Freedom in Forgiveness Entry

:busts_in_silhouette: Weekly Witchy CHALLENGE - Freedom in Forgiveness

Physical recation to healing spell?

Oakey dokey artichokey… I had been really struggling and had a really dark couple of days and I asked the universe for some guidance as to what to do to get myself out of this funk. Whamo! The universe delivered and I had best be paying attention.

So, for my entry into this impeccably timed challenge I wanted to focus on forgiveness not just towards Mitchell and his choices but also to myself. That is a huge step in my journey forwards out of this narcissistic and emotionally abusive 15 year relationship. To let him go completely I need to forgive him. Holding onto all that icky gunk that comes with him is only hurting me. It’s not doing a single thing to him. I’m stuck with me for the rest of my life whether I like it or not so I had best start getting to like myself a whole lot more.

Now I am not the most eloquent of personages and have an incredible way with words like our beloved @Amethyst and @Garnet and I do tend to make up my very own vocabulary. But I came up with this all by my onesies early this morning when I just couldn’t sleep. After I saw the challenge, I just started writing in my book of Mirrors. I looked at the clock when I felt finished it was exactly 3:33am. Spooky? or Coincidence?

Any who this is what I came up with. Apologies in advance for my one little swear word. No offence was intended, I just thought it fit perfectly.

“I pray that I can forgive you Mitchell, for your mistakes of the past.
This twisted connection between us, it will not last.
This time I am choosing me, I reclaim myself.
I am not some broken toy you can keep on your shelf.
Despite what my mind may tell me, No! I am not to blame.
Your choices for the past 15 years, that’s all on you. You wear the shame!
You may have just about broken every piece of me, but I will heal.
One day you will realise you have lost the real deal.
I pray that you can heal yourself. So you never again treat someone the way you have treated me,
But from all of your lies, manipulation, using and abuse, I am choosing to be free.
This is it. I draw my firm line in the sand.
On my own two little feet I choose to stand.
I take away your power to hurt me. You no longer have that right.
How dare you have the audacity to try and hide my light?
I thank you for your lessons. From you I have learnt a lot.
I have learned what I am, what I can be and what you are not.
Thanks to you I found who I am a brand new baby witch.
The universe can have you. You know what they say. Karma is a b#*@h!

I aslo found this guided meditaion that I am going to try.

Guided Meditation to Help Heal From Narcissistic Abuse: THETA Frequencies/Lisa A. Romano - YouTube.

I also am going to enchant my intention to an amethyst heart that I picked up for myself the other day in my favourite dollar store. I didn’t know why I needed it but I tried my mantra of telling myself now repeat after me… I (I) don’t (don’t) need (need) it (it)… while in store… “I’m gonna get it”. Well my little crystal friend has a purpose now. Any who this one I came up with all by my onesies too.

Cleanse and charge crystal in personal preferred method.

Light any favourite incense.

Hold crystal in dominant hand.

Recite 3 times.

“Repair what has been broken.
Find what has been lost.
Replace the piece that has been taken.
My heart. My mind. My soul.”

I am also going to to do A little Forgiveness Ritual from the ever incredible @SilverBear

Again a very big thank you to @TheTravelWitch for this challenge, I well and truly needed this.

And thank you from the bottom of my at the moment (best Stitch voice) broken, but still good heart to all of the amazing people that have offered me nothing but love, kindness and acceptance since the day I joined. Thank you for caring enough about me to listen to me, offer me advice and most of all for believing me and believing in me and what I can accomplish. You don’t know how much the support that I have received from my friends here has helped me. You are all the most beautiful people and I am blessed to have you all in my life and journey forwards.

image
Credit: Stitch Buzzkill memegenerator.net

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I am weeping for the joy of you. Brava, my darling girl. You have the power, you just forgot for a while.
I love you
Garnet

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Thank you xxx

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Wow, just wow! I needed to see, read, absorb and reflect on your entry. This put into words feelings I have had with two people in my life my ex and my mother. Thank you I feel your pain but thank you. You have just put me over the edge to begin the healing process.

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You’re very welcome and thank you for your thank you. I am happy that you found something in that and I would be honoured to walk down this path of healing with you. Please know that thanks to the AMAZING people here you will never be alone in your journey unless you want to be. There are so many here who have experienced the pain and torment and are living, breathing proof that it is ok on the other side.

Healing is hard, supporting toxic people is harder. It just seems like healing is the hardest thing you can do as for once you are forced to look after yourself and when you have spent nearly half your life making another your number one priority, you literally have to re-learn your whole life.

I really mean it though when I say I don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t for this amazing coven and the truly wonderful people in it.


Credit: Youth Dynamics youthdynamics.org

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@jessica72 ok first off we are lucky to have you. Your entry was amazing and I am extremely proud of you. You put yourself out there and are willing to do the work to be and feel better. You have had so much progress since you have joined. I hope you are as proud of you as we all are. And last of all, no part of you is broken. You are sad and scared, a little bent from the storm but not broken. You are stronger than you realize. And if you forget call me and I will remind you lol.

