Sugar jar spell: How long do results typically start appearing?

Hello everyone; I’m Lilith and am new to this site. I haven’t been practicing my craft since almost 2014 now due to mental illness making my life difficult and just falling out of hope.
I’ve recently seen a psychiatrist who recommended coming back and putting time and energy into everything involved again since it gave me so much joy & this was some pretty sound advice that I took!
I used a sugar jar spell to make a person, someone who is technically an “ex boyfriend”, to help let go of past hatred, resentment, and ill will towards me.
This person has a lot of my things and has been refusing to give them back or even talk to me. I thought this could help bring him around to not being so cruel, and give me back my stuff.
I only performed this ritual just yesterday. I put lots of candle wax into the jar and the candle is all but done burning- any more than another hour or so and it could start burning through the lid. I know I have to be patient, so my question is how many days should I wait before asking this person if I can come get my things? I don’t want to ask too early before the spell has had time to settle. I’ve never used a sweetner jar spell before and this was my first spellwork in a long time.
Any advice or answers help. Also any on a good spell to start getting my witchy juices flowing again haha (if I’m not allowed to ask that question in this post and need to make a seperate one pls tell me and don’t flag/report me as I am new here and this is my first post to the forums).


Hi Lilith!

I’m glad you’re re-embracing your pagan path! Cheers to that! :raised_hands:

I understand your situation. I think the sooner you get your stuff back the better.

However, spells don’t tend to work well if you’re rushed for results. The term is “lust for results” and the lesson is: “You can expect the spell to work as soon as you forget about it”.

As you’ve probably seen on the sweetening spell page:

“If you are working on a very difficult person, you can expect the spell to take a long time. It’s important to be patient. A honey jar spell may work within two weeks to months, but it could also just take a few days.”

I suggest letting the spell work and not doubt it or overthink it too much. Meanwhile, plan ahead and think what would be the best way to get the things back, if you want to bring a friend when you pick up your stuff, or talk to someone in his family about it.

After all, the things are yours and you deserve to have them back.

The best way to get your witchy juices flowing is by getting creative! Listen to some Witchy music, get ideas for today with the Daily Devotional Page or Meditate to the Moon tonight!


Thank you for the warm welcome, it has felt so rejuvenating and invigorating to practice again and feel in touch with that side of myself & our lovely mother nature- even after only about a week of being back!

I understand that spells don’t work very well when we rush the results, or worse yet don’t take our time considering why we want to do a spell and spending the time to set our intent & just rush into the first spell we find without considering the results. I was curious as to what others had seen with their results from a sugar jar spell and how long it took from them to get an estimate since I’ve never used this method before. As you’ve seen around the internet the answers vary from a few days to a few months. I should have explained myself better when asking about the time frame!

I know it’ll take more than just a few days before I will be able to witness results. I will admit I had been feeling ansty about it since it’s not only the first time I’ve done this type of spell, but the first spellwork I’ve done in years. Thank you for the advice about just giving this up to the universe and letting the spell have it’s time to shine. I wasn’t feeling fully doubtful; as I’ve always very much believed in spells working when you put in all your faith and intent, but admittedly I was feeling a bit impatient by wanting to ask right away how soon I could expect the results instead of letting them come to me and even in just the few hours since I typed out my question I’ve been feeling a lot more relaxed and becoming more willing to be patient. Thank you for the reminder that I need to breathe out my intent and let the universe do the rest :black_heart:


