👥 Weekly Witchy CHALLENGE - Freedom in Forgiveness

BryWisteria · December 9, 2021, 2:25pm

This is really powerful, I think you worded it very well @Kasandra Sometimes people’s paths branch off and go in different directions. That doesn’t mean the time you were together isn’t valuable, just that you got everything you were meant to from them and now it’s time for something new

Wishing you all the best with your draconic ritual- may it help you find the peace you are seeking in order to put this to rest and move forward

To @Jem1, @Amethyst, and anyone else struggling- it is indeed a challenge! If you’d like to do some brainstorming or work through some ideas, you are very welcome to share them here for feedback or advice- the challenge can be as personal or communal as you’d like it to be

Good luck and many blessings!

It is a fantastic idea- thanks again for sharing it, WhiteFox! There are already a few challenge entries shared that have all been really heartfelt and powerful- I’m looking forward to seeing how else the coven chooses to pursue forgiveness in magick!

It takes a lot of strength and incredible honesty and openness within yourself to be able to reach this realization- a huge congrats to you, Jessica! I know you have been carrying this burden with your ex for a long time and it has really weighed you down, but it looks like you have found the light and are always moving forward towards your own happiness and freedom You’re amazing- thanks again for such a powerful entry, and I’m cheering you on!

A huge congrats to you, Christine- it sounds like you were finally able to take back the power and find your freedom and peace. That takes a lot of work and effort to reach that point- I’m so happy for you!

What a great analogy to use for describing forgiveness- thank you for sharing it here, BrightBear! It sounds like you have come a long way on your journey towards healing- a huge congrats to you for all the work you’ve done!

Beautifully said, Jeannie!

christina4 · December 9, 2021, 2:42pm

I just did the farewell letter to an old friend of mine who I grew up with that passed away. He and I had the same birthday and we called each other twin, even though we looked nothing alike.

I’m not sure how he passed but I would have loved to see him one last time because he scammed me once about 5 years ago. I know he wasn’t his true self. When I wrote the letter, I explained that I accepted what happened and I forgive him.

He had a horrible life towards his final last few months. He was a wanted felon. While on the run, he was hit by a train and his leg had to be amputated. I don’t want to contact his family to ask how he passed, I think that’s just rude.

After writing the letter and burying it in the garden (before the ground gets too hard), I feel some closure. After that I cried because I miss him, reminiscing about all the times a bunch of us went camping and canoeing, hiking, going out for lunch. We even went to soccer camp together for two years in a row. I know he’s in peace and with his mother.

RyuWyn · December 9, 2021, 3:41pm

I know it’s not easy to say good-bye but I’m glad you found some closure.

debra2 · December 9, 2021, 5:41pm

Saying you forgive someone is easy to say, but to really forgive them in your heart sometimes is hard to do at the time. It is the way she chose to go out that hurts and she was my big sister that I could talk to about anything and then there is my last love that just ended things, without saying why.
I’m not sure which way to go, they both broke parts of me and they are still leaving me where I shy away, afraid to have my heart broken again.

Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you to @RyuWyn for thinking of this challenge and thank you to @BryWisteria for giving us all an opportunity with this challenge of Finding Freedom in Forgiveness.
I guess I really did need this since I’m teary-eyed, heart beating faster, throat a little tight, and having to blow my nose just by even thinking of them, the hurt is still there.

I wish we all can get some Freedom from our hurts.

Blessed be.

RyuWyn · December 9, 2021, 6:04pm

Hey Debra, I’m sorry to know that you’ve been hurt, but that’s what makes us humans (make mistakes and hurt others and get hurt so we can learn empathy and compassion).

What works for me is by starting to acknowledge that the wound is there, and cry the tears my heart feels to cry, without stopping it, without judging, just let the feelings flow, after a while, the tears will come less and less until you reach a balance where you’re not afraid of crying nor feeling sad and start thinking calmly, there is where you can start resolving. So give yourself time and space to feel what it’s needed, the rest will come later.

I send you light and love

debra2 · December 9, 2021, 6:22pm

Thank you @RyuWyn that does make sense. I did all the crying for days until there were no more tears. It’s been a few years since my sister passed, I feel I could now let her go and forgive. But for the boyfriend, it is still a little too soon ( October ) I’m still struggling with.

Thank you WhiteFox for your support, light & love.
Blessed be

Amethyst · December 9, 2021, 7:20pm

I’m glad you got some sense of closure from your letter @christina4 . I’m thinking of doing something like that myself.

