I often catch myself wondering what life would have been like if we had Dad around for longer. But things happen for a reason as with all things. Sometimes itās just really difficult to see a valid reason until you stop and look back a long time later.
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Your Welcome @jessica72 I hope you find all of your peace. Life is too short to hang onto all of that hurt, anger, sadness, and even with all of that, we forget to forgive ourselves. I knew I had to do something after reading all that information, so in letting the ashes blow in the wind off the property said to myself I matter and you no longer get to hurt me anymore.
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I love everyoneās entry and you all did a very good job with what we all have had to deal with in sorrow, hurts, sadness, etc. Wonderful job witches. 
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Siofra,
I really enjoyed and Appreciate your post I loved all of the gratitude journals and journal prompts and I remember the time when I first came to the coven and I really wanted to work on my emotional state well I think I had a burst of energy to do so but somehow someway get well in my mental field.
I lost that and you gave me the initiative to try again! So thank you for this lovely space that we share! So just to be clear In the book Crystals color in chakra healing Brazilian Simon lily,when we get grounded it helps us With our spiritual energy and can be vital to anchor those energies. Sometimes our energy fields can get disrupted and disrupt us in the way we function. A lack of grounding can create hyper activity restlessness and inability to settle in very volatile emotions. Grounding an earthling restores the natural flow of energy to and from the base chakra and visualizations is helpful. So I think that the grounding ritual that silver bear gave us Will help.
Also, I like this one with your feet firmly on the ground imagine tree roots extending down and out from where are you were touching the ground. With each out breath imagine the roots growing deeper and more firmly into the earth with each in breath allow sustaining energy of the earth to flow through your whole body.
Jeannie
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Okay, this is my Witchy Challenge for this week.
My father had passed away on September 9, 2021 and before he passed it was suggested that I let him know how I feel and to release him from any of his guilt. Apparently that helps them heal when they pass over. But anyway, a few days after his birthday which was July 10th, I told him that I hold no grudges and that I knew he was only trying to protect me and be the father he could be. A week after that he was in and out of the hospital with bladder cancer and then passed. Forgiving him was much easier than forgiving myself because I waited so long to tell him and hadnāt talked to him in 15 years. So instead of continuously beating myself up for something I canāt change, I realized I need to let it go and forgive myself. So this ritual is all about self-healing and love.
What you will need:
1 Full Moon
1 pink candle
Tea:
2 teas. rose petals/for love
2 teas. rosemary/for strength
8 oz water
Honey
Crystals:
Clear quartz
Pink quartz
Incense:
Myrrh
And I will say this:
With this tea
I open my heart
For healing
For peace
For a fresh start
To recover from wounds
That were once inflicted
To unravel the mystery
In which was encrypted
The poisonous mind
From another I put aside
Reaching my truth
Through my tears I have cried
Taking back my freedom
And my source of power
My heart
My spirit
My soul
They canāt devour
Self-love is the foundation
Iāve come to realize
To build strong boundaries
Without compromise
With this new love
I can forgive the choices I made
And shrug off the guilt
The shame
The burden
It weighed
Finally I emerge
Lighthearted and free
Letting time move forward
To forgive you
To forgive me
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@janis That was awesome!
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@debra2 Great information! Self-forgiveness is hard but itās so true that even though we forgive it doesnāt mean we forget. Because seriously, who forgets getting burned, but we can learn to accept that weāre all just human and making mistakes is how we learn.
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@Kasandra āMay I be free of my anger at lastā this line resonates with me. That definitely brings peace.
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In doing the Forgiveness challenge, I found so much rage and anguish.
FOR NO REASON. Looking back at my High School class, I donāt remember when, but Iād been invited to a reunion and ātheyā had become āThose people. I had nothing in common with any of them.ā What an arrogant little p_$$pot. I was not only shamed by my behavior but embarrassed.
I needed to learn to forgive myself over that one.
It actually became easier to deal with my mother and forgiveness than with the person I had been then. Thatās another reason Iām leery of Shadow work. I donāt want to remember what an unpleasant person I was.
