I have been reading tarot for…oh my Gods, I just realized while typing this that I have been reading tarot for 10 freakin’ years. Of course, this is off and on and I still learn new things about the cards every day, but I picked up my first tarot deck when I was 19.
Anyway, that isn’t the point of this post. The point is that I have been reading tarot for so long but I have never done the Celtic Cross spread. I think it’s just because it’s so big and daunting. Ten cards? I usually only do readings that big once a year 
For this challenge, I decided to tackle the Celtic Cross tarot spread for myself. If you don’t know what the Celtic Cross spread is, click this handy link here → Celtic Cross Spread – Spells8
I am using my Hanson Roberts tarot for this reading, mainly because it’s smaller and I can fit more cards into one picture. The second reason is that I have been trying to connect back with the original imagery of the tarot for a while now. My memory isn’t as good as it used to be and I sometimes I have trouble remembering the card meanings and letting my intuition guide me.
Card 1 : “This covers you”. This card represents influences and positive forces that accompany you.
The Page of Pentacles → Manifestation and creativity flow, bringing about material success and pleasure. This is the beginning stage, showing a forward momentum toward the goals. It doesn’t signify completion but the first signs of progress.
Card 2: “This crosses you”. these are obstacles or complications in the situation we are analyzing. What obstacles are in your way?
Ten of Cups → An abundance of emotion and happiness? Maybe a limiting belief that if those I care about aren’t happy then I’m doing something wrong? This is usually a very happy card, so it’s strange to see it in this position. I’m taking it to mean that my emotions and desire for harmony are complicating things.
Card 3: “This crowns you”. An ideal situation or a possible future which has not yet been realised.
King of Swords Reversed → My inner truth will come to light soon enough. These thoughts and ideas have grown to maturity will soon be complete. My belief in myself will see me through to the end, no matter the size of the platform I carry.
Card 4: “This is beneath you”. The subconscious origin of your concern or problem. It’s all about what got you into the position you are in now.
Four of Cups Reversed → Withdrawing to myself and analyzing what I want has been the root of my current issue. This makes sense because I’m always trying to figure out what I want and where I need to go. Maybe I need to do less of this and just go with the flow.
Card 5: “This is behind you”. In other words, your past: the events that have lead up to your present situation.
Ten of Pentacles Reversed → Another card that makes sense. I struggle quite a lot with not focusing on the money. My relationship with money is one of lack because I’ve never been in a position where I don’t live paycheck to paycheck. Being a freelancer and working for myself is not easy and honestly, the money barely makes a dent in our monthly bills. I’ve been trying to break the cycle of money thinking for a while but when you grew up lacking it, it really affects how you view money and wealth.
Card 6: “This is before you”. Where you are going and what awaits you. These possibilities and alternatives may come in the next few weeks or even months. But this is not a final outcome, just the next step.
Six of Rods → The confidence is coming but still needs to be built. More success is seen in the future, both public and private. It’s also an encouragement to go for it. If I never do it and try, put myself out there, then nothing will happen 
Card 7: Yourself or your attitude towards the matter. How you feel at this time and gives perspective on the whole spread.
The Chariot Reversed → Yup, I feel this. The Chariot reversed is like a complete lack of control. I’m not driving though I really want to be. It’s like being scatterbrained and not knowing what to do. That’s pretty much how I’ve been feeling the last few weeks. I’ve been looking at ways to increase my income mundane-wise so I can at least make $1000 a month (that doesn’t happen like…ever) but it has me going in many different directions. Who’s driving my life right now? I don’t know. Not me.
Card 8: Environment and external influences such as the people around you. Be they friends, family, or coworkers, how do they perceive you?
King of Rods → Those around me, however, don’t see this. They don’t see the struggles but instead see someone who is working hard and making a way for themselves. They see the entrepreneur in me and the go-getter attitude I try to have. Wow, I didn’t realize how exhausting that all sounds.
Card 9: Hopes and fears. It shows your hidden emotions, desires, anxieties and thoughts about what you feel is coming. (me: I stg if I get The Moon…)
The Magician → Hmm, this is a positive card here, I think. The Magician is all about manifestation and having everything needed to succeed. I’m hopeful, then, that this will work out for the best. Even if I don’t feel hopeful now, I guess deep down I have high hopes and goals for the future. I just need to realize, then, that I have what I need to get it done.
Card 10: The outcome of the situation, the results of all the previous influences. If you don’t like the card you’re seeing, this may be a sign that you should question your desires. Depending on the case, it can be understood as a position of advice or what to expect in the long-term.
Knight of Pentacles → Basically, the Knight is saying to keep on truckin’ 
and putting in the work. Things will fall into place as long as the work is being done. That is one of the hardest things to keep doing, honestly, is to keep going.
So yeah, this reading just drug me through the mud in public and told me the buckle up and keep going. Honestly, being faced with the money situations that we are in and dealing with is something I expected, but this reading was way more comprehensive than I expected. I figured it would pick up on something else, but here I am standing face to face with the biggest fear I have right now. The one fear that makes me feel like a failure sometimes and that is the fact that, even though I have been freelancing since 2019, I never make more than $800 a month and that’s not okay. That’s not livable for us and I need to figure out a better way to market myself, market my products, get people to actually watch all my videos, and just earn more.
It’s very difficult, though, when I’m at home and having my hands juggling so many plates even outside of work stuff. It’s been a struggle and it’s going to keep being a struggle until I can figure things out and get that magick to work on my side and on my terms.
Well, know that you all know probably way too much about my life and my situation right now, have a cookie 
if you read all the way through this!
Continuing the discussion from 
Weekly Witchy CHALLENGE - A Touch of Tarot
, but do have pizza 
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I don’t know much about marketing on YouTube, but I’ve heard things like the algorithms make it a tough platform to build an audience. But I think that what you are doing there is heartfelt and genuine, so I hope your hard work grows into something more profitable for you soon 
it’s way too much all at once, honestly. I see where that would happen, though, because it is the one that’s always in the little books. My daughter even tried the Celtic Cross spread (she’s 8!) because it’s the one in her book.
I definitely feel like what I’m doing is heartfelt and sincere. But as in many realms of service, the appreciation isn’t always there from those who receive the service. I hope that makes sense 
Hopefully the money will come in soon! 
It’s funny how that works sometimes. Being able to read between the lines in this case is helpful. If only tarot would have big neon signs that say “HEY OVER HERE DUMMY” and point to exactly what we need to see