change what has already happened, but we can have an impact on what is going to happen. This is responsibility without narcissism. Regret acknowledges the harm we have caused to ourselves and others, but it doesnāt wring pity out of people.
No matter how destructive a pattern has been, we can always make a decision to use our practice and begin to relax those tensions. We can do better the next time. Sometimes we take vows to help us with this. Sometimes we are able, because of the grace inherent in the totality of a situation, to develop more clarity and change our patterning in that moment.
For people who habitually express their suffering in the form of guilt, to recognize the real nature of guilt can be an experience like taking a big breath of fresh, cold mountain air. Relaxing the grip of guilt to let in honest regret also lets in self-compassion and compassion for others. We are no longer locked up in our cage of guilt, continually reinforcing our root sense of separation. We can rejoin the human family, and even appreciate that clever trickster guilt as we say goodbye.
stone so I just love 
this stone!
Hekate
, psychic abilities, love 
I really like how you said
). I think that was both creative and clever of you to combine the forgiveness ritual with elements of cord-cutting: you reflected on your situation and created the best possible way for you to approach it- a round of applause to you! 
I know it was mentioned above, but forgiveness really is a great gift to give yourself. Good for you for facing your fears, reaching out to your family, and doing that deep work to find inner acceptance. Your birthday is an auspicious time and I wish you all the best of luck with your work this week- may you become the person you want to be, and find your inner peace and freedom! 
It pairs beautifully with your forgiveness potion charm bag too, what a great combo (and extra thanks for writing the correspondences next to the ingredients- that is really helpful!) 
I also think you are very strong to examine resentment and ill will and still hold yourself above it, choosing instead to focus your energy on examining the issue as a whole, from a higher point of view. I agree that forgiveness does not equal forgetting- life is full of experiences (some of which are, unfortunately, horribly brutal and painful) and I believe there is value and growth in holding onto the lessons weāve learned- even if just to prevent it from ever happening again. Thank you for taking the time on reflect on forgiveness in your practice and for sharing your experience- it was insightful to read! 