After that eww factor memory, Iāve decided that nostalgia is going to be put in a box marked, Do not open! Ever!
Bless you all,
Garnet (The almost Grinch)
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@jessica72 Thank you, what a sweet response!
Having a shit kinda morning today, this just helped!
Blessed Be,
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Itās time for a friendly reminder!
This challenge will close TOMORROW
If you would like to participate and havenāt done so already, please post about your challenge experience(s) by the deadline: Tomorrow: December 14th, 7:00 AM EST (Eastern Standard Time Zone)
Blessed be! 
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@Christina4 Condolosences about the loss of your friend- it sounds like the ritual brought back some nostalgia that was both happy and sad at the same time. It sounds like you can feel that he is resting at peace now, and I hope the farewell ritual helped you to find your inner peace as well. So much love to you! 
@Debra2 It sounds like you carry a lot of pain in your heart- sending you a big hug! While I do not know the details and cannot speak to any of the wrongs that were done, I am sorry that those who were so treasured by you left the way they did. It is easy to become lost in seeking meanings or reasons, so my best advice to you would be to focus on how you can heal yourself- as you are a strong, wonderful, capable person all on your own! 
Take the love you so kindly shared with others and remember to save some for yourself- indulge in self love and self care as you embark on the long journey towards both healing and freedom. Iām cheering for you, Debra! 
And absolutely stunning spellwork on forgiveness- what a powerful entry! Thank you so much for sharing 
@Rowan Beautifully written as always 
And agreed- I really think there should be some kind of Empathy Class that teaches forgiveness in schools, itās such a valuable thing to learn about! And no worries- you said it perfectly that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, it certainly doesnāt mean we have to come to like to even be nice to the person whose actions we are putting behind us. That being said, your story has a very happy and successful ending- you are amazing for being able to move beyond the past and reach the point youāve gotten to! You have a very strong heart, Rowan- congrats to you
@Susurrus Grounding work and journalling are really successful and helpful ways to work through problems (and even reveal things that we didnāt know were holding us down!) and seek out freedom through forgiveness. I know Iāve said it before, but you are always learning and growing, Siofra, and I am so proud of how far you have come even in the short time weāve known each other. A huge congrats to you!
@Kasandra Frozen and The Ice Dragon make quite the pair for inspiration! Beautiful spellwork, Kasandra- sorry that nature didnāt want to lend a hand this time around. I imagine the snowy days will be here before we know it (although then again, the weather is so unpredictable these days). I love the note you included for those who donāt live in wintery climates- a freezer is always a good substitute. Thank you so much for sharing this lovely spell! 
@Amethyst For all the adjectives I love to use (sometimes too much, I know 
), I just canāt find the right words to be able to adequately describe this pieceā¦ you really poured your heart into it and it shines through with every word. The loss of your father and situation with your mother is a very heavy burden to bear, especially when you were so young. Your spellwork here is lovely and the words are so powerful- the focus on healing and freedom really rings. I had to stop and read the line āforgiveness is a giftā over and over- because it is so true. You always sweep me away with your words- I canāt say it enough.
I could go on and on about how powerful this is- beautiful work, Amethyst. Just beautiful
@Janis You have already come a long way on your path towards wellness, Janis- a huge congrats to you! Forgiveness is an important piece of the puzzle of wellbeing, and it sounds like you have found your freedom and inner acceptance. Beautiful chant and lovely spellwork, and I love your note about taking a walk in nature to conclude the spell! I can see mental, emotional, and physical wellness in this spellwork- you did such a great job! 
@Christine13 Iām so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your father, Christine. You are so strong for overcoming inner obstacles and expressing forgiveness to your father. Your emotions and inner journey shine through in this beautiful ritual- it is such a lovely self-healing spell And bonus points for tea magick- it really is such a wonderful medium for healing work! Thank you so much for sharing
@Garnet I can say with confidence that you arenāt alone about looking back on high school years with disdain and anger. I think many of us- myself certainly included- associate that time of our lives with a lot of pain and struggles and those emotions can take over pretty easily. Iām glad you are finding your forgiveness and also learning where to draw your lines- there are indeed some things that we are not ready to dig into! You are wise for being careful about Shadow Work. Lots of love!
