Ego in Practice 🤔 Are you in your own way?

[MeganB]

I recently did a video about ego within witchcraft and what can happen when we let our own preconceived notions and biases get in the way of our growth. Since I posted about it on YouTube, I wanted to talk about it here, too! I will share the video at the bottom of this post, if you want to watch it.

What do I mean when I say “Ego”?

The word ego is usually defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. In psychoanalysis, the definition is a bit different.

the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity
– Oxford Dictionary

When I speak of ego in witchcraft or any spiritual practice, I am talking about that little voice we all have in our head that tells us things are stupid, dumb, or not worth practicing. It’s those little things that we have feelings about whenever we see them, whether those feelings are warranted or not.

It’s important to note here that not every strange feeling, bias, or experience is going to be your ego getting in the way. Some practices are problematic, and your experiences with different systems and traditions are valid. This is why it is critical, in my opinion, to learn your patterns and know yourself when practicing witchcraft.

Okay, so what does it look like?

I am not innocent when it comes to letting my ego get in the way of growth in practice, or at the very least, trying something new. I will 100% own that truth, and you know what? We are all guilty of this at one point or another. AND IT’S OKAY! Sometimes we just get so set in our ways that the thought of trying something new just doesn’t vibe with us. Or we see people get caught up in trends (like the moldavite craze that has skyrocketed the price of this piece of space glass!) and turn our noses up at it.

I will give you some examples of my own ego stopping me in my tracks. Yes, I am putting myself out there with these examples to be judged, but you know what? That is perfectly fine with me because at the end of the day, I know we have all faced something similar. And if you haven’t? Then I’d like to formally congratulate you an being perfect

Anyway, here are a few things that have made me go ehhh when it comes to witchcraft and spirituality.

Crystal Healing – Oh, the shock and horror! And I know Christina is gonna come for me for this one BUT! Crystal healing just doesn’t vibe with me and I have often found myself grumbling silently that while crystals are beautiful pieces of the Earth (or space rock!), they’re usually just that. Now, for me, this bias comes from experiences that I have had in the spiritual community where instead of recommending therapy or medical treatment, people have advised others to just carry around specific crystals and not see a doctor, too. However, I also haven’t given crystal healing a fair chance because of this bias and my experiences in certain communities. It isn’t fair for me to say “oh, that doesn’t work and it’s silly” if I have never tried it myself.

Using Urine in Spellwork – Now, this one comes from more traditional workings and witchcraft. Urine has been used for hundreds of years in witch’s bottles, both by witches and by those wanting to keep witches away. Urine is a very powerful taglock, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. It has a lot to do with my own issues with bodily fluids and thinking that it’s gross, but I have never used urine in my workings and it’s because that voice in my head goes ewwwwww!

Moon Water – This is one that I have gone back and forth with for a long time and I am not sure if it’s my ego in the way or if moon water is just so overused online. I used to make moon water every Full Moon. Then you know what would happen? It would just sit there and my shelf. I would make it but then I would never use it. My feelings toward moon water are this → people tell others to make moon water just because it’s a popular and easy thing to do, but they don’t tell people what to do with the water afterward. Making moon water is not a requirement of anything and now? I don’t make it at all because I think there are better things I can be doing with my time

But how does ego hurt your growth?

Well, the simple answer is this → Don’t knock it 'til you try it!

You can really hinder your growth when you let emotion and negative connotation get in the way of trying new things. If I had a negative connotation about scrying, for example, and I never try it, I am limiting myself. If I never try it, I will never know if it works for me. It would also be dishonest of me to tell others that scrying doesn’t work or that I don’t like it. How do I know if I like it if I have never tried it?!

Now, that’s not to say that everything you try is going to work great for you. If I sat down to scry and make it a goal to scry every day for 30 days and have zero results? That’s fine. At least I tried! I will still be able to walk away from that experience with the knowledge that I suck at scrying If I don’t give things a fair chance, I am doing myself and my community a disservice.

