8 May 2021
This is a work in progress for my weekly witchy challenge entry and I’m going to add to it as I work through what I want to achieve for the challenge.
This was my first time trying shadow work so I started with some research and thinking about what I wanted to do.
I was already working way through the lessons on journaling and started my Book of Mirrors last week so decided to complete that course as a starting point.
Whilst I didn’t want to confront my thoughts and feelings about my relationship with my mother, when asked to think about someone I strongly dislike or who has behaviours that drive me crazy, I couldn’t think of anyone else.
So I started listing the behaviours and traits she shows that are the reason we no longer have a relationship, and was then asked to consider that those characteristics represent a part of me that I dislike. And I realised that’s right. I do display traits and behaviour similar to those of my mother at times, I’m conscious of it and I dislike it. But whilst I’m not in control of what she does, I am in control of what I do and how I behave towards others. Changing the way I react and deal with people is within my control.
It was difficult thinking about this, I’ve had struggles with my mental health for years and delving into the depths of my thoughts can be a scary place.
But I feel a little hopeful having done so too if that makes sense?
Anyway, the above is just part of what I’ll be doing for the challenge, I’ll edit and add more later.
9 May 2021
Today, having read @MeganB’s post, I took a look at her website and read through this entry on Shadow Work. It made a lot of sense to me, the foundation in psychology. I have a Master’s in Forensic Psychology and Criminology which I studied for part time with the Open University whilst working full time. I still have all my psychology textbooks so I’m going to dig them out and refresh myself properly on Carl Jung.
10 May 2021
Today has been a challenging day health wise. I woke up feeling dizzy and spent an extra couple of hours in bed before getting up, taking my medication and intending to start work (currently still working from home due to Covid). I think the interaction between my antidepressants and antihistamines may be causing the dizziness.
I had planned to dig deeper into Shadow Work tonight using the influence of the waning moon. But given the dizziness and developing migraine I decided that it wasn’t a good time.
Instead I focussed on the self-care part of Shadow Work.
I started with a relaxing bath with thyme and juniper.
I wanted to do something that felt like a positive end to this challenge by doing the Return to Sender spell but lacked the ingredients. Instead I used the Healing Potion tea recipe made from local honey, fresh ginger and lemon (with some added bourbon) whilst I lit a black candle and followed the rest of the Return to Sender spell. The combination felt right in the circumstances, self-care and freeing.
After that I lit some cinnamon incense and recited the chant to Hecate before blowing out the candle, quietly meditating and finishing my tea.
I’m going to rest with my thoughts for a while then journal and shut the door on this particular experience.
I’ll do Shadow Work again, I’ve found it a very helpful experience to deal with this particular “demon”.