Susurrus · December 10, 2021, 3:00am

I have had this happen & it is painful when things happen through life & then you’re right people change. Please be gentle with yourself & remember that as your life was moving, so was hers & they went in 2 different directions. It’s going to take time & things will get lighter as you acknowledge & forgive.

@jessica72 as the lively @Amethyst said, it took a long time for the damage to get to where it was & you found the strength to move on & have been building on that to get where you are today. Every little bit helps you get closer to being authentic you & free to love again.

Rowan · December 11, 2021, 1:11am

Rowan’s Weekly Challenge-Freedom In Forgiveness

Ahh forgiveness…the thing I struggled with as a kid into my young adult life. It felt too easy, to simple of a thing to do for things done or said that hurt very deeply. Later, I learned that forgiveness is more so for ourselves rather than the guilty offender/s. Hanging on to that hateful, hurtful, negative energy just eats us up internally, not to mention clouding our judgement.
I thought about this challenge for the last few days, trying to decide to post or not post. But I decided forward movements mean progress and being able to talk about a situation that was deserving of forgiveness would be evidence of my progress and growth as a person.
In my situation, a person came into my life through the shadows in a sense, hidden from my being able to get to know of and about them. A significant event took place which put this person in my life for the long haul. To me, I felt forced to fulfill a role in a relationship with a person I never got to know. Through out the years, hatred formed out of situations that to me, with the already pre-dispositioned distrust and vagueness about this person, I always felt on guard or suspicious of. I wasn’t seeing this person as someone genuine because I was never given the chance to meet them before they held a permanent place in my family. It was hard…living with someone that had (what appeared at the time) so little regard for me and my family.
It was so easy then to dislike this person and feed my mind with the carousel of nasty thoughts about them just to validate myself because I felt wronged or forced into having a relationship with a stranger.
Maybe this doesn’t sound exactly how it should, I don’t know. There’s more to the story, but it was facts at the time that made sense, felt right to feel because of situations that took place then.
Anyway, my dislike for this person increased it seemed year after year, I would try to just let shit go, and find some sort of common ground to relate to them with, but failed every time. I tried letters, conversations, etc. Nothing worked.
It wasn’t until this year when I just took a few days of thinking and organizing each nasty or hurtful situation and just picked them apart…trying to figure out why I felt the way I did and was there something deep rooted within me that charged the negative energy behind them.
Being honest, I still had a few issues I couldn’t let go of, but it wasn’t with this person directly, more so their family.
I am a big person for honesty, loyalty, trust, and just overall “genuine” people. I can’t take “fake”. If I say or do something to offend or hurt someone somehow, I’d rather sit down and talk it out, tell me what I did or said to be an a$$hole, you’ll earn my apology or an explanation, but most of all my respect.
Anyway back to the topic, this year after I just got real with myself and listened, really listened to my feelings, I was able to get to a place of intention for forgiveness. For the person and for myself. I had a pretty white rock sitting on one of my shelves, and I decided to write down every adjective I could come up with connected to the person and our situation/history on a piece of paper. As I wrote each word, I tied all that emotion and memory related to it as well. I then wrapped the heavy white rock with my paper, tied it with twine and lit a white/pink candle. When I went to the beach a few days later, I cast that rock out to the waves, seeing in my mind all the bad and wrongfully cradled negative emotions washing away.
At that moment, it was freeing. Like the choice of that heavy rock was the burden of hate, the mist of clouded judgement, the misconceptions, the misunderstandings that had weighed me down for years in relation to this person.
Since then, things are better with this person. We actually enjoy each others company it seems, and have connected through the craft as well. I am grateful now that she is a part of my family and I hope she is happy to be in it.
I won’t say my feelings were wrong, and neither were hers. We both felt what we felt at that time, but it was time to let the past go and along with it the hurt and anger.

Amethyst · December 11, 2021, 1:54am

You did a good thing letting go @Rowan. That sounded like it was a difficult thing to do but you did right by yourself and the other person in the end and that’s all that matters. I’m glad things are better with this person.

Susurrus · December 11, 2021, 2:19am

Weekly Challenge Entry

I have struggled with my entry for this week’s challenge. I wasn’t sure how to approach it or what to do with it. I can think of things that need to be addressed with forgiveness & some things that I have recently done for myself to be able to move forward.

When I get to a place where a person or situation needs forgiveness after whatever it is that has happened in the past, I must work through ALL my feelings whether they are emotionally or physically charged. I journal about them, maybe do a shadow worksheet or using my Book of Mirrors prompts from that I have saved from Spells8. I must work through my feelings, release them, write them a letter & give it to the universe.