Sadly there really isn’t a way for me to get my things back from him until he decides he wants to let me have them.
We had dated for a few years and it was a rocky relationship to say the least. His family raised him to not ever have to take responsibility for himself or his actions and actively played a role in blaming everyone else but him for them since he was a child. We had officially broken things off at the end of 2019. Towards the end of February this year we had begun spending time together again. It was never serious after that and was more about the companionship (and physical relationship), he also hid me from his parents so they haven’t known for this entire time. It wasn’t until about two months ago that things began started going sour because of my mental health taking a huge hit; he would react to my feelings of being suicidal & asking for someone to listen to me with empathy and kindness, not even asking for him to do or say something kind for me-just listen, with anger and told me things like “I’ll believe you feel all this when you’re actually dead”. (For context I’m sharing all this so you and anyone else reading can understand the level of resentment towards me and what I’m dealing with when it comes to my spell working).
He started refusing to see me or even speak to me about a month ago. When I’d ask him to bring my stuff back he’d say it’ll be on “his time”. Something he would always say is that he’d do it before work (I am staying a few blocks from his home and am also on the way, like he literally has to drive down the street I’m on type of “on the way”), but he wouldn’t ever show up and when I’d text him asking “Hey are you working later today, cause I haven’t heard from you yet” he would respond with “Fuck off I’m at work I’ll do it on my own time”. I’d tell him I was just asking if he was coming since he’s the one who said he’s coming before work but he would just respond with the phrase “fuck off” every time and any way I worded it.
I’ve asked him multiple times if I could just pick up my stuff from his house. he’d say no because he doesn’t want his parents to possibly see me. I asked if he could just walk the stuff to the end of the street then so his parents wouldn’t see, response would be “fuck off”. I’d ask him if I could have someone else drive me and have the car turned so you could only see the driver’s side, “fuck off”.
Then yesterday while feeling so frustrated after asking him in all these different ways where he wouldn’t have to drive or do anything that’s “not on his time” and would actually make it easier on him I said “You know I could just walk up to your door and ask you for my things in front of your parents right??” to which he told me he would just tell them I’m lying and convince them that I’m just insane and he hadn’t seen me since the 2019 breakup and then not give me any of my stuff back at all for dragging them into all this.
So that’s why I turned to a sugar jar spell. He’s using my stuff as a way of controlling me and making life harder for me because of all the (what I view as unearned) resentment, hatred and obvious ill will he has towards me. I have no other way of getting my things back until he decides I can either come get them or he’s willing to drive them to me :disappointed_relieved:


Hi @LilithLane I’m Krissie from Cape Cod, I’m sorry to meet you this way. I can say that I have struggled with my mental health for years, yes I am doing much better but every day is a fight and I’m happy you are here today. You absolutely should have your stuff back, have you thought about calling the local authorities for a preserver the peace where they stand by and watch while you gather your things? This sounds like a very toxic relationship where he enjoys having this control over you and maybe that will help you take it back and feeling like you have yourself back.


I’m sorry to meet you this way as well but I’m so happy to hear you are doing much better on your mental health journey!! I completely understand when you say every day is a fight. I have bi-polar 2 and BPD so every day is a battle within my own mind as well but recently I’ve started a new med from a psychiatrist who actually knows what they’re doing and the battle has been getting easier and easier to fight! Blessed be on your journey- mental health can be so difficult but we’ve got this :relaxed: :black_heart: :black_heart:

Sadly I have already asked my local authorities and they said that because I willingly gave him most the things to keep for me and he didn’t steal the things from me they cannot do anything since there’s no laws being broken. It’s really lame that there’s no laws protecting your stuff in California, or really the USA at all unless they are high value items OR if you were married. Ugh.

I’m going to give this to the universe. I’m going to keep having faith in my spell and karma, I’m going to keep relighting candles around the jar, and I’m going to keep meditating my intent every day. I know I will get my things back eventually.

Luckily it’s not stuff that I need to survive or anything like that. However he does have my Gamecube and the games, which being a retro console makes it cheap but the games however are not since it was never a really popular console so there aren’t a whole lot of the games in circulation. I babysit my younger sister a lot now due to Covid and I want her to experience some of my favorite games from when I was her age. I know that’s not like a super important thing and is a pretty first world problem but I still find it irritating that I can’t just go get my things back. He also has a few of my shorts and other articles of clothing I’d like back along with some spellbooks and art supplies. Things that are while are not essential are still MY things ya know?


I have schizoaffective disorder, dissociative disorder with amnesia from PTSD of past trauma from childhood through my early 20s. So believe me I understand and having a psychiatrist that gets it is always amazing. I refuse to switch psychiatrists because I have been with mine for so long. I actually just went through something like this today with one of my son’s friends. We have to call them to preserve the peace so he can get his things back, but there weren’t any laws broken, however I am in MA not CA. They do it as a courtesy so nothing winds up happening that they would need to be there for otherwise.

I agree that it would be nice for her to experience those things. We did it with our children. We got them some old joystick games that came with some games on them from when we were kids. Pac Man, Ms Pac Man, Space Invaders.

I would definitely give it to the Universe and what will be will be. Maybe once you stop asking or contacting him, they will appear at your where staying on their own and he will be a thing of the past.


Welcome! I’m glad you’re here! I’m sorry you’re going through a tough situation. And that’s oh so familiar with me. If you’re in the states, you have a legal right to get your belongings! I called the authorities and they assisted me so he has no choice but to return my things. He cannot keep your personal belongings from you. I have mental illness too. I have a few things labeled but I don’t like labels bc I’m a little rebel! I was in about 10 different meds in a day. I broke my emotional habits down to 2 a day! That took so much hard work! But, here I am. If you need anything at all, please let me know. I just read that you said that your stuff wasn’t stolen so you can’t get it back. California must have different laws than NY. Here, it’s different. And again, I’m sorry.