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I read something extremely raw and powerful about the nature of guilt, and it gave me a lot to think. Or more precisely, a lot to release. It all comes down to how feeling guilty or punishing ourselves in some other way can make us feel like weāre actually doing something helpful. Itās just another of those things how we get in our own way.
The book I read that in was The Play of Awakening: Adventures in Direct Realization Tantra by Shambhavi Sarasvati. It describes quite a few common patterns of how our ego tends to trip us up, and tips about how to stay focused on your spiritual path whether Tantra or something else. 
The text can be a little thorny at times though and may trigger some of those ego defenses so fair warning! This pretty much goes in the realm of shadow work too.
Long quote from the book, click to open
Many people suffer from a tension they call āguilt.ā Guilt is a tricky little small I survival pattern. Guilt uses the mask of responsibility to avoid responsibility and maintain destructive habit patterns.
Guilt draws attention away from the reality of my actions and toward small selfās feeling of guilt. By feeling really guilty, I try to fool everyone into thinking I am taking responsibility, but I am actually running away from responsibility and sucking energy out of others.
Usually, guilt demands sympathy from those very others who have been most affected by my action or inaction. Guilt is āmeā focused instead of Real Situation focused. Guilt is a technique for evading responsible action.
If we injure an animal with our car, we try to do something to alleviate the animalās suffering. We donāt stand idly at the curb moaning about how guilty we feel about the plight of animals. We donāt demand that others attend to our guilt while leaving the actual animal to suffer alone. Or maybe we do.
Guilt always tries to perpetuate itself. Have you ever tried to talk a person out of feeling guilty? Guilt just uses this attention to fuel itself. No matter how sensible and reality-based you are with a guilty person, they can always return to the status quo by claiming I feel so guilty! In this way, cultivating guilt helps to keep the guilty person primed and ready to return to the same irresponsible behaviors.
How does this work? Guilt is a pay out. You do something destructive to yourself and others. Then you pay for your behavior with the āpunishmentā of feeling guilty. After this, you are free to return to the same pattern. Or likely you are in the pattern and feel guilty all at the same time. You pay as you go.
Guilty people also apologize without any real intention of changing their situation. Even worse is when they ask for forgiveness. Instead of quietly and efficiently rectifying their behavior, they ask someone else to perform the work of a priest.
For people who are stuck with guilt, this pattern usually happens over and over again. Itās really exhausting. The guilty should get angry at guilt and its ploys. Guilt is like a bad houseguest who eats your food and leaves you with an enormous utility bill.
The truth is, none of us needs to be forgiven for our ignorance and mistakes. Having an experience of limitation is just a natural aspect of the life process. But waking up is being responsive and responsible to your real situation. You have the opportunity to practice and discover more of your human situation and its potentials, and you seize this opportunity.
A friend told me he felt guilty about something. Then he said, I suppose Tantrikas donāt feel guilty. True. But we do feel healthy regret. When we regret our actions, we are saying that we see their consequences, and we intend to do our best to relax the tensions that caused us to act in a certain ignorant way.
Regret acknowledges that we cannot change what has already happened, but we can have an impact on what is going to happen. This is responsibility without narcissism. Regret acknowledges the harm we have caused to ourselves and others, but it doesnāt wring pity out of people.
No matter how destructive a pattern has been, we can always make a decision to use our practice and begin to relax those tensions. We can do better the next time. Sometimes we take vows to help us with this. Sometimes we are able, because of the grace inherent in the totality of a situation, to develop more clarity and change our patterning in that moment.
For people who habitually express their suffering in the form of guilt, to recognize the real nature of guilt can be an experience like taking a big breath of fresh, cold mountain air. Relaxing the grip of guilt to let in honest regret also lets in self-compassion and compassion for others. We are no longer locked up in our cage of guilt, continually reinforcing our root sense of separation. We can rejoin the human family, and even appreciate that clever trickster guilt as we say goodbye.