I usually like to do a Grounding Ritual before I do any of the journaling & I will do a type of self-care or self-love guided meditation or for forgiveness specifically afterward. It depends on who or what situation I am forgiving.

It’s not hard for me to forgive, I am now a very ask me a question & I will give you the answer. Please just ask or talk to me. If there is an issue, then we need to figure it out to move forward. I also need to be more self-aware to be able to step back & go over both sides to either figure it out or see where the fracture in the relationship or situation started. If the other person has moved on or left the situation permanently, then I make sure to ground, do a releasing ritual or letting go ritual of some kind & then follow up with self-love or self-care guided meditation I write about my feelings when making the decision & afterward.

These are decisions I Do Not take lightly, releasing relationships, but I always forgive myself and/or the other person for what transpired. I usually don’t place all the responsibility on one person or the other. I also consider what space the other person or situation is in at the time & where they may be in their lives.

I have found that if I follow through with processing all these things then the release & forgiveness are much more felt & I can feel the energy get lighter around me when it’s not consuming my energy & emotions. Through experience, it’s a very freeing feeling to be able to move forward once the forgiveness is fully offered & sent where it needs to go for healing of your own journey.

Amethyst · December 11, 2021, 4:44pm

You haven’t failed @mary25. It’s difficult to forgive someone who is still hurting you. And even worse, you could forgive her hurting you, but not your child. You are being the fierce Mama Bear he needs right now. Not having a kid I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through on his behalf. Give yourself a break. Just remember hate is an acid that hurts the vessel it holds more than the one it’s aimed at. Forgiveness will come in time. I have faith in you.

Jeannie1 · December 12, 2021, 6:20am

Christina,
Let the healing rain down love
You are a treasure don’t you forget that!
Jeannie

debra2 · December 12, 2021, 8:49am

Weekly Witchy Challenge - Freedom in Forgiveness - My Entry

I did an Internet search about Forgiveness & Freedom, and this is some of what I learned:

Why is forgiveness difficult?

It has the power to release freedom and happiness. It has the power to allow us to move forward without ever having to focus on the past. When we fail to forgive, it has the power to bind us and hold us captive to hurt and pain. … With this in mind, it is important to remember what forgiveness is really about.

Forgiveness is not justice . Justice usually involves an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, an apology, and some form of reward or punishment. Forgiveness should occur whether justice is withheld or not. Forgiveness is not about changing the other person, their actions, or their behavior.

True forgiveness means acknowledging that our suffering matters—to us, the one who’s lived it—whether or not the other person ever agrees with us. We say, you matter—to our own heart. And it bears repeating … we do all this with or without the other’s awareness. Forgiveness is an inside job.

Forgiveness can be a gift to yourself or to others, it may be something you receive, but it can also be a quality that describes a relationship where one must be capable of self-forgiveness in order to forgive others . … If hope gives you wings, forgiveness will often be what you will need to get off the ground

In other words, to forgive someone is to acknowledge that a wrong has been committed, but you do not hold that against a person. In light of these points, here are some characteristics of grace and forgiveness: patience, kindness, mercy, and most of love.

Forgiveness is defined as letting go of past grudges or lingering anger against a person or persons. When you are mad at someone but you then accept his apology and are no longer mad, this is an example of forgiveness. … The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Forgiveness doesn’t equal trust and it doesn’t t mean there won’t be consequences for the person or relationship and boundaries that need changing. Forgiveness will challenge you to grow — to love more deeply and to learn more about life and interacting with people. But, more importantly, forgiveness will set you free!

Simply put, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It sets you free from the bitterness and hurt you’re feeling inside. … On the other hand, Trust is not the same as forgiveness . Trust requires consistent action by the offender in order for trust to be granted.

When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment, and anger it harms us far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness frees us to live in the present. Reliving the wrong that was done to us keeps us living in the past and missing today’s beauty. Forgiveness allows us to move on without anger or contempt or seeking revenge.

But forgiveness does not mean acceptance. It never means saying it is ok what happened to you, or it was acceptable that someone hurt you. This is where people often get confused. You forgive someone for you, not for the other person.

From the ancient Greeks to the present day, forgiveness has typically been regarded as a personal response to having been injured or wronged, or as a condition, one seeks or hopes is bestowed upon one for having wronged someone else.

The negative consequences of not forgiving have been documented in studies that show that it can lead to emotional pain of anger, hate, hurt, resentment, bitterness and so on and as a consequence can create health issues, affect relationships and stop us from experiencing the freedom that forgiveness enables.

Forgiveness may not always be easy, but it can be easier with a few exercises and the right mindset. First, keep in mind that forgiveness is something you do for yourself to sever your emotional attachment to what happened.

