@Kasandra āMay I be free of my anger at lastā this line resonates with me. That definitely brings peace.
7 Likes
In doing the Forgiveness challenge, I found so much rage and anguish.
FOR NO REASON. Looking back at my High School class, I donāt remember when, but Iād been invited to a reunion and ātheyā had become āThose people. I had nothing in common with any of them.ā What an arrogant little p_$$pot. I was not only shamed by my behavior but embarrassed.
I needed to learn to forgive myself over that one.
It actually became easier to deal with my mother and forgiveness than with the person I had been then. Thatās another reason Iām leery of Shadow work. I donāt want to remember what an unpleasant person I was.
After that eww factor memory, Iāve decided that nostalgia is going to be put in a box marked, Do not open! Ever!
Bless you all,
Garnet (The almost Grinch)
10 Likes
@jessica72 Thank you, what a sweet response!
Having a shit kinda morning today, this just helped!
Blessed Be,
7 Likes
Itās time for a friendly reminder!
This challenge will close TOMORROW
If you would like to participate and havenāt done so already, please post about your challenge experience(s) by the deadline: Tomorrow: December 14th, 7:00 AM EST (Eastern Standard Time Zone)
Blessed be! 
6 Likes
@Christina4 Condolosences about the loss of your friend- it sounds like the ritual brought back some nostalgia that was both happy and sad at the same time. It sounds like you can feel that he is resting at peace now, and I hope the farewell ritual helped you to find your inner peace as well. So much love to you! 
@Debra2 It sounds like you carry a lot of pain in your heart- sending you a big hug! While I do not know the details and cannot speak to any of the wrongs that were done, I am sorry that those who were so treasured by you left the way they did. It is easy to become lost in seeking meanings or reasons, so my best advice to you would be to focus on how you can heal yourself- as you are a strong, wonderful, capable person all on your own! 
Take the love you so kindly shared with others and remember to save some for yourself- indulge in self love and self care as you embark on the long journey towards both healing and freedom. Iām cheering for you, Debra! 
And absolutely stunning spellwork on forgiveness- what a powerful entry! Thank you so much for sharing 
@Rowan Beautifully written as always 
And agreed- I really think there should be some kind of Empathy Class that teaches forgiveness in schools, itās such a valuable thing to learn about! And no worries- you said it perfectly that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, it certainly doesnāt mean we have to come to like to even be nice to the person whose actions we are putting behind us. That being said, your story has a very happy and successful ending- you are amazing for being able to move beyond the past and reach the point youāve gotten to! You have a very strong heart, Rowan- congrats to you
@Susurrus Grounding work and journalling are really successful and helpful ways to work through problems (and even reveal things that we didnāt know were holding us down!) and seek out freedom through forgiveness. I know Iāve said it before, but you are always learning and growing, Siofra, and I am so proud of how far you have come even in the short time weāve known each other. A huge congrats to you!
@Kasandra Frozen and The Ice Dragon make quite the pair for inspiration! Beautiful spellwork, Kasandra- sorry that nature didnāt want to lend a hand this time around. I imagine the snowy days will be here before we know it (although then again, the weather is so unpredictable these days). I love the note you included for those who donāt live in wintery climates- a freezer is always a good substitute. Thank you so much for sharing this lovely spell! 
@Amethyst For all the adjectives I love to use (sometimes too much, I know 
), I just canāt find the right words to be able to adequately describe this pieceā¦ you really poured your heart into it and it shines through with every word. The loss of your father and situation with your mother is a very heavy burden to bear, especially when you were so young. Your spellwork here is lovely and the words are so powerful- the focus on healing and freedom really rings. I had to stop and read the line āforgiveness is a giftā over and over- because it is so true. You always sweep me away with your words- I canāt say it enough.
I could go on and on about how powerful this is- beautiful work, Amethyst. Just beautiful
@Janis You have already come a long way on your path towards wellness, Janis- a huge congrats to you! Forgiveness is an important piece of the puzzle of wellbeing, and it sounds like you have found your freedom and inner acceptance. Beautiful chant and lovely spellwork, and I love your note about taking a walk in nature to conclude the spell! I can see mental, emotional, and physical wellness in this spellwork- you did such a great job! 
@Christine13 Iām so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your father, Christine. You are so strong for overcoming inner obstacles and expressing forgiveness to your father. Your emotions and inner journey shine through in this beautiful ritual- it is such a lovely self-healing spell And bonus points for tea magick- it really is such a wonderful medium for healing work! Thank you so much for sharing
@Garnet I can say with confidence that you arenāt alone about looking back on high school years with disdain and anger. I think many of us- myself certainly included- associate that time of our lives with a lot of pain and struggles and those emotions can take over pretty easily. Iām glad you are finding your forgiveness and also learning where to draw your lines- there are indeed some things that we are not ready to dig into! You are wise for being careful about Shadow Work. Lots of love!