It can also hurt your relationships!

How many times have you had a negative connotation with something and had that project onto someone in your life? If you don’t understand, I will give you an example. I have feelings about the Law of Attraction. Those feelings come from my own experiences as someone with mental health struggles being told that everything bad in my life has been my fault because I just can’t think positive.

I recently had someone in my life who never explicitly said they practiced the Law of Attraction but their mannerisms and behavior very much gave me that feeling. I started to project my feelings of resentment and discontent for the Law of Attraction onto this person that was supposed to be helping me. I did this without any evidence that this person did anything wrong. They never blamed me. They never told me that positive thoughts will make everything better. But still, because some of their mannerisms matched that of people who practice the Law of Attraction, my feelings got projected onto this person unfairly.

This isn’t to say that we should ignore our feelings from past experiences. In fact, I think this is a great way to keep us safe. It can turn into a very gray area in terms of letting our past experiences influence our current thoughts and behaviors. Again, this is a time when you need to know yourself enough to tell the difference between when those experiences are necessary and when they aren’t.

So, what can we do?

Well, knock it off! I know, I know. Easier said than done! But one thing that I have found helpful in my own practice is recognizing when something is pushing buttons for no reason. I am also going to start experimenting more! If there is a practice I’ve never done, I’ll try it. One thing I’ll be doing here shortly is scripting! It’s never made sense to me and always made me scratch my head, but I’ve never tried it so it’s the perfect thing to do.

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Just because practices don’t vibe with us doesn’t mean they’re lesser or inadequate. We all have our strengths and we are all different! So, let’s be honest with each other. Have you ever let your ego get in the way of your growth? What’s something you’ve never done because of feelings but now you might try?

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Oh, and here's the video!

Is your EGO getting in the way of your growth? || Witchcraft Chats [CC]

[Rowan]

@MeganB This is a great topic and post. First I wanted to say that your examples aren’t judged by me, and shouldn’t be by anyone in my opinion. Each of us have difference of beliefs, practices, views, etc. And we all deserve respect in that fact.
Second, yes my ego does get in the way of my practice at times.
I totally relate to you on the moon water issue, I make it and make it and most of the time it sits on my altar. I try to remember to use it for my plants because I have seen results with them, but most of the time at least half of my bottle gets wasted each cycle, which leaves me feeling guilty to just dispose of it.
And some practices of others I may not vibe with, but it’s not up to me to begrudge that practice because I don’t vibe with it, to each their own I guess.
But that little voice is speaking for sure!
In the early parts of my path I would have agreed with you on the crystal aspect as well, but have seen/felt the positive results with including them in my practice and my life (with my daughters and family).
I’m also guilty of ego tripping when others who practice different methods of the craft, or have different views and just push the issue of their way being the right way and anything else is just less or irrelevant.
My practice may not vibe with everyone else or vice versa but to me that’s why I use the word “path” , we each walk a different one. For me there are no footprints in the sand to follow or guide me, there’s only my intuition and choices to use as a roadmap.
Thank you for creating this post and also for opening up about your thoughts on it.
Blessed Be,

[Velle]

Oh my gosh I am so bad about rolling my eyes and scoffing at every trend and trendfollower I see. the Moldavite thing was definitely one of them.
Another big one that gets under my skin is the sage craze. White sage is suffering over harvesting because it’s suddenly fashionable to just use it willy nilly I suppose despite the fact you are taking this sacred resource away from indigenous peoples and religions/spiritualities that have used it for a very long time. That one I feel is reasonable to be judgy on but I dunno… now I feel the urge to reanalyze my school of thought

My biggest hangups when it comes to practice, and the reason why I’ve never done rituals, (zoom last week was actually the first one I’ve ever done!) Is chanting or saying the incantations aloud. It makes me so self conscious and anxious and I really don’t know why. Journaling does the same thing.