True forgiveness means acknowledging that our suffering matters—to us, the one who’s lived it—whether or not the other person ever agrees with us. We say, you matter—to our own heart. And it bears repeating … we do all this with or without the other’s awareness. Forgiveness is an inside job

Forgiveness means giving up the suffering of the past and being willing to forge ahead with far greater potential for inner freedom. Besides the reward of letting go of a painful past, there are powerful health benefits that go hand-in-hand with the practice of forgiveness.
I checked this out first: How to write a forgiveness letter for self-healing; and I also checked
this out: How to write a forgiveness letter to yourself.

So after all I learned about Forgiveness, I decided I wanted Freedom from all of this Hurt,
Pain & Hurting Myself. I wrote up three Letters; one for my Sister, one for Justin, & one for Me. I laid out the hurts they have given to me and how they hurt me. I also told them how I have hurt them also and that keeping all of this hurt, resentment, anger, sadness, isn’t truly me. I have always found it easier to forgive others than to wait for them to Apologize to me; but when I’ve asked them to forgive me of the things I did or said, I usually from these two never got an answer, or with Justin, he would say yes when I asked for his forgiveness only to find out later, 3 years later and he lied to me about the reason he ended our relationship.

Then I lit a Pink & White Candles

I followed this Guided Meditation Forgiveness is Your Liberation: A Meditation for forgiveness & freedom by Dr. Arianna Opper on YouTube. Forgiveness is Your Liberation: A Meditation for Forgiveness & Freedom - YouTube

After the guided meditation I burned all three letters in my cauldron on my altar.

I blew out each candle and when they were all only ashes, I went outside and off of my property and let them blow in the wind of the universe. I do feel the weight being lifted off of my shoulders and I feel more at ease about forgiving them and myself.

Amethyst · December 12, 2021, 5:05pm

What a beautiful idea, letting the ashes be taken by the wind. Well done @debra2!

Kasandra · December 12, 2021, 5:18pm

Since winter is the perfect time for self-reflection on which old habits to break and what we need to let go of, this spell for forgiveness is centered around snow (or ice). I was inspired by Disney’s Frozen and the novella The Ice Dragon by George R. R. Martin.
I thought that were supposed to get some snow this weekend. Instead, we got a light dusting, then it warmed up to 60 degrees with heavy rain and high winds before temps plunged again. So, I had to put my paper in the freezer.

Draconic Forgiveness Spell To Let Go Of The Past

You Will Need:
1 Blue Candle
Paper
Pen/Pencil
Chamomile Tea (optional)
Snow

Light A Blue Candle On Your Altar.
Sit For A Moment And Meditate (With A Mug Of Chamomile Tea If You Wish) On Who Or What You Need To Forgive And When The Answer Comes To You, Write It Down.
Fold The Paper Thrice.
Go Outside And Notice The Cold Air Around You.
Find A Snowy Spot, And Say The Following:
The Wind Blows
The Snow Glows
The Ice Dragon Makes Its Presence Known
I Invoke The Power Of The Coldest Season
Behind Me, I Put The Past
Let It Go
Holding On To This Resentment Has No Rhyme or Reason
May I Be Free Of My Anger At Last
Let It Go
For My Sake, I Bury It All In The Snow
Let It Go
Bury The Piece Of Paper In The Snow, Allowing The Heat Of Your Anger/Resentment To Cool Down. When The Ground Begins To Thaw, The Snow And Your Anger/Resentment Will Melt Into The Earth.
If There Is Not Much Snow Or You Do Not Live Somewhere It Is Snows In The Winter, Place It In A Container Of Water And Put It In The Freezer And Leave It There Until Imbolc (Or Whenever The Ground Begins To Thaw) And Let The Ice,
Along With Your Anger/Resentment To Melt Into The Earth.

Amethyst · December 12, 2021, 5:30pm

Well. Here’s my entry for the week. It takes a bit of explaining though. I’m gonna be blurring some parts to keep from triggering people. See, my Dad died just days before my sixteenth birthday. And Mom, well, she wasn’t in any way prepared for him to pass. She was really broke up, as expected, to the point of saying that if I wasn’t alive, she would have killed herself to be with him.

Now at first, I thought it was just the grief talking and after time went by she’d be on more stable footing. But she never took that back and would even say it again at times. I became her caretaker in a way and I was just a teen, something I resented her for. After all, my Daddy had passed, she should have been thinking of me first.

But she always leaned on me after that. It would get stressful, especially when she’d call me at all hours at my job and things like that.