10 Likes
I read something extremely raw and powerful about the nature of guilt, and it gave me a lot to think. Or more precisely, a lot to release. It all comes down to how feeling guilty or punishing ourselves in some other way can make us feel like weāre actually doing something helpful. Itās just another of those things how we get in our own way.
The book I read that in was The Play of Awakening: Adventures in Direct Realization Tantra by Shambhavi Sarasvati. It describes quite a few common patterns of how our ego tends to trip us up, and tips about how to stay focused on your spiritual path whether Tantra or something else. 
The text can be a little thorny at times though and may trigger some of those ego defenses so fair warning! This pretty much goes in the realm of shadow work too.
Long quote from the book, click to open
Many people suffer from a tension they call āguilt.ā Guilt is a tricky little small I survival pattern. Guilt uses the mask of responsibility to avoid responsibility and maintain destructive habit patterns.
Guilt draws attention away from the reality of my actions and toward small selfās feeling of guilt. By feeling really guilty, I try to fool everyone into thinking I am taking responsibility, but I am actually running away from responsibility and sucking energy out of others.
Usually, guilt demands sympathy from those very others who have been most affected by my action or inaction. Guilt is āmeā focused instead of Real Situation focused. Guilt is a technique for evading responsible action.
If we injure an animal with our car, we try to do something to alleviate the animalās suffering. We donāt stand idly at the curb moaning about how guilty we feel about the plight of animals. We donāt demand that others attend to our guilt while leaving the actual animal to suffer alone. Or maybe we do.
Guilt always tries to perpetuate itself. Have you ever tried to talk a person out of feeling guilty? Guilt just uses this attention to fuel itself. No matter how sensible and reality-based you are with a guilty person, they can always return to the status quo by claiming I feel so guilty! In this way, cultivating guilt helps to keep the guilty person primed and ready to return to the same irresponsible behaviors.
How does this work? Guilt is a pay out. You do something destructive to yourself and others. Then you pay for your behavior with the āpunishmentā of feeling guilty. After this, you are free to return to the same pattern. Or likely you are in the pattern and feel guilty all at the same time. You pay as you go.
Guilty people also apologize without any real intention of changing their situation. Even worse is when they ask for forgiveness. Instead of quietly and efficiently rectifying their behavior, they ask someone else to perform the work of a priest.
For people who are stuck with guilt, this pattern usually happens over and over again. Itās really exhausting. The guilty should get angry at guilt and its ploys. Guilt is like a bad houseguest who eats your food and leaves you with an enormous utility bill.
The truth is, none of us needs to be forgiven for our ignorance and mistakes. Having an experience of limitation is just a natural aspect of the life process. But waking up is being responsive and responsible to your real situation. You have the opportunity to practice and discover more of your human situation and its potentials, and you seize this opportunity.
A friend told me he felt guilty about something. Then he said, I suppose Tantrikas donāt feel guilty. True. But we do feel healthy regret. When we regret our actions, we are saying that we see their consequences, and we intend to do our best to relax the tensions that caused us to act in a certain ignorant way.
Regret acknowledges that we cannot change what has already happened, but we can have an impact on what is going to happen. This is responsibility without narcissism. Regret acknowledges the harm we have caused to ourselves and others, but it doesnāt wring pity out of people.
No matter how destructive a pattern has been, we can always make a decision to use our practice and begin to relax those tensions. We can do better the next time. Sometimes we take vows to help us with this. Sometimes we are able, because of the grace inherent in the totality of a situation, to develop more clarity and change our patterning in that moment.
For people who habitually express their suffering in the form of guilt, to recognize the real nature of guilt can be an experience like taking a big breath of fresh, cold mountain air. Relaxing the grip of guilt to let in honest regret also lets in self-compassion and compassion for others. We are no longer locked up in our cage of guilt, continually reinforcing our root sense of separation. We can rejoin the human family, and even appreciate that clever trickster guilt as we say goodbye.
10 Likes
Janis,
I love Rhodochrosite
Hello, Janis, I have this stone for self-acceptance as well. I actually have a owl 
stone so I just love this stone!
These are great affirmations to as well thank you again for your inner teachings too! I think I will copy these affirmations down in the B.O.S
Jeannie
9 Likes
I think I was lucky. See, Dad could always tell when someone was going to die. Heād call up an old army buddy out of nowhere and hear that heād passed a week or so after heād called. So when Dad told me that he wouldnāt live to see me graduate from high school, I believed him and was somewhat prepared, despite the shock of it. But for Mom and other people it came out of the blue, he was at work the day before he passed.
