Tactical Magic – Challenge Entry
November 14, 2022
Since working with my providers… I realized that I have a habit of holding onto energy. I am currently learning ways that work for me to release it. One type of energy that I will hold onto and starts to affect me at home, regardless of whether it has anything to do with the people I am around, is anger or sometimes it can be a rage. I can feel it, I know it’s there, I feel it moving and my body language will change and verbal responses. I have to release it, or it continues to build and manifest outwardly when I know that’s not what I want to convey or project until somehow it comes out on its own. I used to stay home and closed off by trying to journal my heart out… physically though… it was still there running through my physical body and I needed to find ways to get it out.
I started by grounding and verbally setting my intention to release the energy, something a good friend of mine suggested to help with this is a “Progressive Muscle Relaxation Body Scan” meditation 
… I found several on Insight Timer… and I also found that it works best if I am laying down with calming crystals beside me and Selenite pieces at my feet as well as above my head with a clear quartz point at each end pointed away from my physical body. (Close to a human crystal grid I guess)
I then made my intention clear, to release the pent-up anger or rage energy that was adversely affecting me because it had to do with past experiences, not the here and now or the family I have around me.
(I had taken kickboxing before my body decided that it wanted to progressively cause other issues)
I still have my kickboxing kick pad, punch pads, and heavy bag. I wanted to release the energy I could feel building and leftover in my chest, arms, and hands. I asked my husband to help me. He was more than happy to do this with me.
We got my gloves, and he held he punch pads for me. At first, it was slow… remembering the different punches 
and modifying my stance and how I would go through with the actions. Since he knows my past trainer and my current abilities, he had asked him the best way to restart this exercise and held the pads, and guided me through each one while correcting anything that was off or changing something so I wasn’t falling over 
I put my gloves on (of course we are doing this in front of my bay window in the living room, so the neighbors must have been like… what the hell is going on in there? 
) I started slow to get the feel back and accuracy, then my husband would give me “combos” to do with one type of punch, then we worked on another type, then put them together or switched up how many of each I was doing with one side and the other.
I took a break; it’s been between 5 and 7 years since I have really done anything in the way of kickboxing… after about half an hour we got ready again and started over.
I would go as my husband told me the combinations to do and when to switch to a new one. We had come up with a way to name them and change them while I was doing them so I could do it kind of in a flow of sorts. Still sort of slow, but again… accuracy first then a little power behind them.
In the end, I went to our room and did another exercise to calm my breathing, work on… I guess a cool-down phase… and then once I had gotten through a relaxation meditation … journaled 
about the experience with him and how I felt afterward. I verbally set an intention for the rest of the day and set up my altar for a meeting with the Morrigan of gratitude. 