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I will. I promise and thank you xxx

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@jessica72 The universe can have you. You know what they say. Karma is a b#*@h!” I love that line!!

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“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can’t get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don’t care who you are. What goes around comes around. That’s how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”- Jessica Brody

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Absolutely stunning, @jessica72! :two_hearts: The beautiful prayer you wrote, the amethyst spell, your deep reflection- I am so amazed and so impressed by your work here. Words aren’t enough to describe it- you did such a wonderful job! :partying_face:

It sounds like this challenge theme resonated strongly with you, so glad to hear it! :blush: Though I can’t take the credit for the theme idea- I think you and @WhiteFox are sharing one heart and mind to both be thinking of forgiveness magick at the same time :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Numerology isn’t really my cup of tea, but 3 is a powerful number in multiple religions/spiritual paths (think: Holy Trinity, Rule of Three, Three Realms, etc.) and it looks like Plentiful Earth has an interesting article about 333 Numerology you could check out! :grinning:

So many moments in this piece made me smile, but this made me outright laugh- what do you mean you don’t have a way with words, Jessica!?! Your writing is overflowing with emotions and is so powerful to read. It takes lot of talent to bring out such emotion and empathy in your readers- I think you have a real talent for writing and I feel blessed to be able to read this heartfelt masterpiece! :heart::hugs:

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Wow. That’s great! You did such a good job at taking your power back! You’re going into the new year lighter in heart and soul. Good job!

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I’m immensely happy and proud of you. :heartpulse::heartpulse::heartpulse:

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@christine13 - Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. I do admit it really is my favorite part too. :laughing: :grinning:

@SilverBear - Thank you. And thank you so much for sharing the A little Forgiveness Ritual This incredible forum always seems to have the way of having the exact thing that you need pop up at exactly the right time. :blush:

@TheTravelWitch - Thank you so much for being so proud of me and your always kind words of encouragement. Ooooo yes please I’ll defiantly check that link out. Thank you.

Aw that is such a lovely thing to say. Thank you for that, that really made me smile. I’ve always thought of myself as an odd little black duck as I really do have my very own unique vocabulary. But I am one very lucky little ducky to be welcomed and appreciated here. I do have to admit it even now does still take a little getting used too, just being accepted for who I am.

For a very long time I had it in very much stuck in my head that Mitch treated me the way he did because I was a little different. I wasn’t “normal”. But being a part of this group with every single one of these amazing people has opened my eyes (sometimes in a very big way and sometimes in lots of little ways) to a lot of things that he had me believing that just simply aren’t true. It’s like I literally am re-learning ‘me’ again. Now that I have taken that big huge step away from him I am starting to realize just how twisted things were. And I owe a lot of that to the support, love, patience and guidance from my angels here. :purple_heart:

@Amethyst - Thank you. You know you really inspire me with all the incredible writing that you do! :blush:

@WhiteFox - Thank you for being proud of me. And thank you for the challenge idea. I honestly did pray to the universe the night before I saw the challenge pop up in the forum asking for guidance as to what I needed to do because I’m not gonna lie things weren’t great I was having so many moments of weakness and self-doubt where my thoughts were getting so dark and twisted. And boom! There was this challenge waiting for me to see. I can’t ignore a message smack straight between the eyes like that one. So thank you. You really have helped in ways that you can’t even imagine. :purple_heart:

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Aww, thank you for saying that!

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I think we are all very lucky to know this “little ducky”- you are a blessing here, Jessica! :heart:

And maybe it’s cliche to say, but being “normal” really is overrated :laughing: - there is so much to celebrate in being our wonderfully weird, uniquely awesome selves! :partying_face:

That being said, it can’t be sugarcoated- it is a long and hard journey to “re-learn” what we’ve been taught about fitting in and matching mainstream expectations. But I think it’s one of those things where the harder the challenge, the greater the rewards :muscle: There’s nothing better than finding inner love and acceptance for yourself. Tough to do in any way, but finding a group that welcomes you for who are certainly makes it easier (and less lonely!) of a journey! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :infinite_roots:

So cheers to you for how far you’ve come, and know that your Infinite Roots coven is cheering you on for the road ahead! :heart::blush:

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Just what I needed to see and read @jessica72 that was amazing girl.

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@TheTravelWitch @debra2 thank you both so much xxx

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Honey,
Mitch is definitely an A-Hole and if he cannot appreciate how wonderful you are? kick his a$$ to the curb!

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I promise every day I’m trying to kick him just that little bit closer to the curb. May only be a tiny nudge at a time but he’ll be completely out of my head one day.

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Ow you are so strong and you have so much courage writing out your guts out! I Applaud you for doing your part! I know your starting to love yourself again and peeling the onion :onion:
I can tell how much you are growing!
Blessed be❤️

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