Iām just glad I didnāt get his talent. That had to have been a creepy one to have.
That was beautiful @christine13! Well done!
Thank you so much for liking it! I was a bit worried because it didnāt rhyme but it came from the heart.
That was beautiful but sad all at once. Guilt is a trap, I agree. Itās just hard to get out sometimes.
9 Likes
What a beautiful entry! Iām so sorry to hear that you have so recently lost your Dad. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal after it just recently happened. You really are an amazing person to have the inner strength to come to terms with that, no matter the circumstances of your relationship. It was beautiful what you wrote. I really love how you focused on self-healing and incorporated crystals into your work. I lost my Dad many years ago but reading your post brought back so many memories.
9 Likes
Hello everyone,
Iām glad that you all liked the challenge. Thanks so much, @BryWisteria for creating this beautiful activity for all.
A lot of things had happened since I decided to do this challenge, but I think the most important thing is that I wrote a letter to my mom, I used to do it a lot when I was a kid. It was certainly a forgiveness letter, where I let my feelings flow, I told her that I choose to remember the good memories when she was a good mom than when she wasnāt. Iām planning to enchant it before Christmas and give her the letter as a gift.
Sending you all good vibes. Happy Moonday 
10 Likes
This was as it always seems to be a well-timed challenge for me to work on.
I have a hard time letting go of emotional things sometimes to the point that it affects me physically. I tend to fixate on hurts or potential hurts that I catastrophize and get locked in a cycle where Iām hurt and angry and continue to makes choices that worsen the situation instead of releasing the feelings and reclaiming my own energy.
I know Iāve needed to do a cord cutting ritual for someone in my life that continues wind up my anxiety and insecurities with her own issues. I take on and exagerrate her anxiety and lash out by cutting ties abrubtly without explanation to the ones I love. I know I need to let go and let her issues be her own. But I think part of me doesnāt know what to do without it. Who Iād be without the downward spirals. I print out the rituals and then tuck them away. Until things get out of hand and I wonder why Iām back at the same spot yet again feeling the same horrible way knowing Iām partly to blame.
I probably could and need to do a few Forgiveness rituals but the one thatās eating me up right now takes precidence.
I chose to use the Forgiveness Ritual and toss in a cord-cutting element. I wrote her name on a piece of paper and imagined how I would feel without the anxiety, the anger, the drama in my life. I focused on it clearly then lit the small scrap of paper containing her name on fire. And it fizzled out. Several attempts failed so I reexamined my intent and resolve and realized I was still holding on. I found a larger piece of paper to scribble her name upon. Balled it up and tossed it into my metal incense burner. I had a piece of twine nearby as well. I lit the crumpled paper afire and the blaze took this time. I grabbed the twine and held it over the flame as the paper moldered into glowing ash. The flame broke the twine with a snap that surprised me. I felt it not only in my soul but in my body.
Am I fixed? Maybe not yet. But Iām working on it for onceā¦ Iāve stopped insisting that I have to hold on to the pain, anxiety, and anger.
Thank you for this challenge and for the amazing ritual which is sure to become a part of my practice.
Kat
12 Likes
My challenge entry is here: https://forum.spells8.com/t/my-forgiveness-challenge-entry/17323
9 Likes
Oh, Christine, this is absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for sharing this! I love your words, your thoughts, your ritual, all of it! Blessings and Light to you!
7 Likes
Hello Witches,
For this challenge, I decided to do a tarot spread that I made myself!
First Card- What do I need to forgive?
Second card? Why do I need to forgive?
Third- Who I need to forgive!
Well it helped to write things out and I discovered I am trying to forgive but this is a process that I canāt take care of in one week.
Today I decided to make a forgiveness potion charm bag to help with that process!
- Rosemary
*Aster
*Lavender
*Vevarian
*Peppermint
*Sage
Sage-Air, Guidance, healing, peace, protection, release, strength, well-being wishes stability
Rosemary- Banish negativity, binding, Comfort, Confidence, emotions, honesty, empowerment, protection, Magical mental protection, psychic spiritual psychic ability, purification will power,
wisdom and release
Rose
Hekate
Banish negativity and forgive, bless, courage, healing, patience, peace
, psychic abilities, love
Lavender- Air Hekate
Anger, anxiety, grief, relationships, release, support, stress, wishes
Vevarian- Air, Earth, and Fire
Diana, Persephone
Calm, banish emotions, challenges, Justice, healing, breaks hexes, inner power, protection
Peppermint
Challenges, healing, the mind Release sensitivity
Aster- love Moon Self acceptance
Happiness, innocence, to let go and to move on, transformation, messages, accomplishments, balance, goals, gratitude, grounding
Red candle- Love
Red Jasper
So more it be!
