It sounds like you have a lot going on in your spiritual life, @phyliss! And a very exciting divination too- it’s understandable if you feel uncertain or a bit scared inside, especially with how your powers have been treated by others in the past. Sending lots of support and blessings to you! 
If you feel lost and uncertain, my best advice is to take some time for a quiet meditation 
. Delve deep inside yourself and take a deep look at your inner mind. There are many different ways to approach meditation, here are a few resources that can offer guidance if you are considering it!
Take some time to be with yourself. To put aside what others have done or said to you about your abilities, and just spend time with you and your magick 
I am so glad you found your way here, and are beginning your journey to find peace with your magickal abilities! 
Blessed Be!