TW/Content warning: Blood, depression, anxiety. I will blur out any parts that may cause discomfort, but just a head’s up that it will contain content about blood and mental health. Please feel free to skip over this post if that will make you uncomfortable.
As I said earlier in this thread, this was a perfectly-timed challenge because I’ve been wanting to delve deeper into Shadow Work, and to start working on harnessing the energies of the Dark Moon, especially as it relates to Hekate.
I’ve been working through a flare-up of my depression and anxiety symptoms the past two weeks or so, so I haven’t been diving into this challenge quite as deeply as I’d like to, and I’ve been as gentle as possible on myself while still working to embrace my shadowy side. I have saved the workbooks shared by @katnabis (thank you for sharing these! ^_^), and will work through them after I’ve worked through this cycle of not-perfect mental health.
In the meantime, I’ve been journaling and trying to figure out how I can continue to push through and continue this up-swing I’m currently on. I reached the conclusion that a large portion of my anxiety and depression has been related to my tendency to procrastinate.
I’ve had a huge boulder on my shoulders lately: I’m turning 26 in the next few days, and on that day, I’ll be losing my health insurance coverage because I’m ageing out of my parents’ plan. I’ve been so stressed out and absolutely overwhelmed by all the different options and how complicated and expensive healthcare is here in the US. I was finally able to pull myself together enough to overcome my mental shut-down and just bite the bullet and sign up for a health plan. As soon as I finished the process, I felt a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders, and feel like I overcame a massive block in my self-improvement.
Now that that obstacle is out of the way, I can focus on working on overcoming my procrastination.
My journaling has also revealed the root of several of my other stressors and I’ve been able to work through what I need to do to work on overcoming them as well.
In terms of working with the energies of the Dark Moon, I’ve been working on forming a relationship with Hekate. I don’t want to go into too much detail because I feel like I want to keep something information personal. I will say that in addition to my usual devotion/offering to Hekate I’ve been doing, I suddenly got the urge one night to offer a bit of blood to Hekate. I got this feeling that she was waiting for me to show some sort of serious effort on my part, so I picked up some sterile single-use lancets.
The next night, I anointed a candle with Hekate Oil from WitchLab, and pricked my finger with one of the single-use lancets. I added three drops of blood onto the candle, one for each of the three aspects of Hekate. I lit the candle and reflected on Hekate as the Bearer of Light, and asked her to illuminate a proper path for me. Again, I don’t want to go too deep into the personal details, but I will say that I had a very intense experience, and feel like I’m a step closer to having a more full-on working relationship with Her. I CANNOT wait for the date of the actual Dark Moon, which isn’t until May 11!
At the expense of trying not to ramble too much, I’ll go ahead and end here. I thoroughly enjoyed the Shadow Work and Dark Moon work I’ve done during this weekly challenge period!