I think taking the necessary steps and continuing doing energy work which will help me balance out everything! Love and light 
Blessed be!
Jeannie
14 Likes
When this challenge came up. I read some articles on forgiveness, research on what forgiving and forgetting are defined as. And for myself, to better grasp at this challenge, carved out resentment/ill will from the forgiveness definition and used forgiveness more in the legal term. So I created 3 categories: forgiving, resentment/ill will, and forgetting to sort my situation out.
The situation I was trying to figure out, is with my biological mother. Then I played back the incidents with my mother who has not been too good of a force in my life growing up to write the least.
FORGIVING: Contemplating on how to āforgiveā her, or have I been too āforgivingā. With the research I did, and the categorization. I realized, there is nothing for me to forgive her for because I do not have any legal claims criminal of civil against her. Yes, one can sue one for anything, but will I win, most likely not.
RESENTMENT AND ILL WILL: Yeah, I could perform a certain type of spell, but there are so much better things to use my magic and energy for. (I recall early on in my practice, wanted to perform a ātypeā of spell on something else, I was so wrapped up in my emotions. BUT before I did that, I inquired of the tarot, about me performing this spell, and drew the 7 of Cups. From this card, read it as telling me, āyes you can, but you do have choices on how to use your magicā, yes, there is the cup with the snake, but there is also a cup with riches, and other cups with other stuff in it, the tarot was elbowing me āthere are better things to use it forā. I agreed, I have choices, I choose better, and not to taint my magic with such. With that choice, coupled with this challenge, I put away the resentment and ill will (there was a lot of it) because Iām not going to do anything with it, sheās not that important of a cause to me - I managed growing up without her, so itās just going to eat at me, which it has. The only thing I can do is not to forget.
FORGETTING: Now the issue I have that got me into trouble, my problem, and that is in forgetting what she did to me, and with that failing to take stock of what happened when I was 16-17 years old, with my own eyes, ears, and experiences how bad she was, and from there on create the best plan and course of action on how to handle her and that is to not have anything to do with her again. But I didnāt, still let her back in, time and time again. Just left me disappointed, upset, lowered my self-esteem, and taxing by adding on to my resentment and ill will. Now Iām riding on that plan.
I will not forget again. Especially now that I wrote it down. Going to keep this logged and if she rears her head again, pull what I wrote up, and remind myself. I wrote the situation down in greater detail, itās miserable though, so I left it out.
11 Likes
Happy birthday @steph Iām sorry that youāve got troubles on your mind for your birthday. Sending you a very big hug with love and light xxx
@Eliza_01 I agree that you shouldnāt forget. Those memories remind us of what we are moving away from and why. I hope that you can find even a little bit of peace. Sending you lots of love and light with a very big hug.
@Jeannie1 I love that you made a charm bag. I think what you made is absolutely lovely. You have inspired me. Ever since I made my spell jar for the last challenge I have had an itchy witchy fingers to make another as I think that it worked. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful entry. Sending you lots of love and light back.
9 Likes
Iām so grateful for this challenge. As I meditated on forgiving my coworker whom I was once as close to and supportive of , until she set out to hurt me due to jealousy of my friendship with another coworker. it was reveled to me I had more than her to forgive.
Many things resurfaced from my childhood and I realized I held some resentment towards my mother of her acceptance with my other siblings and me at times feeling like the black sheep.
I have identified a lot of things that hurt me , I thought I had forgiven her, however this challenge showed me I hadnāt and I had some shadow work to do.
I completed the forgiveness ritual , and been meditating and carrying my rose quartz reminding me of love and light always .
Since Iāve been able to deal with my coworker without having any feelings towards her. Iām still working on that. However Iām no longing dwelling on the problems I had with her.
My relationship with my mom has always been strong , but from a distance. This has helped me communicate with my mom more calmly, and she listens. Iāve learned somethings that help me understand my mom more and her me.
I open up to her about my life and becoming a witch, surprisingly my mom opened up to me about my family practices with magick , rituals and spells. My mom is t shame as expected, but protected me and explained why she stepped away from the family practices. Our bond has grown even stronger , though thereās still more work to be done .
I feel at peace and have let go of anger towards my coworker mom and sister.
Forgiving feels so much better than holding on to anger! I know Iāll have to keep my Armour on and stay in control of my thoughts to continue moving forward 
11 Likes
So happy to hear that after this challenge your feeling better 
I really like how you said
That is such a great mindset to have! Thank you for sharing an amazing challenge entry!
11 Likes