Oakey dokey artichokey… I had been really struggling and had a really dark couple of days and I asked the universe for some guidance as to what to do to get myself out of this funk. Whamo! The universe delivered and I had best be paying attention.
So, for my entry into this impeccably timed challenge I wanted to focus on forgiveness not just towards Mitchell and his choices but also to myself. That is a huge step in my journey forwards out of this narcissistic and emotionally abusive 15 year relationship. To let him go completely I need to forgive him. Holding onto all that icky gunk that comes with him is only hurting me. It’s not doing a single thing to him. I’m stuck with me for the rest of my life whether I like it or not so I had best start getting to like myself a whole lot more.
Now I am not the most eloquent of personages and have an incredible way with words like our beloved @Amethyst and @Garnet and I do tend to make up my very own vocabulary. But I came up with this all by my onesies early this morning when I just couldn’t sleep. After I saw the challenge, I just started writing in my book of Mirrors. I looked at the clock when I felt finished it was exactly 3:33am. Spooky? or Coincidence?
Any who this is what I came up with. Apologies in advance for my one little swear word. No offence was intended, I just thought it fit perfectly.
“I pray that I can forgive you Mitchell, for your mistakes of the past.
This twisted connection between us, it will not last.
This time I am choosing me, I reclaim myself.
I am not some broken toy you can keep on your shelf.
Despite what my mind may tell me, No! I am not to blame.
Your choices for the past 15 years, that’s all on you. You wear the shame!
You may have just about broken every piece of me, but I will heal.
One day you will realise you have lost the real deal.
I pray that you can heal yourself. So you never again treat someone the way you have treated me,
But from all of your lies, manipulation, using and abuse, I am choosing to be free.
This is it. I draw my firm line in the sand.
On my own two little feet I choose to stand.
I take away your power to hurt me. You no longer have that right.
How dare you have the audacity to try and hide my light?
I thank you for your lessons. From you I have learnt a lot.
I have learned what I am, what I can be and what you are not.
Thanks to you I found who I am a brand new baby witch.
The universe can have you. You know what they say. Karma is a b#*@h!”
I aslo found this guided meditaion that I am going to try.
I also am going to enchant my intention to an amethyst heart that I picked up for myself the other day in my favourite dollar store. I didn’t know why I needed it but I tried my mantra of telling myself now repeat after me… I (I) don’t (don’t) need (need) it (it)… while in store… “I’m gonna get it”. Well my little crystal friend has a purpose now. Any who this one I came up with all by my onesies too.
Cleanse and charge crystal in personal preferred method.
Light any favourite incense.
Hold crystal in dominant hand.
Recite 3 times.
“Repair what has been broken.
Find what has been lost.
Replace the piece that has been taken.
My heart. My mind. My soul.”
Again a very big thank you to @TheTravelWitch for this challenge, I well and truly needed this.
And thank you from the bottom of my at the moment (best Stitch voice) broken, but still good heart to all of the amazing people that have offered me nothing but love, kindness and acceptance since the day I joined. Thank you for caring enough about me to listen to me, offer me advice and most of all for believing me and believing in me and what I can accomplish. You don’t know how much the support that I have received from my friends here has helped me. You are all the most beautiful people and I am blessed to have you all in my life and journey forwards.
Credit: Stitch Buzzkill memegenerator.net