[praecog29]

Thank you, Megan. I admittedly struggle with the idea of separate paths at this point in my life. I think it’s because I’m tired, though. I’m tired of Pinterest, YouTube, and other social media versions of faith and practice. These are common starting points, but so many people stay there instead of experiencing more and learning more from other resources. It’s hard for me to comprehend.

There are things I do that bring me comfort. I love Selene. I do make moon water. I have a few crystals for my altar. I run the Energy Exchange Circle. Clearly I’m open to something outside of science but I’ve seen too few - in every faith I’ve explored - even consider doctors and modern medicine/science as real possibilities that I think I’ve set myself on the opposite end of the spectrum. There’s the ego! Thinking my voice alone could change the tide and get people to find a healthier balance of faith and science.

[MeganB]

@Rowan – Thank you! I hope no one passes judgment I like what you said there at the end, that it’s okay if your path doesn’t vibe with everyone else and that the only footprints in the sand are your own

@Velle – The first step to overcoming it is being honest about it! The moldavite craze still makes me roll my eyes because it’s really been blown out of proportion due to TikTok, in my opinion. Now it’s very expensive! I think being cautious of using white sage is a good thing, especially if you’re purchasing it from conventional stores.

I have been told by several Indigenous people that if you don’t call the practice smudging (unless you were taught that, of course) and you buy white sage ethically or grow it yourself, it’s totally fine to use! And I feel you on the chanting thing. It’s hard for me to even say a prayer out loud let alone a chant or spell! Practice makes perfect, though, or at least makes you feel less silly

@praecog29 – Ben! I 100% agree with you even as someone with a YouTube channel and podcast. It’s one of my biggest issues with social media in general. Everything seems so superficial and fake. I do admit, though, that only so much can be shown on social media. I’m not about to show my breakdowns during ritual, my funky crazy dances to raise energy, or the fact that 90% of deity communication is just sitting in silence

Anyway, I don’t think that’s your ego wanting to change the tide and have people find a healthier balance. I actually feel the same way and I think it comes from compassion and empathy for the rest of the world, not ego. It may come from a desire to see everyone happy and healthy in all ways and not just brushing off science, because we know that can be detrimental

[anon87969570]

I make a urine offerring every morning - to the porcelain offerring bowl in my bathroom. It’s going to take a lot for me to use urine as a magickal tool. Not sorry.

But your point is well taken. I describe myself as “astrology agnostic,” meaning that I am studying it and trying to keep an open mind. I do use moon water. I use it in the offerring bowl to Danu, and after a day or so dispose of it by watering my plants with it.

What is “right” for others may not be right for me, and vice versa. I don’t need to judge what is right or real for them, that’s not my place. I only need to explore and find what is right for me.

An example for me is working with deities. I do not read every event as deity related or caused. They are not working with me to absolve me of all responsibilities. Every negative event is not evidence of a displeased deity, just as every accomplishment is not Their working. I revere, I do not grovel. But that’s me, and what works for others is what works for them.

I like that you brought this up, and respect that you put yourself out there.

[Garnet]

Native American’s used urine in the process of making leather lighter in color, to the point of being white.

[mary25]

Thank you for your post. I love the weekly challenges because they make me try new things I wouldn’t have tried before. And that seems to carry over to the rest of my life. I am a creature of habit and flexibility is not one of my greatest strengths. But because I do (or at least think about a challenge), now I am a little more open minded about trying new things in other parts of my life, which I have read is important for brain health (e.g., taking a different route home). And isn’t it funny where it can take you? I was stuck in a slow lane in traffic today and was just about to inwardly grumble when I looked to the side and saw a beautiful family of deer grazing down the hill. I would have never seen that if I had switched over into the faster lane and it made my afternoon

[mary25]

Oh about the moon water. I guess this apropos of nothing but we had a massive thunderstorm here about oh, 10 days or so ago with so much lightning. It was exciting. On impulse, I put a jar out to catch the water and Googled it to see if that was a magic “thing.” That’s how I learned about storm magic Anyway, it said you could put the lightning water in the bathtub or even the laundry. I mention it because I suppose you could do the same thing with moon water, if you had some that needed using up.

