My Magickal Roots Challenge

This essay may be rough around the edges because I wrote it on my phone while I was waiting at the vet’s. My kitty was having problems with her left eye, so I scheduled an appointment earlier this morning. She caught pinkeye, but the vet gave me an ointment to give to her for the next seven to ten days and her eye is looking better already!

My Magickal Roots

My journey began in October 2011 when I was a senior in college. I was majoring in computer science with a minor in a Business. I was enrolled in a class where I was learning how to program with C. It was more difficult than Java, but I studied hard and was sure I’d get a passing grade. But that changed when my professor handed back my first exam of the semester.
D+.

I waited until I was in my dorm Tom before I let myself cry. I had studied hours upon hours all weekend, stopping only to eat and use the restroom for a D+.

This was only one of two exams (minus the final). I’d barely gotten a passing grade on my other programming assignments( which weren’t worth much towards my overall grade). This D+ had lowered it to at least a D.

After speaking to my best friend, she confirmed what I had known my freshman year: computer science was not for me. Unfortunately, I was pressured by my family to not change my major
throughout college.
“You’ll make a lot of money!”
“You’ll have a bright future ahead of you!”

Note: if any of you are going to
school or thinking of going to school, don’t let anyone pressure you into studying something just because it’ll make you big bucks.

I went to see my academic advisor who was also my computer science professor (and the only one at the university).
He advised me to change my major from computer science to general studies (with a focus on theology, philosophy, and history) and minor in computer science and business. He said some very unnecessarily cruel things to me. “No one would hire you, even if you did somehow manage to graduate with a degree in computer science. You still can’t write programs without using the examples in your textbook as a basis and you still come to me with questions.”

Wow.

At this time, I was a devout Catholic. After I changed my major, I’d felt betrayed by God. Since elementary school, I tried not to sin, went to church every Sunday, and was very active in my parish (altar server, Eucharistic minister, etc.). This is how I was rewarded for my faithfulness? What did I say, think or do?
I stopped dismissing the doubts I had about Christianity. I realized I was only worshipping God
for fear I’d burn in Hell.
And so, I made the decision to stop practicing.

After I graduated in spring 2013, part of me wanted to become a Wiccan. I had been drawn to it because I’d heard of the positive changes it has brought to its practitioners’ lives and being outside, surrounded by nature, always relaxed me.
However, I was still hearing all the Christian misconceptions I’d heard my whole life.
“Wiccans worship Satan.”
“Wicca is a gateway to Satanism.”
Blah, blah, blah.

When the lockdowns began in early 2020, my life (and the lives of many others) became very stressful. I was working overtime because many of my coworkers were calling off or quitong for fear they’d be exposed to COVID. Throughout a March and April, I was worried that I’d wake up one morning with COVID or that I’d bring COVID to my parents through the groceries I brought to them. My sisters were pressuring me to quit my job, telling me that I’m putting mom and dad at risk even more than they were.

I didn’t know what to do. There were countless ways me and my family could catch COVID.
I stayed at my job. From March to June, we all stayed healthy. Still, I kept worrying that by the end of the year, I would lose someone in my family (or even myself) to COVID.

Then about three days after Litha, I remember going out to water my flowers. The sun’s warmth felt calming. I noticed that the my flowers looked prettier than usual; the colors were vibrant and I could feel a warm pulsing energy. Then that night as I was getting off work, I felt the urge to look up at the sky and saw the waxing crescent moon. It was a only sliver of light, a day or two after the new moon. I couldn’t help but watch though and it filled me with a sense of peace. Then when I got home, I was browsing through Facebook and I came across a post that said, “You’re doing the best you can do in these unprecedented times. Don’t let anybody guilt you into thinking that you’re not.”

I believe that the Lord and Lady were calling to me.

The next day, I bought some of Scott Cunningham’s Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner for my Kindle and realized that Wicca was right for me. Since then, I have noticed an improvement in myself, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I can confidentially say that I’m the happiest I’ve been since that day in October 2011.

I studied as much as I could for the next month and during the Buck Moon, I set up my first altar… a cardboard box.:laughing: I must have made thousands of mistakes (heck, I’m pretty sure I still make some) since I wasn’t sure what I was doing. But that didn’t dissuade me.

After Lughnasadh, I discovered Spells8. The information on this site gave me the info I needed to figure out where I want to take my Craft and which deities to work with. I finally joined during the Full Wolf Moon after working so much overtime at end of 2020 and in the first month 2021 (I think I have the money spell I cast on the Blue Moon in October to thank for that :laughing:).

It means a lot to me how supportive, helpful, and friendly everyone here has been. I’m grateful
that I’ve found a haven on the Internet away from all the rampant negativity.