Anyhow, I always resented that, but I tried to never let on to her dying day. I took care of her the best I could but at times when I was really depressed, it wasn’t very good. So I thought a forgiveness spell would be a good thing for the both of us, letting her know in the Summerland that I forgive her and forgiving myself for not doing such a great job at times.

I used a pink candle anointed with lavender oil and lavender buds for forgiveness, love, and peace. I lit the candle and said this spell:

I call on the great Queen Rhiannon,
who forgave her trespassers with a loving heart.
Intercede for __ and I,
for she/he has passed and I have regrets.

Let them know I love them
and regret not doing all I could.
Let __ know I forgive them for the
pressure they put me under, unintentionally or not.

Forgiveness is a gift,
one I give with a full heart.
You did not mean to hurt me,
just as I did not mean to hurt you.

Queen Rhiannon, bless us both
Your love and compassion are legendary.
Let us feel the healing of forgiveness
and ease our souls on Earth and the hereafter.

Blessed be.

I’ve got to admit it did make me feel a bit better. I still have regrets but they’re not as sharp. I did the best I could and love her still.

So that’s my entry. I hope it’s okay. It didn’t rhyme, I couldn’t figure out how to do that today. But it said what I wanted it to say.

janis · December 12, 2021, 8:01pm

Forgiveness and Freedom Challenge

A bit of context that I’m trying to express in a neutral non-triggering manner for my own benefit and for you my reader.

I started taking various antidepressant medication on and off from age 16 till now 60. I had adverse effects from taking Effexor and tapered off them, as directed by my psychiatrist, in 2015. The tapering was not successful and caused horrible “prolonged antidepressant withdrawal syndrome” that shut me down for years and it’s been a slow struggle to health.

I’ve come to terms that I will possibly never fully recovery but I work at supporting my nervous system daily and see subtle improvements over time. I welcome this challenge as another helpful step towards wellness. (I’m happy to share resources if you or someone you know is going through this and is open to suggestions. )

Rhodochrosite

“I forgive my past traumatic experiences that were my fate.
I thank my nervous system for being able to regulate.
I forgive my impatience while I turn my health around.
I thank my body for letting me know I need to slow down.
I forgive those who thought they knew best for my recovery.
I thank them for showing me, with clarity, what does not serve me. “

Blessed be.

Method:

I meditated with a pink candle for self love.
I wrote my forgiveness intentions (see below)
I chose a Rhodochrosite stone to carry to nurture my inner child and imbue compassion
I also have a pair of Rhodochrosite earrings from my late Grandmother to wear

I finished with a centering orienting walk around my neighbour

Cheers,
Janis

jessica72 · December 12, 2021, 11:49pm

@debra2 thank you so much for sharing all of that information! I agree so much that and I know that I am doing exactly the same thing. Holding onto the pain of the past is what is hurting me. Mitch isn’t hurting me anymore. I’ve made sure he’s gone. So he has lost that power. It’s what I am holding onto that is causing my self-doubt and pain. It’s all in the emotional attachment that I have towards my pain that is causing me to feel the way I have been. Thank you so much for sharing in your post. I really needed to read that. I think that you had a fantastic idea releasing the ashes of your letters into the wind. I’m so happy that you felt some peace with some weight being lifted from you. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me on my darkest days. Sending you a very big hug xxx

I love what you wrote @janis. I really love how you used Rhodochrosite with your intentions. I love using crystals in my spell work as much as I can. Thank you for sharing a fantastic entry.

@Amethyst I think that your prayer to your departed mum was absolutely beautiful. I know what it’s like to lose your dad when you’re young. Thankfully, I’m very lucky that Mum and I have a good relationship. We literally are all each other have left. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. As always your writing is such an inspiration to me. Thank you so much for being the amazing person that you are.

@Rowan I am so proud of you. I seems like it was such a difficult choice for you share with the group but you have done something so huge by being able to let go and forgive. But I am so happy for you that you have done this for yourself. Thank you for sharing something so personal with the forum. You really are an amazing person and I am a better person for having met you xxx

@Susurrus Thank you so much for sharing your entry. You have inspired me so much to get back into my journaling. I started off so well. Journaling every day since I ended things, then I got lazy, stopped writing and things in my head started to get messy again. I am now trying to write at least every other day. I am finding that it is helping. Thank you so much for all that you do for so many. You truly are a treasure.

Amethyst · December 13, 2021, 2:01am

Thank you, my friend! I and Mom only had each other too. I wonder if that would have made a difference when Dad died if she had more family to lean on, you know? Thank you for your kind words.