[MeganB]

@anon87969570 – That’s very true about the morning offering! Thank you for taking the time to read the post I’m definitely that way, as you said astrology agnostic with a few things. I’m working on a few magical experiments right now, so we’ll see how they go!

@Garnet – Ahh yes, I remember that from my history lessons in school!

@mary25 – Thanks for reading! That’s one reason I love the challenges, too. Sometimes I get so stuck in my own way of doing things that it doesn’t even cross my mind to do something differently. I also like that I get to see everyone else’s ways of thinking, too. I’ve made storm water before, but you’ve got to be careful with that! Especially if it’s rain. Don’t leave it sitting for too long and sterilize it before you bathe with it. That stuff can get gross

[Garnet]

@mary25

Oh about the moon water. I guess this apropos of nothing but we had a massive thunderstorm here about oh, 10 days or so ago with so much lightning. It was exciting. On impulse, I put a jar out to catch the water and Googled it to see if that was a magic “thing.” That’s how I learned about storm magic Anyway, it said you could put the lightning water in the bathtub or even the laundry. I mention it because I suppose you could do the same thing with moon water, if you had some that needed using up.

Well sweet Mary, you could consecrate it and make it holy water for your altar.

[Abs53]

I have done a lot of work on my ego the last couple of years.

I have been (and still sometimes am) guilty of scoffing at some things I think are completely unrealistic. I have an appreciation of science and as I suffered some Catholic trauma have been wary of “belief” or believing in a higher power.

I struggled a lot as a child to reconcile the idea that God could punish or dislike me for certain aspects of my base nature, that weren’t actually causing pain or hurt to another in someway. My sexuality, for example.

However, I could never escape the connection I felt to my spiritual self; to something else, non tangible but unmistakably powerful.

That lead me to the path of Paganism as a young girl, which I’ve been walking ever since.

Over the lockdown, I revisited my books and refreshed my knowledge and that’s when I chose to do some serious work on my ego. I was reminded of how diverse a community the Pagan one is and some of it’s key beliefs; right of choice and personal responsibility leapt out at me and I’ve been working on them ever since!

I have a certain belief that science is a form of answered prayer, of manifesting, or spell work - whatever you want to call it.

I believe the Divine gave us the tools we need to better humanity, to create medicine, to end world wrongs but it’s up to us to create that reality.

In that case, who the hell am I to say that someones practices are less than? Some people would look at my practices and think I’m having some sort of mental break, I’m sure. So, even if some things may sound absurd to me, maybe these types of Magick work, or at the very least, work for that person in some way. I don’t have all the answers.

I’m not saying I’m completely non judgemental and gracious of everyone else’s practices now, but I think I’m improving

Sometimes I think taking the piss is so deeply embedded into my culture, ill never fully escape it! But, I am trying.

[Garnet]

Jees, I still roll my eyes at some things. But I, too am working on it.

[Abs53]

Another way of looking at it

Courtesy of @thewkdwitch on Instagram

@moderators not sure if this will still need blurring or if the censor was enough?

[mary25]

Oh, yikes! I didn’t know that! Thanks for telling me, whew!

[MeganB]

@Abs53 – I’m still guilty of scoffing sometimes too It can be hard for sure, but I’m also doing my best to improve myself! Also, I think the meme is fine

@mary25 – Yes! Without getting off topic, you can DM me if you’d like more info on that

[robin77]

A very good and vulnerable post! I started shadow work this year and it has led me to start understanding my ego and my “why” in some things. And I believe you’re right - we all struggle with it at some point. Part of the human experience I guess and one of the things to continue to practice and work on

[anon87969570]

I like to say that science is just a craft with different rituals.

[Garnet]

Ron, that statement to me, was almost profound. I wanted to put my hands on hips and say, “Yeh! So there!”
Oh, my goodness, I’m really sassy this morning.

[anon87969570]

Sassy or not, you are super supportive to everyone here and we love you for it!