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Janis,
I love Rhodochrosite
Hello, Janis, I have this stone for self-acceptance as well. I actually have a owl 
stone so I just love this stone!
These are great affirmations to as well thank you again for your inner teachings too! I think I will copy these affirmations down in the B.O.S
Jeannie
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I think I was lucky. See, Dad could always tell when someone was going to die. Heād call up an old army buddy out of nowhere and hear that heād passed a week or so after heād called. So when Dad told me that he wouldnāt live to see me graduate from high school, I believed him and was somewhat prepared, despite the shock of it. But for Mom and other people it came out of the blue, he was at work the day before he passed.
Iām just glad I didnāt get his talent. That had to have been a creepy one to have.
That was beautiful @christine13! Well done!
Thank you so much for liking it! I was a bit worried because it didnāt rhyme but it came from the heart.
That was beautiful but sad all at once. Guilt is a trap, I agree. Itās just hard to get out sometimes.
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What a beautiful entry! Iām so sorry to hear that you have so recently lost your Dad. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal after it just recently happened. You really are an amazing person to have the inner strength to come to terms with that, no matter the circumstances of your relationship. It was beautiful what you wrote. I really love how you focused on self-healing and incorporated crystals into your work. I lost my Dad many years ago but reading your post brought back so many memories.
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Hello everyone,
Iām glad that you all liked the challenge. Thanks so much, @BryWisteria for creating this beautiful activity for all.
A lot of things had happened since I decided to do this challenge, but I think the most important thing is that I wrote a letter to my mom, I used to do it a lot when I was a kid. It was certainly a forgiveness letter, where I let my feelings flow, I told her that I choose to remember the good memories when she was a good mom than when she wasnāt. Iām planning to enchant it before Christmas and give her the letter as a gift.
Sending you all good vibes. Happy Moonday 
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This was as it always seems to be a well-timed challenge for me to work on.
I have a hard time letting go of emotional things sometimes to the point that it affects me physically. I tend to fixate on hurts or potential hurts that I catastrophize and get locked in a cycle where Iām hurt and angry and continue to makes choices that worsen the situation instead of releasing the feelings and reclaiming my own energy.
I know Iāve needed to do a cord cutting ritual for someone in my life that continues wind up my anxiety and insecurities with her own issues. I take on and exagerrate her anxiety and lash out by cutting ties abrubtly without explanation to the ones I love. I know I need to let go and let her issues be her own. But I think part of me doesnāt know what to do without it. Who Iād be without the downward spirals. I print out the rituals and then tuck them away. Until things get out of hand and I wonder why Iām back at the same spot yet again feeling the same horrible way knowing Iām partly to blame.
I probably could and need to do a few Forgiveness rituals but the one thatās eating me up right now takes precidence.
I chose to use the Forgiveness Ritual and toss in a cord-cutting element. I wrote her name on a piece of paper and imagined how I would feel without the anxiety, the anger, the drama in my life. I focused on it clearly then lit the small scrap of paper containing her name on fire. And it fizzled out. Several attempts failed so I reexamined my intent and resolve and realized I was still holding on. I found a larger piece of paper to scribble her name upon. Balled it up and tossed it into my metal incense burner. I had a piece of twine nearby as well. I lit the crumpled paper afire and the blaze took this time. I grabbed the twine and held it over the flame as the paper moldered into glowing ash. The flame broke the twine with a snap that surprised me. I felt it not only in my soul but in my body.
Am I fixed? Maybe not yet. But Iām working on it for onceā¦ Iāve stopped insisting that I have to hold on to the pain, anxiety, and anger.
Thank you for this challenge and for the amazing ritual which is sure to become a part of my practice.
Kat
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My challenge entry is here: https://forum.spells8.com/t/my-forgiveness-challenge-entry/17323
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Oh, Christine, this is absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for sharing this! I love your words, your thoughts, your ritual, all of it! Blessings and Light to you!
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