Thank you for the taking the time to read this. Have a blessed weekend! :sparkles:

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Wonderful writing! I was brought up Catholic so I understand the religious conflict that you were feeling.

I hope you told your advisor to kindly “f” off, that was harsh, there are better ways to suggest that you change your major without completely belittling the person. Just my opinion.

I hope you continue on your journey. I have had signs the last couple of days that I am doing the right thing & can handle what I’m going through. I would never have been so open to them without this path that I am on. Everyone here is wonderful & I don’t think I would change a thing on my journey. I love the people that I meet & the friends that I have made.

I made more mistakes than I can count. I remember the first time I set up my altar I used a dish towel that I like the color of and I was using birthday candles. I didn’t have anything so I did my best to improvise. I like to do the coffee consecration, because I love my coffee!

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What a great bit of writing. You did well. And I’m glad you’ve found your way to us. You learned some tough lessons, Never let anyone do your thinking for you. And you’ve come so far. I’m proud of you! :hugs:

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Sadly, no, I didn’t say anything like that to him; he was an intimidating person. :cold_sweat: I looked him up on my rate professor and he is still teaching there… and being given the lowest ratings from students.

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Thanks @kasie !

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I’m sorry you experienced that from him, but your feelings are valid with the way that it was presented to you. I can’t believe they aren’t listening to the students on this one. He should not be working with people trying to better themselves. Sending you much positivity love & light. I hope you have a great day! :hugs:

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I feel your journey, this definitely gives flashbacks. Good to know you are now so happy :hugs:. @Kasandra I can sense that there are more precious things coming your way.

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Stephanie,
We are going through the same thing it’s know wonder we found eachother here on spells 8. :jigsaw:Every one always touches me with a story that brings me encouragement in some kind of way weather it be through a crystal or a story I just feel that I am not alone! Your storyStrengthen me because I was going to school and I wanted to be in a criminal justice major and I graduated however I still have lots of work I need to do in order to make that work but finding my true self through nature and beauty has help me through all my battles! Thanks you for sharing your story what a blessing you are! We are cohesive I felt the spirit through my bones reading your story! Your story is magical !!
Thank you!!
Jeannie :woman_genie:
:dizzy:Blessed be!:sparkles:

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@Kasandra , this was beautifully written. I so agree with everything you said.
Blessed be and thank you.

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@Siofra , i hear you! I was a hot- mess in the beginning. It’s amazing how far we all have come. Thanks to this Spells8 family.

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Exactly, some people are just not equipped to be in such career-fields. Especially, when you’re supposed to be guiding people. They can do such damage. That’s when ones intuition kicks in. Just because a person in a position of power tells you something- doesn’t mean it’s always right.

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You’re welcome hon!

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You shared some really great advice here, @Kasandra- I agree 100% to follow your heart more so than your wallet (or what other people tell you will lead to big bucks). 4 years and thousands of dollars is a huge investment- it’s important to enjoy it!

Someone once told me that I wouldn’t remember anything from university classes- what really mattered was the experience and the people I met along the way. It turned out to be true! :grin:

You encountered some tough situations and bad influences on your journey- I’m so glad you used them to lift you even higher and find both yourself and your own wonderful talents :sparkles:

Congrats to you on your journey so far- it is truly a blessing to know you and have you here, Stephanie! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I hope you continue to enjoy your path- keep thriving!

Also- hoping that your kitty is all better and the pinkeye is gone soon! Sending good thoughts her way :cat: :two_hearts:

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Thanks @TheTravelWitch! Despite what happened, I enjoyed my five years at university. Knowing what I know now, I still would’ve gone there because I met my best friend who is like a sister to me in every way. The only thing I would’ve changed is my major.:laughing:
It might’ve taken me a bit longer to start my journey and find this site, but I believe I would have found my way here eventually.
Also, my kitty is doing much better now. She would squirm when I gave her the eye drops, but once she learned she’ll get a treat afterwards, she’s been sitting still. :laughing:

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Aww, thank you, hon. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I’m glad to hear how much my story touched you.

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Thanks @NickWick ! I can sense them too.

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You were able to find treasures along the way- it sounds like there were many benefits in the journey! It is likely that you found your way here exactly when you were meant to, Stephanie. And I’m so glad you’re here now! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

That is wonderful news about your kitty- a treat is a very persuasive argument for tolerating the medicine she needs! :smile_cat: May she have a speedy full recovery!

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Congratulations, Stephanie!! Your story reminded me of this quote I like: “When you find it, you’ll know”.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us. You are always welcome here and I think the reason this group keeps growing is because there is a mass awakening slowly happening. Cheers! :smiley:

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